marriage, motherhood, and ministry

Happy Love Day!

2012-02-14T14:58:00.000-08:00

Today completes the 14 Day Love Challenge and if you hung with me, you have invested a ton of time, energy, and thought into your marriage over the last two weeks. One day, as I was preparing our candlelight picnic, I thought to myself, "This is a lot of fun, but it's also a lot of work." I felt like God spoke to me in that moment to say, "How could your marriage NOT thrive when you are investing this much into it?"

Most of us would quickly affirm that our marriage and family are the top priorities in our lives. But often, those are the things we are the least intentional about. We may think strategically, set goals, and be quite disciplined in other pursuits in life. But we tend to float through family life without much thought.

God showed me through this 14 Day Love Challenge that we need to REVERSE that mindset. When I set mini-goals for myself in regards to my family (like candlelight picnics and love notes and lunch dates), I am motivated to stay focused on those. It takes some redistribution of my time, but it is worth the effort and the pay-out is amazing!

Here's a glimpse at our Valentine's celebration...

The night before our Valentine's breakfast, I realized that I didn't get any decorations or special things for the table. Hmm... time to get creative. So I pulled out some good ol' contraction paper and dangled paper hearts from the ceiling, found some red napkins left over from my friend's shower, and used Swedish fish to make a red heart on each plate. The kids loved it! When Sammy walked out the next morning he said, "Oooo, look it! Decorations! I like it!"

Last night after dinner, Sammy started jumping off the couch. Instead of stopping him, I decided to take pictures of him. Which turned into all of us jumping off the couch and taking pictures of each other. We had never done this before but it was A LOT of fun and I would highly recommend for you and your family to give it a shot!

A Storm Trooper joined our party. I love Andy's face in the pic below! :-)

I think I must have started having flashbacks from my middle school cheerleading days! Ha.

I hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day with those in your life who you love so much. But regardless of what your love life is like right now, there is a God in heaven who is ENTHRALLED with you and loves you to pieces! And we can all celebrate that!

How to Lead Your Child to Christ- Part 3

2012-02-13T14:52:00.000-08:00

In the first two parts of this series, I shared some ideas for

To get your child to say "I want to be a Christian" or to repeat some prayer after you without having this as a foundation can lead to a false sense of security for both you and your child. It is crucial that each child, to the extent that they are cognitively capable, fully understand the decision they are making. In addition to Step 1 & 2, there is (at least) one more element that is necessary for your child to understand what it means to be a Christian.

Step 3: Teach your child what it means for him to make Jesus "the Lord of his life."

That phrase, "the Lord of your life," is a little church-y, as in you hear it all the time in the Church but if your were to say it to a random stranger they would likely need interpretation.

Jesus is often referred to as "Lord" in the Bible. He is even called Lord of lords. Really, all it boils down to is that He is the leader. He's the One with the authority to make the decisions.

Driving in the car recently, Andy asked Caedmon, "What does it mean when someone is the master?"

I'm sure Caedmon's mind immediately went to Jedi Masters so he began explaining that being a master meant that you are the best at what you do and you're in charge and tell everyone else what their missions are supposed to be.

Then Andy asked, "What does it mean to be the leader?"

After Caedmon gave his explanation, Andy asked, "And what does it mean to be a king?"

Caedmon did an impressive job of answering the questions, and then we started discussing how that is what Jesus is for our lives. Jesus is our Master, our Leader, and our King. When we decide to follow Jesus, we give over the leadership and decision making to Him. We no longer decide for ourselves what we want to do. We listen to Him tell us what He wants us to do.

This concept is hard for a child to fully grasp, but I do not believe a child is ready to receive Jesus as their Savior until they have some level of understanding of this crucial element.

How do you make it practical?

Talk through your decision making process with your kids at age-appropriate levels.

For example, our family is in the process of moving as our lease is up in March. We have talked with the boys about our decision making process and prayed with them that God would lead us to the place that He wants us to live.

As you read the Bible & devotional books together, talk about how your kids can apply what they are learning to their everyday lives.

There are so many Bible stories/verses that highlight generosity, kindness, self-control, courage, etc... Character qualities that are God's will for all of our lives.

Share with your child (obviously, in an age-appropriate way) areas of sin that you have struggled with and how you have decided to stop doing things your way and start following the way Jesus has prescribed.

In my opinion, there needs to be a time when your child recognizes that what he wants to do (i.e. punch his brother in the nose) is not what Jesus wants him to do. And in that moment he has to make a decision whether or not he will allow Jesus to be his Master or will he put himself back on the throne of his life. This is the point at which a child can grasp the concept of surrendering his rights and his life to the Lordship of Jesus.

I will post Part 4 on Wednesday.

Happiness is...

2012-02-09T14:18:00.000-08:00

This week at South Bay, we are kicking off a brand new series called, "Happiness Is..." In a country where the 'pursuit of happiness' is one of our highest values, it is amazing how illusive happiness can feel. Just beyond our reach.

One time a doctor told me that he prescribes more anti-depressants than any other form of medicine. I've never met someone who wanted to be sad or depressed, but I've met a ton of people who are. I have been there as well, trying to find my way out of the seemingly never ending tunnel of depression.

When all of our pursuits for happiness leave us empty-handed, or at best with a few good memories, we are left feeling like there has to be more to life and happiness than this.

That is what we're going to be talking about in the coming weeks at South Bay Church, and you don't want to miss it. And I know all of us know of a few people in our lives that would benefit from being there as well. So you get there, and bring 'em with you!

All ya need to know:

Where: Don Callejon School

4176 Lick Mill Boulevard
Santa Clara, CA 95054

When: Sundays @ 9:00, 10:15, or 11:30 AM

Kids?: BayKids is an awesome interactive & fun kids' program that runs at the same time as all the services

More info: www.southbaychurch.org

How to Lead Your Child to Jesus- Part 2

2012-02-08T15:24:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I began a series of posts to provide parents with some helpful principles/practices in leading their children to a relationship with Jesus. Establishing a good understanding of the character of God is key in laying the proper foundation for any spiritual transformation. I listed that as "Step 1", but these steps are more concurrent rather than sequential as these things will all be taking place at the same time.

Step 2: Help your child understand their need for a Savior

In our culture, which has such a strong emphasis on promoting self-esteem and tolerance, parents can feel like they are going to scar their children or squelch their unique identity in providing strong boundaries, firm consequences, a clear instruction on what is okay and not okay. On the contrary, parents do their children a great disservice in allowing the child too much freedom. Children are free to THRIVE in an environment where they know where the boundaries lie and what to expect. There's plenty more to say on that topic, but not in this post...

The most important lesson for a child 0-5 years old to learn is that they are under authority, and you, as their parent, are that authority. That may sound harsh, but take a second to play out in your mind what the consequences will be for them if they don't learn that lesson. They will not respect their teachers in school. They will not respect their boss once they get a job. They may not respect various laws. And they will undoubtedly have trouble accepting spiritual authority.

Your kids need to know that you, as the one who loves them more than anyone else on this earth loves them, will make decisions on their behalf as to what is okay and what is not okay. And out of your love and desire to protect them, you will provide consistent consequences to train them to obey. This mirrors our relationship with our loving Heavenly Father, so our kids are learning how God relates to us by how we relate to them.

The reality is our children will disobey. (Intentionally, frequently, and often with great fervor!) When they disobey, your response is paramount. You certainly do not want to shame a child, but neither do you want to make them immediately feel okay. The goal is for the child to feel remorseful over their sin, to realize that there is a standard and they're not hitting it. They need to experience a sadness regarding their failed attempts to make good choices.

If a child never feels that discrepancy between who they are and who they want (and God wants) them to be, they will never feel their need for a Savior. When you see that remorse in your child's heart, you have the amazing privilege of sharing with them the gift of forgiveness! That kind of forgiveness, when someone feels desperately in need of it, is like healing balm to the soul. They can clearly see that they cannot meet the standard in their own power, no matter how had they try. They are in need of the mercy and forgiveness of a Savior.

So, let's get really practical. How do you get your child to feel remorseful over their sin? By asking heart-probing questions.

Don't just address the sinful behavior, but the heart behind the behavior. Peel back the layers on the motivation behind the choice. Guide your child, through your questions, to discover the sin in their hearts.

Example:
Caedmon threw a roll of packaging tape at Sammy this morning and hit him in the mouth. Our (private) conversation went like this...
Me: "What happened?"
C: "I threw the tape at Sammy."
Me: "Yes, and it hit him in the mouth. Was that kind or unkind?"
C: "Unkind"
Me: "What does the Bible say about the way we're supposed to treat others?"
C: "Do to them what we want them to do to us."
Me: "How would it make you feel if I threw the tape and hit you in the mouth?"
C: "Bad"
Me: "And what else?"
C: "Sad"
Me: "So how do you think it made Sammy feel?"
C: "Bad"

And then we went through the appropriate apologies. Thinking back on it, I could have probed deeper. I could have addressed what he was feeling when he threw the tape (possibly annoyed or angry) and tried to get to the root of that.

There are a couple great books on this. Shepherding A Child's Heart and Don't Make Me Count to Three have been great resources for me.

The bottom line, your precious, adorable, sweet little angel needs to realize that he/she is not perfect! They are under authority and cannot, on their own, live up to the standards set by that authority. They are in need of forgiveness. And most importantly, they are in need of a Savior.

Part 3 of this series coming up next week...

How to Lead Your Child To Jesus- Part 1

2012-02-07T14:17:00.000-08:00

In keeping with my theme for the week of sharing our faith, I thought I would share a few ideas for how to share your faith with your child.

For a Christian parent, one of our most important roles in all of life is to lay of strong foundation of faith for our children...teaching them about who God is, what Jesus did for us, and how we fit into that story. Most parents deeply desire for their kids to have a strong relationship with God, but many don't know where to start. The task seems too big and overwhelming, so it gets outsourced to the church. But God's intentions have always been that the family would be the petri dish for faith to grow and flourish.

So, where do we get started? I'm going to break it down into steps for clarity sake, but of course you know that life never breaks down into neat little steps. It's more like a bowl of spaghetti.

Step 1: Establish a good understanding of the Character of God

Our kids have to know WHO GOD IS before they can decide for themselves if they will love Him, trust Him, and obey Him.

How do you do this? Layer by layer.

There are probably a zillion creative ideas out there, but let me just give you a couple simple ones. Get a few age-appropriate children's Bibles and devotional books. I really like this Bible, but there are tons of options out there. It's nice to have a variety. There are also devotional books specifically for boys or girls and focused on certain ages. This is a good website to browse.

Each night before bed, snuggle up together for a few minutes to read a story from one of these books. We may read any variety of books throughout the day, but our kids know that bedtime stories are always going to be from the Bible.

Another very important way our children learn about the Character of God is though our conversations with them. As you are training them, include lessons about God. For example, if your kids are being mean to each other you could explain to them how God wants us to treat others with kindness because He is kind to us. At Christmas we give gifts because God is a generous God who gave us the most special gift of all through Jesus. When we're outside, we can thank God for his beautiful creation because He is the Creator. When your kids are playing make-believe or building something, we can praise their imaginations saying that God is a creative and imaginative God, too!

These two techniques (reading the Bible together & talking about the character of God in everyday life) can be used with ANY AGE! It is very easy to adjust the content to be age appropriate.

The other day, Andy asked our two boys (ages 5 & 3), "What do you think God is like?"

Caedmon said, "I think He's nice." (the kindness of God)
Sammy said, "God loves me!" (the love of God)
Caedmon added, "And He's really strong, too, Dad." (the power of God)

At BayKids, Sammy learned a song about Jesus being his best friend. All week he walked around singing, "Best friend, best friend, Jesus is my best friend!" Recently Sammy and I were talking about Caedmon and I said, "Do you love Caedmon?" Sammy- "Yeah." Me- "Is Caedmon your best friend?" Sammy- "No! Jesus is my best friend!"

That child can't count to five, doesn't know the color blue from orange, and has only been exposed to English for 18 months. But he knows two things: God loves him, and Jesus is his best friend. I'll take that over numbers and colors any day!

I just had to tell you...

2012-02-06T13:55:00.000-08:00

Recently, Andy & I got a new mattress. We'd been saving for it for some time and then decided to give it as a gift to each other for Christmas. It is UH-MAY-ZING, a total game changer for us. After we got it I found myself telling everyone about it. I'd be having a conversation with someone about their lemon tree and unsuspectingly blurt out, "I got a new mattress!"Both of us would look at each other kinda surprised by the sudden change of topic. But I just could not keep it in! I wanted everyone to experience the good sleep and comfort I was experiencing.

I think that should be the heart behind why we share our faith. It's not because we are commanded to in the Bible. It's not because we think we have all the right answers or want to conform the whole world to be just like us. The reason we have to share our faith is because we just can't keep it in! We have found something so over-the-top wonderful, so life changing and life giving that we have to tell everyone we care about because we want them to experience it too!

That is the story of Fred & Evelyn. In this beautiful video, you will see how they simply could not keep South Bay Church a secret. God was changing their lives in such a remarkable way that they wanted everyone they loved to experience the blessing. It wasn't about twisting arms or forcing their beliefs on other people. They had found a Source that was good, and there was plenty to go around.

Watch this inspiring video and be blessed.

If you live in the Bay Area, South Bay is hosting a "Go and Tell" Seminar tonight that will equip you to share God's love with those YOU love in a practical, non-wierd way. Change your plans if you have to, but get there if you can. Details here.

I'm an expert carpet cleaner...

2012-02-02T14:09:00.000-08:00

This morning, instead of enjoying a nice quiet time of Bible study while the Littles watched a show, my activity looked a little more like this...

As I scrubbed the poop out of the carpet this morning it reminded me a little too much of this incident. Fortunately this was a first time event for Sammy, while Caedmon was a recurrent offender. (I have the pictures to prove it.)

To be sure, that is not the way I was hoping to start my day this morning, but my kids have provided me with several laughs this week that I thought I'd share.

Caedmon told me that when he grows up he plans on working at BayKids on Sundays and being a ninja the rest of the week. I thought it sounded like a pretty good plan.
As we were driving down the road, 3-year-old Sammy said, "I make plan, Mommy." Already intrigued I said, "Okay, Sammy, what's your plan?" He replied, "I go meeting. I go playground." Sounds like important stuff to me!
When I told Caedmon I love him, he said, "I love you more!" I said, "NEVER!" So he said, "I love you just as much!" And I said, "NEVER!" So he said, "I love you 8 times less."
The other day Andy said to me, "One thing I love about my job is that I have 3 or 4 really high-capacity people who directly report to me." I replied, "I have 2 really low-capacity people who report to me." Andy agreed.

So today, Moms & Dads, I hope that you are able to find something to laugh about with however many low-capacity people are reporting to you!

Thankful Journal

2012-02-01T14:37:00.000-08:00

Perhaps the best addition to my life in the last month and a half has been buying a "Thankful Journal".

Just a regular, blank journal that has totally been transforming my life and the way that I think.

I'd heard of the ideas before...of keeping a journal of all the things I'm thankful for. But I never actually bought a journal specifically dedicated to that purpose. I just figured I'd include it in my journal that I keep for everything else- sermon notes, prayer requests, learnings from my quiet time. But in December, after being challenged by this awesome book on marriage, I finally bought a journal set aside only for thankfulness.

I'm trying to write in it every Monday. Sometimes I write in it multiple times a week, but at least every Monday. I use it to focus my mind on the things that I am thankful for about my husband, my kids, my church, my position in life, whatever comes to mind.

I've found that the things in my life I feel most grumpy about are the things I need to force myself to find a reason to be thankful for.

Is one your kids driving you nuts? Thankful journal
Do you find yourself nagging your husband? Thankful journal
Are you frustrated about your job? Thankful journal
Are you walking through a painful trial or crisis? Thankful journal

Whatever your situation, YOU HAVE A REASON TO BE THANKFUL. We all do.

I tell you what, this new discipline is transforming my mind. Because whatever we focus our attention on (be it the gripes or the gratitude) THAT is what grows in our lives.

Do you need a reason to be thankful? Start by focusing your mind on all the things in your life that you can already be thankful for, and I promise you that your blessings will begin to multiply. We miss out on so many blessings that God sends our way simply because we fail to recognize them and be thankful for them. I'm not talking about blowing sunshine and pretending like everything is wonderful in your life. I'm saying, even in the pit when everything around me is falling apart, I will choose to focus my mind on what is good.

What are you thankful for today?

Destined for Greatness?

2012-01-31T14:47:00.000-08:00

Don't forget, the 14 Day Love Challenge begins tomorrow and it's not too late to jump on board to be a huge blessing to your husband. Read about it here and here.

********

The other day Andy said to me, "Do you think every child has the potential for greatness, or do you think some kids can, at best, just be average?"

The question was coming from the fact that we pray great big God-sized prayers for our sons. Prayers like, "God, use these boys to change the world" and "God, use these boys to extend Your love to thousands of people." Almost every night as we tuck them in bed, we pray for them and tell them qualities that we see in them that we believe God is going to use for His glory someday.

The thing is, though, I know we're not the only parents in the world who are absolutely convinced that God has great things in store for their kids. In fact, I personally know of several families who pray and say the same type things for/to their kids like we do.

So the question remains, "Are all of these kids destined for greatness?" Are we, as parents, instilling false hope in our kids that God is really going to use their lives one day? Are we naive and foolish to believe that our children, through the power of the Holy Spirit, have the potential to change to the world?

What if our kids turn out quite average?

I guess the answer is found in how you define greatness. Jesus never defined greatness by the ability to draw a crowd or by being well-known or by excelling at some specific skill.

According to Jesus to be great in the Kingdom of Heaven means that you serve. He says the greatest commandments are to love God and love others. And everyone has the potential to do those things.

You may serve with a microphone in your hand in front of ten thousand people. Or you may serve with a stethoscope in your hand as you examen a child in a rural village in India. You may serve by using your creative energy and brilliance to invent some revolutionary new technology. Or you may leverage every resource God gives you to provide clothes, food, medical supplies, and education for people in bondage to poverty.

I believe with all my heart that each person God created is destined for greatness. Many never achieve it because they're pursuing greatness in all the wrong ways. But for those who will serve and those who will love, greatness is there for the taking.

Average? Not my child. And I pray not your child, either. They are destined for greatness.

Adoption...How to get started

2012-01-30T14:51:00.000-08:00

I meet a lot of people who tell me that they have considered adopting or that they've always wanted to adopt a child. But getting started on the journey is a wee bit intimidating, so many people (who would be wonderful adoptive parents) never take the plunge. I'm no expert on adoption, but I'm pretty passionate about it and I can at least offer a few pointers based on our experience...

Road Block #1: Domestic or International?
There is a huge need for loving homes both domestically and internationally, and they both have their pros & cons. In some ways, it's a matter of what grabs your heart more and what opportunity is knocking at your door. If your church has a ministry to foster children or crisis pregnancy centers and there's already a lot of information and opportunity for you there, then maybe you should follow that route. If your family is originally from another country and you have a heart for the orphans of that country, pursue it! If you went on an international trip and you just can't shake the faces of those people from your mind, maybe that's your answer. There is no right or wrong to this question.

Road Block #2: Deciding on an adoption agency
There are a TON of options when it comes to adoption agencies and it can be really overwhelming to know which one to go with. Every once in a while you'll hear a horror story of an agency that was doing something awful like embezzling money or kidnapping children to adopt, and it freaks everyone out. (Rightly so!) But, don't lose heart because there are some awesome agencies out there as well.

I recommend requesting an info packet from about 5 agencies and narrow it down from there. If you have friends who have adopted, ask about what agency they used and whether or not they would recommend them.

Our agency was America World Adoption. They are a Christian adoption agency based out of the Washington D.C. area and I would recommend them a thousand times over. We had a wonderful experience.

Road Block #3: It's so flippin' expensive!
Adoption can be very expensive, especially international adoption. Did you know (at least in California), you can adopt a child through the "Foster-Adopt" system and not have to pay for anything but the training? There are literally THOUSANDS of children (babies-18 year olds) in the foster system right now who need homes. Some of these kids are adoptable, some are trying to be reconnected with their own families, but they all need a home. THOUSANDS of kids in Santa Clara county alone are living in Group Homes where social workers rotate working shifts and provide for their basic needs like food, shelter and clothing. But these kids don't just need social workers to feed them, they need parents to love and nurture them.

Our total adoption expenses ended up being right around $34K. That's a lot of money. We thought it was going to be more like $20K (not sure how we got that number in our head) but we were surprised by how much everything cost when it was said and done. You know what else we were surprised by? How God provided for EVERY. SINGLE. DIME.

Did we have $34K in our savings account when we began that journey? Not even close. But we had some, and we knew God had called us to adopt, so we stepped out in faith.

A few ideas:

Design an adoption T-Shirt and sell it for any donation of $25 or more. If you have a blog, put a button on your sidebar to buy a t-shirt that way. Post it on Facebook.
Host a garage sale and ask all your friends to contribute stuff (and help you the day of the sale).
Sell other stuff: reusable grocery bags, jewelry, magnets, art, etc...
Apply for adoption grants.
Write a letter to all of your friends and family asking them to help you bring your child home by making a financial contribution!
If someone throws a baby shower for you, ask them to put on the invitation "In lieu of gifts, the ________ family would greatly appreciate a donation to help offset adoption expenses."

Another HUGE benefit is the Adoption Tax Refund which allows you to receive a refund of up to about $13K from the IRS for adoption related expenses.

One of the greatest regrets of my life...
Last year Andy was on a mission trip in Ethiopia with a group of men. One of the men was in his 60s and he said to Andy, "When my wife & I were younger, we thought about adopting a child, but time passed and we just never pursued it. Then it got to the point that we kinda missed our window. Not adopting a child is one of the greatest regrets of my life."

Don't miss your window. If God is prompting your heart toward adoption, don't miss it! Trust Him and obey.

South Carolina, Here I Come!

2012-01-26T08:00:00.000-08:00

By the time this post goes live, I will be on my way to see this beautiful face...

And this beautiful face...

Oh yeah, and these characters too!

My brave and amazing husband is letting me go to South Carolina for a long weekend by myself while he takes care of the boys for 4 days. (Pray for him!)

I am MORE than a little excited!!!!! WOO-HOO!

Just about the time...

2012-01-25T13:49:00.000-08:00

...I'm ready to throw out a bunch of toys that seemingly never get played with, Caedmon will come up with something awesome like this. A mega-battle involving all of his animals, action figures, army men, and rescue vehicles. Don't miss the hospital for wounded critters located on the futon to the right and the army men who are parachuting in behind Sammy.

Caedmon was pretty impressed with himself, too, and needed to take his own

set of pictures to document his work!

14 Day Love Challenge

2012-01-24T14:42:00.000-08:00

Ok, girls, I made a calendar to help organize all the ideas that I had yesterday. Feel free to use what works for you and make any modifications necessary. Have fun!!!

Valentine's Day Fun (for married couples)

2012-01-23T15:26:00.000-08:00

WARNING: This blog is a little more "X-rated" than my typical family friendly post. Therefore, my parents, in-laws, and all unmarried people should stop reading right now. And, Andy, if you read this you will spoil all of your Valentine surprises, but I guess you can just look forward to them with anticipation. Your choice.

Now that we got that out of the way, I will proceed as if only married girls are reading this post...because that is who it is intended for. :-)

OK, girls! Are you ready to take a 14 Day Love Challenge and be a HUGE blessing to your husband? This is going to be a lot of fun!

February is just around the corner, and instead of celebrating our love just on one day, let's get creative and spread it out a little. Starting on February 1st, let's begin doing things (small or big) to express to our husbands how much we love, respect, and appreciate them!

Here is a list of ideas to get you started:

Get 14 index cards and write one thing you respect about your husband on each card. "Hide" one per day in a place that he is sure to find it. I promise you, by day 3 or 4 he will be hunting for them!
One night after the kids are in bed, prepare a candlelight picnic in your living room. A blanket on the floor, strawberries, cheese & crackers, something chocolate, and a bottle of wine/champaign/sparkling grape juice. Bonus points if you're naked!
Do something to bless him at work. Something slightly public so those he works with notice, but nothing too embarrassing. One idea I had is getting him several small gifts and having various co-workers give them to him on your behalf at appointed times throughout the day.
Choose one day to send him love texts all day long. Think of things to say that you know would encourage him or put a smile on his face. (Sexting is not recommended, but I guess that's up to you!)
Make his favorite dessert for him.
Spend 5 minutes per day in focused prayer just for your husband. Thank God for all of his wonderful qualities. Pray for areas in your marriage that need growth. Pray that God would help you to be the spouse that your husband needs.
Initiate intimacy every other night for two weeks...or if you're really a Superwoman, go for once (or twice!) a day. Try some new things to break up "business-as-usual". A new lotion, new lingerie, new location...
Think of a little project that is on his "to-do" list that he just hasn't been able to get around to. Do it for him and leave him a little note that says, "Because I love you. From, a helper suitable for you!"
Plan your Valentine's date. Arrange childcare, get reservations, plan something romantic. Don't leave all the planning up to your man and then act disappointed when the date didn't meet your expectations.
Kidnap him from work for a lunch date.
Download the song that you danced to at your wedding. Dance together in your living room and think of how far you've come since that day!
Find a good time to ask him, "What is one thing that I could do differently to be a better helper to you?" No matter what he says, don't defend yourself or make excuses. Thank him for his honesty and tell him that you will work hard to be more attentive to that. (If he says, "Nothing", it's probably either that he can't think of something off the top of his head or he's nervous to tell you because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings or get in a fight. Give him the freedom to tell you his idea whenever it comes to him, and promise him that you will respond graciously. You want to know!)
Watch a movie (one of his favorites, a "guy" movie, or something really romantic) wearing either sexy lingerie OR nothing at all! If you have kids, just keep a blanket nearby incase they wander out. :-)
Make him his favorite breakfast one morning. Andy's is French Toast Casserole...pure goodness! Decorate the table (or tray if you do breakfast in bed) with candy conversation hearts.

I would LOVE to know if you're in and hear any more ideas that you have, so leave me a comment. This is going to be a lot of fun!

And if your marriage is struggling and all of this seems like way more work than fun, I challenge you to "fake it till you feel it". When you do what you CAN do, God will step in and do the IMPOSSIBLE. He can restore the love and intimacy that seems dead right now. So go ahead and take the 14 Day Love Challenge...you may be 14 days away from a miracle!

Caedmon, the Rock Star

2012-01-19T15:02:00.000-08:00

Here's a good reason why we're glad that the command was to:

"Make a joyful NOISE unto the Lord."

Hope you didn't miss the applause by a doting little brother at the end!

Mom Tip: A Gentle Answer

2012-01-18T15:06:00.000-08:00

Do you ever find yourself barking at your kids? Groaning? Sighing? Growling, even? (I never do, of course. I was just wondering if you do. Ahem...)

If you ever do find yourself getting more and more short, more and more angry, and more and more frustrated with your kids, then you know that it is a downward spiral. Your harshness stirs up their anger which results in more bad behavior which leads to intensified "Mom-Wrath". It is a bad cycle and you've got to do something drastic and intentional to break it.

Recently, God has been using a Bible verse to challenge me to think about how I communicate with my kids.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Psalm 15:1

Whenever something makes me want to snap at one of my kids, I have a split-second decision to make: what tone will I use? Will I say it louder? Will annoyance be in my voice? Will I switch over to my authoritative "Mom-voice"? Will I nag, "How many times do I have to tell you..."?

Or

Will I quiet my voice? Will I say it so softly it catches them off guard? Will I physically move toward them to get eye contact and then say it just loud enough for them to hear?

You may think, "Oh, that would never work with my kids." And maybe it wouldn't at first. Maybe they're so used to waiting to obey until they can see the blood vessels bulging out of your neck that the gentle approach will take some time. But if you are consistent, they will get it.

Michelle Duggar says that the quieter she gets, the more serious her kids know she is.

I can assure you of one thing, your gentle answer has the potential to rip the stronghold of anger right out of your family! You don't get to pick what type of mood your child will be in today, but you can make a choice to respond with self control. You can make a choice not to respond at all until you've mustered up some self-control. You can diffuse your child's anger by speaking gently instead of with harshness.

It makes me laugh out loud when Andy suddenly starts talking to one of our kids in hushed tones because I know he's super-annoyed but this verse just popped in his mind. I tell you what, we are a work-in-progress over here at the Wood household!

A gentle answer...picture your words being a soft caress of the forehead instead of backhand to the cheek bone. Your children will thank you! (but probably not for a long time...)

Gonna find out who's NAUGHTY or NICE...

2012-01-17T13:52:00.000-08:00

Were there any other parents that found themselves using Santa as a bargaining chip for good behavior in December? I don't know how many times I sang, "You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why..." I was ringing that bell for all it was worth!

So I had a really good laugh on Christmas morning at one of the (many) gifts my in-laws gave Caedmon & Sammy. These are my two favorite pics from Christmas morning...

Disclaimer: That is not an actual tear of sadness coming from Sammy's eye. Just drippy eyes as hopefully you can tell from the silly "sad" face he was trying to make! And, yes, I realize Caedmon's eyes are swollen. We don't know why but they do that often. Allergies, perhaps?

Will You Pray for Me?

2012-01-16T14:59:00.000-08:00

I frequently get the question, "So what's your role around here [at South Bay Church]?" As the pastor's wife, I used to squirm a lot when trying to come up with an answer. I felt like I needed to present some defined role complete with a job description. But as time has passed, I've gotten more okay with having a fluid, as opposed to defined, role.

I used to run the kids' ministry.
Sometimes I'm an "official" greeter.
Occasionally I'll be on stage to do the welcome or even a bit of teaching.
Normally you'll just find me wherever Andy is...encouraging him, giving him feedback on his sermon, or grabbing him a bottle of water.

Perhaps my new favorite part of my role is praying with people.

Most Sundays Andy & I stand near the Hospitality table in between services. It gives us a great chance to meet new people and talk to anyone who wants to stop by. I'll be honest, this is not really my cup of tea. As South Bay grows, I often have no idea if the person I'm talking to is a first time guest or has been coming for 9 months. It's possible that they're already connected into serving and Life Groups and I just don't know them. It's even possible that I've met them several times and just don't remember. That is a bad feeling.

But you know what I love about standing over there and talking with people? I get to pray with a lot of them. Over the course of a conversation, people will share what is going on their lives, a need that they have, a decision they're trying to make, a struggle they're going through. Sometimes they will come right out and ask for prayer. Other times I'll ask them if I can pray for them.

On the way to church on Sundays, I ask God to guide me to the people He wants me to connect with that day. That way, I see every conversation as an opportunity to minister to or bless someone. When someone starts talking to me the thought often runs through my head, "You may be the reason that I'm at church today."

Yesterday I had conversations with 6 different people. After each conversation, I wrote their names in my journal and this week I will spend time in prayer for them. And next Sunday, I'll try to track them down to hear an update.

Six people out of 750 isn't very much. It's a very small touch. But if each of us go to church with the desire to touch just a few, our church will be full of life and warmth.

So next Sunday as you head to church, ask God who He wants YOU to love on that day. And if it's a Sunday that you feel like you're the one who's in need of a little love, stop by the Hospitality table and get a hug from me!

Mom Tip: Blame it on Wednesday

2012-01-11T14:24:00.000-08:00

Breakfast used to be a mine field in our family. If I made one wrong move, Caedmon would absolutely blow up on me and then we'd begin a downward spiral of bad behavior & discipline. Not a fun way to start the day.

I'd hand him milk and he'd yell, "I wanted juice!"

I'd hand him orange juice and suddenly he wanted apple juice.

It was brutal. I'm not the type of mom that says, "Oh, okay. No problem. I'll get you some apple juice instead." No. I'm more the "Let me hear you say 'Thank you for providing something healthy and sanitary for me to drink'" kind of mom.

Not only was food selection a source of strife, but I found that the kids were eating the same thing most days. So, I came up with a little system because we all know a SYSTEM can:

Save
You
Stress
Time
Energy &
Money

I made a notecard with our breakfast meal plan (which stays the same every week) and stuck it on the fridge. Now, each morning I just consult the handy-dandy notecard to figure out what the Littles are having for breakfast. No thought. No pressure. No walking on egg shells in fear of a land mine.

Sunday: eggs
Monday: yogurt (with or without granola)
Tuesday: cereal
Wednesday: oatmeal
Thursday: eggs
Friday: free choice
Saturday: cereal

That way if Caedmon says, "Why are we having oatmeal today?" I can respond, "Because it's Wednesday." Blame it on Wednesday. And for whatever reason, in his little mind, it takes all the responsibility off of me and puts it on Wednesday.

I love our little system and think I'll keep using it until the Littles are big enough to make their own breakfasts. If breakfasts are a mine field in your family, give it a shot. Once the kids adjust to the idea of the new system, you will find a lot less strife surrounding the breakfast nook!

A Blurry Line

2012-01-10T14:07:00.000-08:00

After a good conversation I had with a friend recently, I was left thinking about the difference between living a disciplined life and being legalistic. At first glance, they can look the same. At times all that separates them is a gray fuzzy line.

One quality is a Biblical virtue. The other infuriated Jesus. That sounds a little dangerous. Like there should be more distinction.

Speaking of things that deserve a little more distinction...especially first thing in the morning!

Last week I mentioned a few adjustments I'm making for 2012. One was my commitment during the month of January to give up desserts and to only drink water. The other commitment was finding one 15 minute time block per day to focus on prayer. Those can be good, healthy commitments which provide the right structure to help me accomplish the goals I'm trying to reach, or they can turn into legalism.

So how do you know which side of the fence you're on? How can I make sure that my heart is really seeking to honor God instead of just living according to all these man-made rules...crossing all my "t's" and dotting all my "i's" just to impress myself or some random people who probably don't actually care that much?

Here's a few thoughts. Ask yourself:

"What specific goal am I trying to accomplish?" (i.e. losing the 5 pounds I gained over the Christmas holidays or having a more intimate relationship with the Lord)
"Is this structure that I've put in place really going to help me accomplish that goal?"(When it stops helping you accomplish the goal and you're just doing it because you're "suppose to", you need to drop it and find a new way to accomplish your goal.)
"How will I measure my progress?" (Weight loss is easy to measure, intimacy with the Lord is a little more tricky.)
"Should this be an on-going discipline or a short-term commitment?" (I'm not giving up desserts indefinitely. But a more intimate prayer life is something I'm hoping will become apart of who I am long-term.)
"How will I handle failure?" (I've already realized that the weekends are going to be really difficult for me to find that 15 minute time block. But instead of throwing in the towel, I've just adjusted my structure to say that I will find one 15 minute time block five days a week to focus on prayer.)

I think most of us are finally motivated to change something in our lives when the pain of NOT changing is greater than the pain of changing. And, according to Dr. Henry Cloud, when you realize your maturity is not strong enough to make that change, you should add a little external structure. The external structure (or discipline) is simply a tool to get us from point A to point B.

For me, these added disciplines are a stake in the ground, a line in the sand acknowledging that I believe God wants to move me from here to there, and this is my simple, tangible starting point. You've gotta draw a line somewhere!

HELP! My child won't sleep!

2012-01-09T14:55:00.000-08:00

I'd like to introduce you to my new best friend...

Anyone who has followed this blog for very long knows that we have some "sleep issues" around the Wood household. We have had Sammy home now for nearly one year five months, and I could count the number of times he has slept through the night on two hands.

When Sammy first got home, he would have night terrors and be very scared throughout the night. That took about 3 months to get through, but he never caught on to sleeping all the way through the night. Once we moved him out of his pack-n-play in our room into sharing a room with his brother (at about 6 months home), the trend continued. Every night he would wander into our room and simply want one of us to walk him back to his room. This could happen anywhere from once to 4 times a night.

More recently, he's become quite the party animal in the middle of the night. No longer feeling the need to check in with mom & dad if he wakes up, he finds all kinds of things to do to keep himself entertained.

We've found him sitting on the couch watching TV at least half a dozen times. We keep one of our remotes up high on a shelf so the kids don't touch/lose it. But Sammy would push a little table across our living room, climb up, step over to the entertainment center, and get the remote down! I came out recently (at 3 AM) and he had turned on our Apple TV, found Netflix, and found a VeggieTales to watch. That's better than the time I found him watching a trailer for Good Will Hunting! We now take the remotes in our bedroom at night.
On another occasion, he destroyed one of our bathrooms. When we discovered the mess the next morning, there was a half inch of standing water on the floor, all of the beach towels had been pulled out and were sopping wet, 2 tubes of toothpaste had been eaten, and mouthwash was all over the place.
3 times we've found him sleeping on the couch the next morning (once with Andy's laptop as his pillow)
And let's just say that there has been more than one time that we have found him butt-naked

We tried putting up a gate, but he learned how to knock it over. We've tried leaving a special stuffed animal and mini flashlight in the hallway for him to get in the middle of the night. Not interested.

17 months, People! Do you realize how long that is?

At some point you start to lose your mind and begin thinking of crazy ideas like just leaving and checking into a hotel or putting a small mattress inside of a dog kennel. Don't judge me... :-)

Last week, my dear friend (who also happens to be an incredible mom) introduced me to Melatonin. It is a chemical that your body naturally produces and can help with sleep issues. She had given it to her kiddos to help them adjust from jet lag and then gave me the rest of the bottle.

I'm not a doctor or pharmacist, so don't hold me liable, but I could not keep this new found friend a secret!

I've given it to Sammy for 4 nights now:

1st night: he didn't wake up until 6 AM
2nd night: made it to 6:15 AM
3rd night: 6:40 AM
4th night: 7:15 AM!!!!

Now, I don't plan on keeping Sammy on this indefinitely. But his little body is not accustomed to getting the good night sleep that he needs. So I am using this as a "system reboot" to help him form a habit of sleeping through the night, and then we'll wean him off.

So, I am not trying to prescribe (or even recommend) this to anyone. I just realize that there may be some other sleep deprived parents out there who are about to lose their minds and they need another option. If that's you, talk to your doctor/pharmacist, do a little research, and maybe, just maybe, it will change your life! It is working gloriously over at the Wood household!

$2 Fun

2012-01-05T10:42:00.000-08:00

Instructions:

Buy 2 cans of silly string from the dollar store.
Take your crazy kids and husband outside.
Let them go at it!

Must See Movies

2012-01-04T14:14:00.000-08:00

What is it about the Holidays that makes us all want to watch way too many movies?

Andy & I don't make it to the theatre very often (mainly because it's so freakin' expensive), but we watch many-a-movie in the comforts of our own living room. It's nicer that way because you can snuggle on the couch and make out afterwards without being interrupted by the high school theatre employees. Just sayin...

We watched 4 movies (all out on DVD) over the holidays that were really awesome. If you've not yet seen these, you will not be disappointed.

Let me know what movies you saw that are worth seeing...I'm always on the lookout for a good movie!

Bye, Bye Holiday Foods

2012-01-03T10:43:00.000-08:00

Is anyone else glad that holiday eating is over at last?

I love, love, love all the holiday foods. And I don't do a lot to limit my intake of them during the holidays. But by the time the holidays are over, I always feel like a big peanut-butter ball myself!

That's why I equally look forward to getting rid of all the rich foods and bringing out the healthy ones. The last several years I have used the month of January to detox my body and focus myself spiritually. There is nothing at all wrong with feasting. It's Biblical, actually. But there needs to be a bookend. Feasting that lingers is gluttony (which translates into jeans that don't fit).

This year I am not doing an official "fast", but I am making two small (or HUGE) changes during the month of January that help me put a bookend on the holidays.

No desserts during the month of January (including but not limited to muffins, dessert breads, and the obvious...cookies, cakes, etc...)
I'm allowing myself one cup of tea each morning, and then only water to drink the rest of the day.

It's nothing too drastic or huge. But it's a small death to self as I am overly zealous about good dessert and I so enjoy a cold Diet Coke every day around lunch. Every time I deny myself these "goodies" I am reminded that, oh yeah, I can have self-control and food will not be my master.

Feasting and fasting...both can teach us so much about God and ourselves!

The One Thing

2012-01-02T14:51:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! It's good to be back.

Yesterday at South Bay, we showed a message by Pastor Craig Groeschel entitled "The One Thing". Click here to listen to it. He challenged us to try to focus in on ONE thing that we feel God prompting us to do differently this year.

ONE thing to strengthen our relationship with Him...
ONE thing we need to let go of in order to move forward...
ONE of God's promises we need to cling to.

Changing just one thing seems like it won't make that much of a difference. It's tempting to want to work on this, and that, and, oh yeah, that thing too. But if we really commit to spending a whole year focused on the ONE thing that God lays on our hearts, it will change who we are. And if we do that every year for an entire decade, we're likely to look like a completely different person.

As I spent some time reflecting on the ONE thing that I felt like God would want me to focus on, I felt led to focus more on prayer. You see, I really enjoy reading my Bible. It's tangible. There's a starting and stopping point. I can "check it off" my reading plan as I read each chapter.

But prayer... prayer just feels so open-ended. It can leave me feeling overwhelmed and guilty, like I could never pray enough.

I enjoy praying with other people. I enjoy writing prayers in my prayer journal. I'm even doing much better at remembering to pray small prayers throughout the day. But I don't really enjoy [just begin honest here] sitting down by myself to pray for an extended period of time.

I want to want to pray. You know what I mean? I think I'll pray for that.

So, here is my ONE THING that I'm committing to focus on in 2012:
I will pray find one 15 minute time block per day to focus on nothing but prayer.

It's not a huge commitment, but it's a good starting point. I think most days I'll do it right after I put Sammy down for his nap. We'll see.

But here's what I know...I am in desperate need of God's hand on my life, on our family, and on this church. When God's Spirit is poured out, it is an unstoppable force. But when it's not, everything we do is just man-made efforts. And I don't want to live my whole life duct taping toothpicks together and calling it a work of God. I want more of HIM in 2012.

So I'm going to get over my "I get bored when I pray" and "My mind wanders" excuses. I'm going to get desperate for God to move in and through my life this year.

I would love for you to leave a comment to let me know what your ONE THING is for 2012.

From Our Family to Yours...

2011-12-24T15:22:00.000-08:00

May your Christmas be blessed with the presence of Jesus as we reflect on the most amazing gift ever given to mankind. I'll be back to blogging in the New Year.

For Unto Us A Child Was Born!

2011-12-22T14:32:00.000-08:00

Today my brother & his wife had their first baby, Taylor Lynn Cloud! She is our first female addition among the grandkids on that side of the family. And might I mention that she is perfect in every way, complete with a dimple in her chin! It is so hard for me not to be there in South Carolina today, because that is definitely where my heart is. But I am thankful to already have a plane ticket for January and can't wait to smother her in love and kisses!

6 lbs 12 oz.

19 inches

Born @ 12:21 on 12/22

Let the spoiling begin!

South Bay Staff Christmas Party

2011-12-21T13:59:00.000-08:00

It is my joy, once a year, to get to host the South Bay Staff Christmas Party. I don't want them to have to plan their own party or think about anything but getting there. This is my chance to show them how much Andy & I love and appreciate them.

I feel so blessed to get to serve along side people who we truly love and enjoy.

We had a great time and shared many-a-laughs that night. A couple people threw in some really funny gifts for our gift exchange. Andy and I came home with quite the risque board game called Tantric Love (which Andy is convinced we are going to play)!

The kids had fun too as we had some special activities planned for them. The highlight of my evening was probably watching all the kiddos open their gifts that South Bay had purchased for them (& I got to pick out!). They were so happy and having such a blast playing together. We want each of those precious children to grow up knowing that they are a valuable part of this team!

Here are a few snapshots of our evening...

Just one more reason...

2011-12-20T13:34:00.000-08:00

...why I love living in California.

Goat Rock Beach

An [awkward] Christmas Greeting

2011-12-19T09:15:00.000-08:00

If you live in the Bay Area, we would LOVE for you to join us this Christmas Eve as we celebrate the birth of Jesus!

Here's the details:
WHEN: Saturday, December 24th at 4:30 & 6:30 PM
WHERE: The Marriot @ 2700 Mission College Blvd, Santa Clara

Click here to get your free tickets. (Those with tickets will get priority seating.)

And here's your personal invitation from South Bay's very sophisticated pastors:

Ahhh... aren't you just so proud to call those men your pastors?!

They make me laugh.

Christmas Presents & Kids

2011-12-18T09:30:00.000-08:00

Most parents struggle with knowing what is the appropriate amount of presents to get for their children on Christmas.

We don't want to be Scrooge, but we don't want them to think Christmas is all about the presents.
We are excited to see their excitement, but we don't want to create spoiled brats or unrealistic expectations.
We feel embarrassed when we hear our friends are getting their kids a much nicer gift than we are, but we feel guilty when we realize that we're getting our kids a much nicer gift than another family.

I remember walking through Toys-R-Us last Christmas almost disgusted over the idea of getting more STUFF that they don't need and probably won't even play with in 2 months.

It good for every family to come up with some type of plan that works for them. A little structure to help them make decisions for what's appropriate to do for their kids for Christmas.

Some people set a dollar amount to limit their spending...so their kids might get one bigger present or 5 smaller ones, but the amount of money stays the same.

I have another friend who does 3 gifts per child per Christmas.

The latest idea that I heard (which I really like) is getting each child:

Something you want
Something you need
Something to wear
Something to read

What guidelines do you use to help you not get "The Crazies" when it comes to shopping for your kids?

Gingerbread Men Recipe

2011-12-17T17:45:00.000-08:00

I found a great recipe for Gingerbread Men that I wanted to share. Unfortunately, all of my gingerbread men got eaten before I remembered to take a picture, but they turned out really cute AND were yummy (unlike a lot of gingerbread men I've tasted). They are a little "spicy" and chewy instead of dry and hard. I used brown M&Ms for his eyes, green and red M&Ms for buttons, and red icing for a little flair on his arms and legs. Even my picky eater, Caedmon, loved them!

Enjoy!!

Eileen's Spicy Gingerbread Men- Allrecipes.com

Ingredients

1/2 cup margarine

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup molasses

1 egg yolk

2 cups sifted all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon ground cloves

1 teaspoon ginger

1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Directions

In a large bowl, cream together the margarine and sugar until smooth. Stir in molasses and egg yolk. Combine the flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves, ginger, and nutmeg; blend into the molasses mixture until smooth. Cover, and chill for at least one hour.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. On a lightly floured surface, roll the dough out to 1/4 inch thickness. Cut into desired shapes with cookie cutters. Place cookies 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheets.
Bake for 8 to 12 minutes (depending on the size cookie cutter that you use) in the preheated oven, until firm. Remove from cookie sheets to cool on wire racks. Frost or decorate when cool.

Still Alive...and Coming Up For Air!

2011-12-15T13:54:00.000-08:00

Every year about this time, no matter how hard I fight against it, I seem to take an unintentional Sabbatical from blogging. I wish I could say it was because I am taking this time to really focus on Jesus, to be still and quiet before Him as we remember and celebrate His birth. But alas, I have just been trying to stay afloat through the busyness of this month. I am typically the "early to bed, early to rise" type, but late nights have become my specialty as of late.

Anyone else out there been stuck in the spirit of, "Go! Go! Go! Merry Christmas!"

This week I went to the post office to ship 30 (THIRTY!) packages and about 120 letters. I'm pretty sure the only reason I didn't get cussed out by the long line of people behind me is because I had an adorable little Ethiopian boy dancing around, playing with his train, and wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. (Way to go, Sammy!)

But, I think I am (finally) about finished. Just a few minor details remain and the heavy weight of preparations that had to be made has been lifted. I have definitely been more of a Martha than a Mary this month, and I'm ready to make the switch. (Luke 10:38-42)

Leave me a comment to let me know one thing you do to help yourself stay focused on Jesus and keep a quiet heart during this season.

The Minivan Express

2011-12-05T14:57:00.001-08:00

I came across the coolest Christmas idea on this blog and had to pass it along to you!

Most of you are familiar with the children's book/movie The Polar Express, right? Well, this activity allows you to bring the book to life for your kiddos!

There are several different parts to the activity that can obviously be modified to fit your needs. So feel free to pick & choose to make it your own!

First step, make a Rudolf cup with your kiddos. All the steps are right here, but the finished product can look something like this:

2nd, click here to download some of these Golden Tickets.

3rd, research where there are some good Christmas lights in your area. In the South Bay area, Vasona Park in Los Gatos has a great display. Click here for more info.

4th, either read the book to your kiddos, watch the movie together, or take them to the Barnes & Noble story time this Friday, December 9 at 7 PM to be apart of the special reading of this book. Most Barnes & Noble's nationwide are participating in this event, I believe. (Unfortunately, Andy & I already have plans and won't be able to take the kiddos to the story time, but we'll read the book at home on a different night.)

5th, get your kids all ready for bed just like you would any other normal night. As they climb into bed, however, they will discover their Golden Ticket that you have snuck in there!! They are getting to go on an adventure!!

While one spouse "puts the kiddos to bed" the other spouse should be popping popcorn (to be placed in the Rudolf cups) and making hot chocolate (I'm putting our hot chocolate in sippy cups so as not to spill). Have the popcorn and hot chocolate waiting for them in The Minivan Express!

6th, As the kids climb in The Minivan Express, have the conductor punch the ticket and then enjoy a fun evening of viewing Christmas lights together as a family!

Please leave a comment to let me know if you do this with your family. I'm sure I'll post pictures later whenever we do this with ours!

The Other Side of the Story

2011-12-01T05:54:00.001-08:00

This week I shared a ton of pictures and fun Wood Family Adventures. Lest you think that our family time together is all smiles and laughter and nostalgic photographs, I thought I'd give you a peak at the "behind the scenes" of our vacation. The out-takes and bloopers, if you will.

The reality for most (probably all) of us is that our kids are not always adorable and cheerful. In fact, quite the opposite can be true. You may be in a season where it feels like you only catch glimpses of the adorable/cheerful side of your child and the majority of the time you find yourself struggling to maintain composure with the ornery/ungrateful/contrarian/defiant/highly-emotional-in-a-not-so-good-way side of your "sweet angel".

And that can suck the life out of anyone.

Caedmon has two polar opposite sides to his personality. One is all sweetness, tenderness, kisses, and laughter. And in those moments, I could just eat him with a spoon! It only takes a glimpse at this side of him to melt my hardest heart.

The other side to the Caedmon Coin is, well, quite different than that one. And the crazy thing is, you never know what you're going to get.

Our first night in Sacramento we went to get some pizza. A picture says a thousand words...

The attitude carried over to the next morning which required Andy & Caedmon to have some heart-to-heart time in our hotel bathroom...which was not the way we wanted to start our vacation.

On Wednesday afternoon when we got home from Sacramento (after spending 3 days at the zoo, Chuck-E-Cheese, children's museum, and Chick-Fil-A), Caedmon got upset about something and screamed, "I never get to do anything I want to do! I never do anything fun!"

As we were heading out the door to meet our friends for our Thanksgiving feast, Caedmon informed us that, "This is not what I had planned to do today."

A couple days ago, after spending the morning inside playing with and reading to the boys, I suggested we go outside to get some fresh air. Caedmon had a blast playing dodge ball with me, but then turned on a dime when I said let's ride our bikes to the playground. Screamed and cried the whole way there. It was so bad, in fact, that we actually just turned around and came back home where Caedmon had to play by himself in his room for an hour while Sammy and I played cars, trains, and puzzles.

I am not at all trying to make Caedmon out to be some horrible, no good, problem child. I would move mountains for that kid. I love him to pieces. And, after Caedmon spent an hour in his room, he was nothing but sweetness the rest of the day...well, until one more episode around 7:00.

You've been there, right? Every parent has. I remember when I was about 8 or 9 years old saying to my parents (in the middle of my birthday party that they had worked very hard to pull off) "This is the worst birthday party ever!"

What do you do in those moments? Do you yell, "You ungrateful spoiled brat!" Do you let it ruin the whole vacation or family time?

Andy & I are working very hard to think of consequences that speak loud and clear to the "offender" but don't hurt the rest of the family.

We're not going to stay home from some fun activity that we planned just because you have a bad attitude. But you will have to sit on the sidelines and watch instead of getting to participate in the fun when we get there.
We're not going to forgo dessert as a family just because you turned up your nose to the dinner I cooked. But you'll have to save your dessert for tomorrow once you've eaten a good meal.

The truth is, no matter how hard you try to minimize the fall-out, a bad attitude or bad behavior from one child does affect everyone else. It's really unavoidable to some extent.

But, as parents, we cannot allow their attitudes to dictate ours. That gives the child way too much power and control. Plus, it is our job to set the tone for our family. Sometimes that means you force yourself to laugh and have fun with your spouse/other child when you're boiling mad on the inside over whatever just happened with the "offender".

We have to hold the offender responsible instead of allowing the offender to hold the rest of the family hostage.

Once Upon a Christmas Tree

2011-11-30T13:22:00.001-08:00

Our final hoo-rah last week was a trip to the Santa Cruz mountains to cut down our Christmas tree. If you live in the Bay Area, this is where we went and had a great experience. We packed a picnic, drank some hot chocolate, and enjoyed the beautiful weather.

The rope swing was probably the highlight of the whole experience!

Sammy wasn't into the rope swing, but he was more than willing to pose for the camera. Ha! What a ham!

We got the tree in place that afternoon and were planning on saving the decorating for the next day. That night, Andy went to the Stanford football game with a couple friends. Not long after he left, Caedmon started throwing up. Poor guy. It was so sad (and gross). We went through quite a bit of carpet cleaner and three rounds of sheets & blankets that night.

When I finally got the boys to sleep, I thought it would be good to go ahead and put the lights on the tree. Much to my dismay, the hole tree fell over, dumping out all the water in the stand! Argh. I set the tree back up and began again. But I decided to wait for Andy's help because I could tell the tree was still rickety.

The next day, Andy helped me get the tree stabilized and we added the lights and ornaments. The boys and I were sitting on the carpet admiring the tree after I hung the last ornament, when TIMBER! The tree fell right on our heads! (My poor carpet!)

For all you parents trying to figure out how to get your young kids to stop touching the Christmas tree, there ya go. Just let it fall right on their little heads and I promise you they won't touch it with a ten foot pole!

The finished product.

All About the Kids

2011-11-29T13:39:00.001-08:00

We did NOT eat at Chick-fil-a 5 times in 3 days while in Sacramento. That would be gross. And embarrassing. And we were certainly NOT having personal conversations with the owner of the Chick-fil-a regarding our vacation activities, where we live, and when a Chick-fil-a may be opening in our area. No, that never happened. Not to us, at least...

Ok, moving right along.

One thing that Andy and I realized (remembered?) while away is that vacationing with young children requires the vacation to pretty much be all about them. Kids aren't really into extending reading sessions at a quiet Starbucks. Nice restaurants end up being more of a battle than its worth. And there's no such thing as taking it easy in the morning when the Littles are rarin' to go by 6:30.

So, you just gotta embrace the season and go with it...

After a morning at the zoo, we headed to Chuck-E-Cheese for the afternoon. Ten dollars in tokens can go along way. Caedmon and Sammy obviously had a great time, but what I did not get a picture of was Andy tearing it up at basketball. You know, the game where you stand about 3 feet in front of the 7 foot high hoop and start thinking you might be eligible for the NBA because you're just so darn acurate. Not sure how many tokens we invested in that game.

The next morning we headed over to the Sacramento Children's Museum. Can you tell which one is the monster in the picture below?

While the Children's Museum was highly entertaining for the kiddos, Andy and I felt a bit like puppy dogs tied on a leash with a 5 year old and 3 year old master. We just followed them around for a couple hours while they explored, discovered, and created. I would love to say that we were fully engaged and in awe of their little minds at work, but that would be a slight overstatement. I had my camera to entertain me while Andy used up the entire data plan for my phone in one morning. Just being honest, people!

They are pretty cute kids though, aren't they? And one day, they'll get to bless their own children with Chick-fil-a and Chuck-E-Cheese and Children's Museums. In the meantime, we're trying to make some memories and enjoy each moment in this phase of life.

And We're Back...

2011-11-28T14:02:00.001-08:00

Did ya miss me?

I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving week with your families and friends. I sure did! Andy took some time off last week and I thoroughly enjoyed not opening my computer in order to spend more time with him and the Littles. We did a lot of fun stuff, so this week you will be receiving a picture overload.

Consider yourself warned!

We took a little trip to Sacramento just to "get away" for a few days. When people found out we were vacationing in Sacramento without any family there or meetings or reason for going there, the response was always the same... "Really? Vacationing in Sacramento?" Ummm, yes.

It really is a pretty cool place. The leaves actually change color there unlike in the Bay Area. There's lots to do for kids. And, perhaps the number one reason to vacation in Sacramento, they have a Chick-fil-a!

The following are pictures of why little boys need a dad (or someone "fun") in their lives. As we walked to the entrance of the zoo, we passed through a park covered in fallen leaves. Andy started making a pile for the boys to jump in. I'm not sure that thought would have even crossed my mind walking through the park. I would have admired how pretty the leaves were, maybe even tried to force my boys to walk hand in hand down the path surrounded by fall leaves so I could get a few snap shots, but I don't think I would have thought to do this...

And that would be Reason #482 that Dad out-awesomes me every time!

Oh, I just love it when I catch a shot of Caedmon's sweet face. He normally tries to hide it from me but every once in a while, I get one! I thought you might pass on all of my shots of the animals. Stay tuned tomorrow for more on our Thanksgiving week!

A little break...

2011-11-21T10:20:00.001-08:00

This week I'm going to take a bit of a break from my blog to enjoy some extra time with my family. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures to share with you next week. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

An Adoption Interview

2011-11-19T13:50:00.001-08:00

November is Adoption Awareness Month and I did an interview on another blog to shed some light on our adoption. Click here to check it out.

An Unlikely Friendship

2011-11-17T14:01:00.001-08:00

On the way to preschool today, Caedmon and I were discussing the first Thanksgiving. I explained to him how the Pilgrims had moved to North America and how things weren't going well for them. They didn't have enough food, people were getting sick, many had died, and winter was coming. If the Native Americans hadn't helped them out, it's possible that all or most of the Pilgrims could have died that winter.

But, I told Caedmon, the most interesting part is that the Native Americans and Pilgrims weren't really friends. In fact, they were kinda like enemies. They were both really scared of each other, scared that the other might kill them. It was an extremely kind gesture for the Native Americans to offer help to the Pilgrims. Courageously kind.

Caedmon and I talked about how there are some people that we just naturally get along with, like his best-buddy Kaden that he met the first day of preschool this year. As soon as they met, they became inseparable.

But there are other people who we don't naturally get along with. Those are the people it takes courage to be kind to. I prayed for him as we drove that God would help him to have the courage to be kind to someone today, just like the Native Americans were kind to the Pilgrims.

I wonder who is in your life that is difficult for you to love. Thanksgiving is typically a time we think about getting together with people who we love and enjoy. And there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. But maybe God wants you to forge an unlikely friendship this week. Maybe there is someone to whom you need to be courageously kind. What is one gesture of kindness (big or small) that you could do for that person this week?

The Christmas Story from Joseph's Perspective

2011-11-15T07:43:00.001-08:00

Every time I read the Nativity Story from the book of Matthew, I am always struck by the same thing: the obedience of Joseph. Matthew records 4 different dreams that Joseph had over a 3-4 year period, each with a divine message.

Marry your pregnant fiancé.
Flee to Egypt.
Time to come back to Israel.
Don't settle in Judea.

Each dream was met with immediate obedience. There's no record of Joseph trying to bargain with God or asking for further clarification. The Bible makes it seem that it's as if he woke up from the dream and did whatever the the instructions were instantly...even in the middle of the night if needed.

There is no way that Joseph could have fully understood the significance of each of those decisions. He didn't have the 2000 year hindsight perspective that we have. Most likely he didn't grasp the fact that the Messiah's life and plan for the salvation of mankind was hanging in the balance. If he hadn't obeyed each of those for divine messages:

Mary may have been stoned to death while pregnant with Jesus
Herod may have killed Jesus as a baby in Bethlehem
Jesus may have gotten accustomed to life in Egypt & not grown up w the very people for whom He was sent
Herod's son, Archelaus, may have killed Jesus in Judea

Now I fully believe in the Sovereignty of God and I believe that nothing would have thwarted God's plan for salvation through His son, Jesus Christ. If Joseph had chosen not to obey, deliverance would have arisen from another source.

BUT, Joseph did obey!

He got to be part of the story. Part of the divine plan. Part of restoration of mankind to relationship with God. All because he obeyed the instructions given to him.

You may not feel like much is hanging in the balance when it comes to your decision whether or not to obey God. What difference will it really make if you don't give that money you felt prompted to give, or if you don't maintain purity in your relationship with your boyfriend, or if you don't reconcile that broken relationship?

What we can't see from here is the 2000 year hindsight perspective of our own lives. We have no idea the rippling effects that every decision in our lives has. Each choice we make builds on the previous choice, and it is creating the person we are layer by layer. With each decision we are taking a step, either down this path or that one.

Your obedience to God is much more significant than what it seems from here. Even when the instructions don't make sense from your perspective, trust God's perspective enough to obey right away.

Monday Matrimony: What Does God Think About Sex?

2011-11-14T10:14:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I posted an edition of "Monday Matrimony", so I thought I'd just start off the week by shocking everyone with a great post about sex! Who doesn't love a little Monday morning sex?! :-)

I am currently reading "What's It Like To Be Married To Me?" with two different groups of friends. I am loving this book and loving that I need to read each chapter twice (since one group is ahead of the other, not because I'm that dense, ahem). Reading it twice really solidifies the chapter themes in my mind.

The book is intended to help wives take a hard look at themselves as wives and ask tough questions that lead to practical growth.

Last week the title of the chapter was, "What is it like to make love with me?" Well, if that's not a question every small group is just bursting to talk about, I don't know what is! I'm glad my discussion group was with two very close friends!

Linda Dillow does a beautiful job describing the type of intimacy that God desires and intends for a husband and wife to enjoy. She tells stories of various women who hated/ resented/ or simply endured sex and how they found their paths to freedom. Women who had been abused. Women who had a background of sexual sin. Women who had abortions. Women whose view of intimacy was all but ruined by Hollywood. Women who had the courage to take God at His word, do the hard work or renewing their minds, and start believing that their intimacy with their husbands could be so much richer than what they were experiencing.

Linda says,

Lovemaking can be playful and fun, and it can be intense, with tears of deep release and emotion. Incredibly, it can create a child and bring oneness or great physical pleasure. It can bring comfort and release tension. Sex is God's gift to His people. Enjoy His gift. Use it wisely, use it freely- and use it often.

It breaks my heart to know that many (most?) women are not experiencing that type of exhilarating, intoxicating, unifying intimacy with their husbands. You were never intended to simply endure sex.

No matter where you are today in your relationship with your spouse, please know that it can absolutely get better. God can heal any wound and restore any brokenness in your life or in your marriage. Believe Him for that. Do the hard work of pursuing that. You will never regret it! Your marriage is worth the effort.

Two ideas to get you started:

Order (and read!) Linda's awesome book. If you apply every concept in this book, your marriage will be richly blessed. Click here to go to the link.
Find a friend to discuss the book with. It's always nice if you're able to find a woman who is a little more mature than you spiritually to talk with. But it works with any friend who honestly wants a thriving marriage and is willing to grow.

A Masterpiece

2011-11-12T13:58:00.001-08:00

Every night as I put the boys to bed I sing them this song. They both lay there in their bunk beds, sometimes singing along, sometimes being rowdy and not paying attention, sometimes half asleep.

Last night was particularly special as Caedmon was out with Andy so I put Sammy to sleep by himself. Instead of singing to him as he laid in bed, I held him in my arms...his head on my shoulder and arms and legs holding on like a monkey. I love to feel Sammy's love. And to feel him receive my love. It wasn't long ago (only a few months really) that he would squirm to get out of my arms if I ever tried to hold him this way. But now he melts in my arms and loves to be held. As I sang these words over him last night, I prayed that God would allow the meaning to penetrate deep into his soul and that he would know that he truly is a beautiful, priceless masterpiece.

Before you had a name
Or opened up your eyes

Or anyone could recognize your face,
You were being formed so delicate inside.
Secluded in God's safe and hidden place.

With your little tiny hands, and little tiny feet,
And little eyes that shimmer like a pearl.

He breathed in you His song,
and to make it all complete
He brought the masterpiece into the world.

You are a masterpiece.
A new creation He has formed
And you're as soft and fresh as a snowy winter morn.
And I'm so glad that God has given you to me.
Little lamb from God, you are a masterpiece.

A Taste of the South

2011-11-09T14:38:00.000-08:00

My mom grew up in the South. The deep South. We're talking the "Delta of Mississippi" South. Where the tidy rows of cotton fields stretch as far as your eyes can see and the selling price of a bale of cotton determines what kind of Christmas you'll have. If you have read the popular book, The Help, you have a picture of some of the things that were common in my mom's growing up years. My mom's family did have "Help", and let me clear, she was dearly loved and well taken care of. She was a valuable part of the family and worked for them from the time my mother was a child until I was a teenager. My grandmother and Mary Lee worked side by side in running the Dunaway household and there were plenty of things (my grandmother would readily admit) that Mary Lee did even better than her!

While there may be some things that could be criticized about the deep South in Mississippi, there is a way of life so thick with culture and tradition that it demands a little appreciation and admiration. Like the fact that an 8 year old girl would know how to properly set a table with fine china, crystal, linen napkins, and REAL silverware. Or that women would often get together to play a game of bridge at 3 in the afternoon. Or that it's not uncommon to plan the dinner for your own funeral before you die, making sure everything (especially the deviled eggs) are assigned to someone's care. You may not care about these things, but once you have seen it and experienced it, there is something to appreciate about it.

One thing that the South knows how to do is COOK! Not so much the "Cooking Light" or Weight Watchers version of cooking. But if you want to find some good 'ol comfort food to warm your soul, Southern Food is the way to go. The South...where macaroni and cheese is categorized as a vegetable. Where no meal is complete without at least one casserole. Where everything tastes better with cheese or barbecue sauce. And where it would be seen as absolutely rude (and unheard of) to end a meal without some type of dessert.

On that note, I would like to share with you my Grandmother Dunaway's Deluxe Pound Cake, straight from Hollandale, Mississippi. Please do not post a comment informing me of how many calories this one recipe contains. :-) Just bake it and blindly enjoy it! Think of it as a lesson in Southern Culture...

Grandmother's Deluxe Pound Cake

(Let butter and eggs get to room temperature.)

Cream:
2 sticks butter
3 cups sugar
1/2 cup Crisco

Add:
5 whole eggs (1 at a time)
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. rum flavoring
1 tsp. coconut flavoring

Sift:
3 cups flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. baking powder

Alternate adding to the batter the flour mixture and 1 cup of milk until all is added.

Pour in greased and floured tube pan or 2 loaf pans. Bake 90 minutes (or so) at 300 degrees.

Optional glaze once cake is cooled:
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup water
1 tsp. almond flavoring

Serve with a dollop of Cool Whip and some fresh cut strawberries!

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

2011-11-08T14:57:00.000-08:00

My college roommate (and one of my best friends in the whole world), Kendall, is expecting her first baby! To celebrate, some of the South Bay staff girls threw Kendall a shower this past weekend. Sanli, who is not officially on staff but might as well be, opened her home for the party. I gotta be honest, throwing parties like this typically isn't my cup of tea. But I had a great time helping with this one as it was, to me, an expression of my love & excitement for Kendall.

Get ready for picture overload because you know I have to show off all of our hard work!

The fabric for the tablecloth is the fabric Kendall chose for her nursery.

That's where we got the theme for this shower.

We had lots of hostesses that each contributed something special!

Kendall's mom SURPRISED her by flying in from Alabama for the shower.

Oh, how I love a good surprise!!!

So full of joy!

A special prayer of blessing for a special new mom!

A Day of Celebration

2011-11-07T16:27:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was one of those days that I thought to myself, "I am so thankful to be a part of the work God is doing through South Bay Church." It was an amazing day with over 850 people in attendance and 33 baptisms! No matter what word pictures I tried to write in this post, nothing would be able to recreate the excitement, energy, and sense of God's presence that was there yesterday.

Andy gave a challenge for anyone who had made a decision to follow Jesus but had not yet been baptized to take that step of obedience at the end of each service. Some people had come prepared to be baptized that day. Many decided on the spot. Some pumped their fists with excitement. Some climbed in that baptismal pool with a tear-streaked face. But no matter what, each person's baptism was celebrated with cheering, clapping, whistling, and such joyful laughter that it would cause unsuspecting tears to spring in your eyes.

In keeping with the theme of celebration, we had a trash-can drumline join the worship band on stage during one of the songs. They were incredible!

At the end of Andy's message, we watched the powerful video of Tien's story. Tien is a 17 year old who has been attending South Bay for 6 or 7 months now. I'll let her tell her own story...

I've watched that video at least 4 times now, and the line that always puts a lump in my throat is when she says that she's sad that her decision to follow Jesus has caused some division in her family but she says, "I know that I still love them, and I know that God is doing something new in me." Yes He is, Tien! The old has gone and the NEW has come. You are a beautiful new creation and I am so excited to see all that God continues to do in your life as you grow in Him!

Teamwork

2011-11-01T14:44:00.000-07:00

This week Andy and I have been pulling off some major teamwork.

Poor Caedmon came down with the flu last Wednesday, has had fever as high as 104, and is still running a low-grade fever today making it a full 7 days. He has been quite a trooper. Sore throat, wretched cough, a little vomiting and the other stuff, plus a couple trips to the doctor... Nothing hurts a mama's (or daddy's) heart more than to see your little one hurt.

The boys and I have pretty much been quarantined at home for the past week as we are trying not to share our germs with the rest of the Silicon Valley. But quarantining a perfectly healthy 3-year old who already has boundless energy is a tall order. That's where the teamwork has come in.

I mentioned in my birthday letter to Sammy that we ended up having to call off Sammy's party and go to Plan B because of Caedmon's sickness. Both boys took it in stride without too much disappointment. Andy still took Sammy to Chuck-E-Cheese for the morning and Sammy thought it was extra special because he got to spend that time ALONE with Daddy.

Andy also took Sammy to church with him on Sunday while Caedmon and I cuddled on the couch. Another great outing for him.

But then there was Halloween. I thought for sure Caedmon would be better by Halloween. After all, that was Day 6! But no, his fever was still 101.

One of the Santos kiddos (Cailyn) was having a birthday party last night in conjunction with Halloween. The boys had been looking forward to it, but we didn't feel good about Caedmon exposing everyone else to his sickness. So once again, Super Andy flies to the rescue, and takes Caedmon out for some special boys time together. They got a milk shake, hit up a few houses for trick-or-treating, and came home early to watch a movie. Sammy & I went to the birthday party and trick-or-treating with those friends. At the end of the night, both boys felt loved and had a great time.

Buzz Lightyear & Optimus Prime

This is Caedmon's "I feel like crap but I don't want to miss out on trick-or-treating" face.

This morning I thought Caedmon's fever was gone so I was going to try to run a couple errands with the boys because we are down to half a roll of toilet paper and one diaper. Everyone was dressed and ready but then Caedmon had a major meltdown. I think the thought of having to run errands was too much for him. Right at that moment Andy called. I said to him (in a shaky voice), "I don't know what to do. There are a few places that I really need to go." And so Andy (once again) put on his cape and helped me come up with a plan of how we could tag-team it and get it all done. I have one awesome husband!

Today I'm so thankful that:

Sammy, Andy, & I have somehow avoided this bug
I have an awesome husband who is willing to be a team player
the director maintenance for our apartments just came by to fix something and randomly asked, "When's the last time the leasing office had your carpets cleaned?" Uh, never! "Have you ever asked them?" Yup. And we get denied. "I'll send a team over on Monday to clean them for you!" Ahhhh, Peter! You just made my week!!!

The timing could not have been more perfect because I was literally about to change into some cleaning clothes and start steam cleaning my carpets durning nap time today. YAY!

Beware of the Ghost!

2011-10-31T14:26:00.000-07:00

My kids always do the funniest things right when they wake up. And it's even funnier when I think, "Why in the world was that the first thing that popped into your mind this morning?"

The other morning Sammy came stumbling out with his blanket draped over his head pretending to be a ghost. But instead of saying, "Boooo!" he kept saying, "Moooo!" Then he ripped the blanket off his head and said, "Scare you?" Oh, yes, Sammy. I was terrified!

So, we have a slightly confused cow on the loose who is hoping to get lots of candy tonight for Halloween. Hope you have a Spooky Day!

Happy Birthday, Sammy!

2011-10-29T12:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Sammy,

We celebrated your 3rd birthday yesterday, not quite in the fashion that we had planned. Your brother ended up with a 103 fever so we had to call off the picnic to Alum Rock park that we had organized. But, true to form, you never complained. Your daddy sure did enjoy getting to spend the morning with you at Chuck-E-Cheese and Caedmon & I were happy to get to participate in the family birthday party we had around our kitchen table. You said in your precious little voice, "My bert-day. I like it." You are the happiest, most playful child I have ever known.

As I think back over this past year, I am astounded by how much has changed since we celebrated your 2nd birthday. This time last year, you were so scared and unsure of your surroundings. You never wanted to be farther than a few feet from me or Daddy. Back then, you cried about as much as you laugh now, and you laughed about as much as you cry now. The tables have turned.

The timidity that held you captive has been replaced by confidence and boldness. No more peeling you off me like a monkey when it's time to go to BayKids on Sunday. Now you typically run ahead of me to get there and march in with a swagger like you own the place. Not a week goes by without one of the BayKids' volunteers telling me what a fun and adorable kid you are. It seems that you have captured more hearts than just mine.

Sammy, last year at this time I was in a world of mess with my emotions. I was sleep deprived, being followed everywhere by a screaming two year old, and pouring out my life for a child that I felt I didn't know but who, strangely, belonged to me. I was grieving my own set of losses as our family was catapulted from a relatively peaceful and well-adjusted family of 3 to a chaotic tailspinning family of 4. There were so many nights that I cried myself to sleep, wondering if I would ever feel like your mother...If I would ever love you the way you deserve to be loved. I knew in my mind that you were so precious to God and that you were handpicked for our family, but it felt like I was trying to love a stranger, a stranger that didn't like me very much most of the time.

I've now had over 14 months to get to know you and we are building a wealth of memories together. I now know that you have a big appetite at dinner but barely pick at your breakfast. I know having something to dip it in always makes food more enticing. I know that you have boundless energy, running and hopping your way through life. I know it makes you mad when I pick out your hair. And I know it takes much less discipline to break your tender heart than it does Caedmon's. It is hard to remember what life was like before you were in our family. Having you feels so natural now, and the thought of you not being in our family feels so horribly unnatural. You are my child. I feel it so deeply in my bones now.

It fills up my heart to overflowing when you lay on my chest with your arms and legs wrapped tightly around my body. Sometimes you'll lay like that 10 or 15 minutes and it causes your daddy and me think that you're making up for lost time.

It is a beautiful thing to watch love grow. What began as our dream to love you turned into our decision to love you, not just with words but with actions (even in the moments that feelings were hard to come by). And that decision, lived out day in and day out in faithfulness to God and to our commitment to you, has given room for the roots of love to go down deep, blossoming into a life-giving relationship. I hope that you never doubt how deeply you are loved. Loving you is not an obligation. It is not something I do because I signed some paperwork. I couldn't keep myself from loving you if I tried. You are a part of me.

Sammy, your courage and resiliance in overcoming hardship will take you places that few people are able to tarry. No one wants their life to be marked with pain and difficulties, and the fear that it will holds many back from living their most courageous life. I pray that one day you will look back at all the things you overcame the first 3 years of your life and it will inspire you to live boldly, knowing that God has given you strength and resilience to face the most challenging of circumstances. You are an overcomer.

Thank you for greeting me each morning with that mischievous grin and a few quick Tigger jumps. Thank you for confidently believing that everyone thinks you are as funny and as adorable as YOU believe yourself to be. Thank you for forgiving me and giving me me another chance to love you when I have not loved you as I should. Thank you for the laughter and playfulness that you bring to the mundane and monotony of life.

I am so, indescribably thankful for the gift of you. Happy 3rd Birthday, my precious Son. You are loved beyond words.

Chocolate Passion Bowl

2011-10-26T14:40:00.000-07:00

Hello, Chocolate lovers everywhere! If you have never tried this dessert you are missing out. This is what I served to our Life Group last week.

Chocolate Passion Bowl (by KraftRecipes.com)

Ingredients:
2 pkg (3.9 oz each) JELL-O chocolate instant pudding
3 cups cold milk
1 tub (8 oz) cool whip, thawed and divided (I used 2 tubs)
1 baked batch of brownies (cooled & cut into bite size pieces)
2 cups fresh raspberries (substituting with strawberries is not NEARLY as good)

Instructions:

Beat pudding mixes and milk with a whisk for 2 minutes. Stir in 1 cup of Cool Whip.
Place half the brownies in 2 qt bowl. Cover with layers of half each: pudding, cool whip, berries. Repeat.
Refrigerate 1 hour.

Spa Day!

2011-10-25T14:04:00.000-07:00

Before last Friday, I had never been to a Day Spa. I've had a few massages (2 in foreign countries), but I'd never been somewhere that you can stay as long as you'd like to enjoy the amenities. My sweet friend, Dawn, wanted to plan something special as her gift to me for my birthday. I thought we were doing a girls' lunch, but she called me 2 days before and said, "Nope! We're going to the spa!"

WOW! It was so nice. And I'm pretty sure we all could have enjoyed staying a lot longer to lounge around in the hot tub, sauna, misting room, etc... The best part was enjoying it all with 5 of my closest friends. This will be a memory that I treasure for a very long time!

Ok, ok, I promise no more 30th birthday posts! I had one incredible birthday, huh? So, so blessed.

Girls' Weekend in SF

2011-10-24T14:54:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my amazing husband (and the husbands of these other 3 gals) my sisters, mom, and I had a AWESOME girls' weekend in SF. My sister-in-love, Laura, had never been to San Francisco before, so it was fun giving her the tour.

Here are a few of my favorite shots with brief explanations under each...

This picture was taken just moments after they surprised me by showing up at the restaurant where Andy & I were enjoying my birthday date. We were all so giddy! After a delicious dinner at Tamarine in Palo Alto, and then stuffing ourselves with cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, we spent the night at our apartment in San Jose before heading up to SF the next morning.

First stop: Golden Gate Bridge, of course! It was the clearest, sunniest,

and warmest (maybe even hot) day that I have EVER been to the city.

Then we enjoyed lunch at a waterfront restaurant in Sausalito followed by a little

browsing the shops and then an ice cream break at Bi-Rite Creamery.

We drove down Lombard Street on our way to our hotel. After checking in and freshening up,

we headed out for dinner. Andy had made reservations for us at the Cliff House. The walls of

this restaurant are pretty much all glass and it overlooks the Pacific. We were there for sunset,

and there is nothing like a Pacific Sunset.

After staying up way too late talking that night, we got up the next morning and headed to the

Farmers' Market at the Ferry Building. My sister-in-love was in heaven and declared that if

she lived in SF, she would be there every Saturday to buy her fresh produce for the week.

It was a cool (but slightly overwhelming) experience for me.

Then we headed back to Pier 39 for our windblown picture of Alcatraz and a peak

at the sea lions basking in the sun. We stopped for some good ol' clam chowder and

San Francisco's famous sour dough bread at Boudin.

We enjoyed an awesome dinner that night at McCormick & Schmick's overlooking the bay and

the Golden Gate Bridge. Then we walked over to Ghirardelli Square for yet another dessert.

Did I mention that we ate a lot of dessert (and food in general) this weekend?! Look at my

ridiculously excited smile as I'm about to kill that chocolate brownie sundae with mint ice cream!

The best part of the weekend was the conversation that we carried on from a restaurant to a coffee shop, back to our hotel room and then back out on the town again. It was the most "talk time" that I've gotten with them in a looooong time. My sister suggested that we each take turns sharing how we were doing physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It was such a great way to frame our discussions because it really covered all the bases of what is going on in our lives at a deeper level.

This weekend will be one of those memories that I carry with me always. I am so thankful for our time together and so thankful to have a family that truly loves each other and enjoys time together!

Birthday Rewind

2011-10-20T09:37:00.000-07:00

I believe I may be one of the most blessed people in the whole world. This 30th birthday of mine was so much more than what I had ever dreamed. After a couple weeks of feeling a little fried and emotionally frazzled, I am back feeling reenergized, cherished, and thankful.

There is no way to count the amount of hours that Andy put into preparing for this birthday surprise. He started planning it back in March and has a full page document of all of the "to-do's". With the help of friends and family, Andy planned a surprise party, edited a video of birthday wishes sent in from friends & family, researched a perfect date restaurant, coordinated with my mom & sisters to fly in for the girls' weekend, made hotel reservations, and on and on and on...

Two things that were really meaningful to me:

Andy has been wanting to get me a new computer for quite some time. He always talks about how bad mine sucks and he wanted to buy me a Mac. But, Mac's are expensive. So he started saving with the intention of buying one for my birthday. 3 weeks before my birthday, Filipe was having a conversation with a friend who was selling his very nice MacBook Air. Fi told him he should talk to Andy because Andy might want to buy it from him. Our friend said, "Really? Well, I'll just give it to him." WHAT?!?! That's right! Our friend GAVE us a computer that is nicer than anything we would have bought. Amazing.
At our dinner date last Thursday, Andy had prepared three handwritten cards. The first was sitting on our table with a dozen roses when we arrived. He gave me the second card with the computer gift. The final card took my breath away. When I opened it there was a huge stack of cash. The card explained that he wanted me to have this money to pay for our Girls' Weekend in SF. It was all the money that he had earned from doing his coaching network. Even now, the gift brings tears to my eyes. It was one of those gifts that is so sacrificial that you almost feel awkward accepting. But Andy had such joy in giving it to me. He said that it was one of the reasons he decided to do the coaching network. I thought back over the last 6 months and all the hours he had put into preparing for his coaching network each month. Little did I know, all the while he was doing this in part to be a blessing to me. Wow.

I never expected ANY of this. A dinner date with Andy and a girls' lunch with a couple friends would have been plenty for me to feel loved and celebrated on my birthday. The thought and planning that Andy put into this spoke such love to me. He sacrificed a lot of time, a lot of money, and a lot of energy into making this the best birthday of my life.

Two nights ago we were laying in bed, his arm wrapped around me. And he said, "I don't think you have any clue how much I love you." It was the last thing he said before he fell asleep. I laid there listening to him breathe and thanked God for the amazing privilege of being married to Andy Wood.

What can you do today, large or small, to sacrificially love your spouse?

Happy Birthday to ME!!!!

2011-10-14T10:06:00.000-07:00

Last night at dinner, Andy showed me a video he had prepared with messages from friends and family. The final message was from my sister and my mom. They said that Andy had been working so hard to make this birthday special for me. As he thought about what is most meaningful to me, he knew family is what matters most. So they told me (in the video) to turn around. This is what happened...

YAY!!!! Girls weekend in SF! Andy is taking care of the kiddos and we are headed up for a weekend in the city. Thank you SO MUCH, Andy, Dad, Steve, & Kevin for making this happen. We are going to enjoy every minute of this!!!

Top 29 Memories from my 29th Year

2011-10-13T15:59:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day to be a 20-something. Tomorrow I will join the ranks with all of you who are already "old"! In just a couple hours, my best friend will be coming home to take me out on a date to celebrate my birthday. But before that, I wanted to reflect a little on all that has taken place in my life this past year. Here are my Top 29 Memories from my 29th Year:

1- Surprising Andy with a skydiving adventure for his 30th birthday. Skydiving was one of the most fun and thrilling things I've ever done! (Besides marrying Andy Wood, of course!)

2- I realized this week that 4 of my "nearest and dearest" (Andy, Filipe, Mandy & Kendall) were all there to celebrate my 20th birthday ten years ago at Charleston Southern University and they were here to celebrate my 30th with me this week. Friendships like that don't come along everyday and I thank God for blessing me with these long term, go-the-distance type friends. I pray we'll be celebrating birthdays together for many decades to come.

3- Cutting down our first live Christmas tree as a family...a new family tradition. Experiencing Christmas with Sammy for the first time.

4- My parents visit in December for an early Christmas last year. Strolling through "Christmas in the Park" in downtown San Jose together. Watching Sammy follow Caedmon's lead in how much he should adore these Grandparents of his.

5- South Bay's Christmas Eve service- the Snuggie video and the "Come Home" segment were my favorite parts.

6- Watching our various family members meet Sammy for the first time

7- Sledding and building a snowman in Michigan with Andy's family. This was Sammy's first time to see snow!

8- Caedmon saved his money for months to buy a Pillow Pet- first "big" purchase with his own money. I was so proud of him as we went to the mall that day to pick it out. I felt like it was great lesson in delayed gratification.

9- Valentine festivities- I'm not sure what came over me, but I got really into Valentine's Day this past year and had a lot of fun doing it...I guess it's never a bad idea to celebrate the people we love so much!

10- Andy surprised me by sending me to the CatWest conference in SoCal with a bunch of folks from South Bay while he stayed home with the boys. It was such a fun trip and a refreshing conference.

11- Most days Caedmon wears at least one costume and typically multiple. People have realized that he has a huge imagination and loves to dress up, so we have been the recipients of many-a-costume gifts. I think it's adorable.

12- Watching Andy's leadership/influence continue to grow and expand. He hosted a "Church Planters' Think Tank" and a coaching network this year and has had a great response to both. He has SO MUCH wisdom to share when it comes to starting a church and I'm so proud of him for being diligent to invest that knowledge into others for further Kingdom impact.

13- Having Andy's brother, Dalton, visit us for his spring break

14- Being blown away by South Bay's Easter services this year with over 1000 people in attendance.

15- Watching Caedmon learned to ride his bike without training wheels. He worked so hard for so long at this. The day he finally got it was a huge celebration!

16- Celebrating my parents 40th anniversary with a week of family vacation at the beach in South Carolina. It was such a meaningful time together as a family and with the physical distance that separates us, we never take those times for granted.

17- Finding out that my brother and sister-in-law are expected their first long awaited baby. And it's a GIRL...first in our family! You should have seen my reaction when they announced it. I couldn't stop jumping up and down and squealing and Andy couldn't stop laughing at me.

18- Two day getaway to Half Moon Bay to celebrate our 8th anniversary. This year I feel like our marriage has gone to a whole new level. It is such a JOY to be married to my very best friend and the person I would rather spend time with than any other person in the world. I cherish these occasions when we're able to get some time alone together.

19- Speaking at South Bay on Mother's Day- I shared about some gut-wrenching lessons in motherhood I've been learning over the last year...this has been the year of extreme motherhood for me, taking me to limits I never knew before.

20- Developing South Bay's first international partnership with a church in Ethiopia through Compassion International. I have a HUGE heart for international missions and I am SO excited that South Bay is going to be involved with such an amazing church and group of leaders in Ethiopia. When Andy boarded that plane to Ethiopia, my heart was aching to be with him and I can hardly wait until the boys are old enough for us to go there together!

21- Preparing gift to send to our Compassion child, Yohannis. While Andy was in Ethiopia, he had the awesome privilege of getting to meet him and his mother. Caedmon, Sammy, & I had prepared special gifts and pictures for Andy to give them. Caedmon included a few of his own toy cars in the package.

22- Watching a dozen godly pastors/church planters lay hands on Caedmon to pray prayers of blessing on his life the day of Caedmon's preschool graduation. I don't know what God has in store for that child, but I believe with all my heart that it is something amazing. In moments like this one, it is so real and tangible to me.

23- Having Kennedy live with us for 3 weeks in July. The boys felt like they had a big sister and miss her dearly. She was such a joy to have around!

24- Experiencing Kid's Games first hand...I was surprised by how much fun I had while leading a small group of girls for that week. Caedmon and Sammy had a blast, too! GO RED CUBS!

25- Celebrating our first "Gotcha Day" as a family. This was the very special one year mark of when Sammy joined our family. SO MUCH has happened this year and it is amazing to me to think back on how far we've come. I can barely remember life before Sammy. He is such a valuable and precious part of the Wood family.

26- One thing that really rocked my world this year was getting to catch up with some old friends from Charleston, Kelley & Erik Shamblin, while they were out here on vacation, followed by their discovery the next day that their 8 year old son, Luke, has leukemia. I pray for Luke every single day at 10 AM...my cell phone alarm is set to remind me.

27- Hiking in Lake Tahoe with Andy's family. So, so beautiful. 4 year old Caedmon whined the whole way about hating hiking and Andy ended up carrying him for most of the hike. 2 year old Sammy, on the other hand, insisted "I do it! I do it!" and walked the entire 2 miles almost completely unassisted!

28- Putting so much love and energy into Caedmon's 5 year old Star Wars birthday party.

29- If I had to only pick one theme for this past year of my life, it would have to do something with being stretched as a mom. God has grown me, strengthened my character, revealed sin in my heart that I never knew was there, and taught me how to depend on Him every single minute for strength, wisdom, peace, and hope. I love my two boys with all of my heart and I know that God is going to use their lives in awesome ways to advance His kingdom. I try to maintain that mile-high view of mothering, but this year has been lived in the trenches. This growth process has been a painful one for me, sometimes requiring more than I feel like I'm capable of giving. But God is so faithful. These trials have not only drawn me closer to Jesus, but has created such a bond of teamwork between Andy and me. I appreciate him SO MUCH as an incredible dad to our boys. His strength, perspective, and support has given me the courage to keep investing my heart and soul into being the very best mom that I can be.

So long, 20's! 30's, here I come!!!

Pumpkin Cake

2011-10-12T13:45:00.000-07:00

In honor of Pumpkin Season, I felt like it was high-time to bust out with a little Pumpkin Cake for our Life Group last night. I think it was a huge hit! This recipe is really simple and turns out perfect every single time!

Cake:

2 cups sugar

4 eggs

1.5 cups vegetable oil
1 teaspoon salt

2 teaspoons baking soda

3 teaspoons cinnamon
1.5 cups pumpkin
2 cups flour

Beat together. Pour into a greased and floured cake pan. (I use a bundt pan, but it's beautiful in two or three circle pans that you can stack once baked.) Bake @ 350 degrees for about 45 minutes. (Cook time depends on the type of pan you use.)

Icing:

1 cup soft butter

8 oz. cream cheese

1 box powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

Wait until the cake is completely cool to ice.

Pumpkin Season

2011-10-11T14:41:00.000-07:00

One of the highlights of my fall is taking the boys to a Pumpkin Patch. I think Andy & I may look forward to it even more than they do! There's something about all of the colors that is mesmerizing to me: bright orange pumpkins, bright green corn stalks, bright blue sky, ahhhh. So nice! Not to mention perfect weather (mid-70's with abundant sunshine) and the beautiful mountains gracing the horizon. There are some really great Pumpkin Patches out here in the Bay area. This year we went to Uesugi Farm down in Morgan Hill.

The corn maze had touch & feel boards to teach kids different facts about bees.

Caedmon's hugs are slightly akin to a headlock.

Notice how happy Caedmon looks and that Sammy is a little distressed!

My Ethiopian cowboy!

Such a pretty lil' thing!

I love the look on Sammy's face! He was trying to smile, but was a little freaked out

by all the noises the train was making! He had a good time once we got going, though.

We babysat the Santos kids that night so we had a pumpkin decorating party.

Efraim just chilled at the train table (top left corner). :-)

This was one of about 20 shots trying to get them both looking at the camera

and showing off their pumpkin. Someone was always jumping or had a pumpkin

in their face or was turned around or... Really guys? How hard can this be?!

So, please excuse the blurry, grainy picture taken on my phone!

Trapped?

2011-10-10T15:16:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel trapped?

Trapped in a job? Trapped in a relationship? Trapped in a season of life?

Last Thursday I wrote about my not-so-good day. Truth be told, it was kinda a not-so-good week. Nothing particularly out of the ordinary or horrible happened, I just lost my rhythm and emotions piled up. I started feeling trapped.

Trapped by the amount of work that is required just to maintain status quo in my life (laundry, meal preparation, finances, caring for daily needs of children, etc...). Trapped by the limited amount of "alone time" I get (to get a haircut, do office work, go shopping for clothes for me, etc...). Trapped by the reality that we are working within a budget that has limits which are often tighter than desires.

It's so strange to me how some weeks I feel great about life. I feel (somewhat) organized and on top of things. I feel motivated and encouraged by the things I'm able to get accomplished. I enjoy the calling of being a stay-at-home mom and even feel a little guilty about how relaxing it is to take the boys to the pool or the playground for an afternoon while I chat with friends. The sky is blue. The flowers are in bloom. And I'm doing alright.

Then, for whatever reason, my perspective on life takes a nose dive and I loose all sense of gratitude and joy and contentment. Instead of singing and whistling throughout the day I hear myself barking at my kids. Instead of entering His courts with thanksgiving, I sulk in with gripes, complaints, and "poor-me's". And, even in the midst of it, I know my perspective is way off and I'm fairly disgusted with myself, but I just can't shake it.

Ever been there?

Yesterday at South Bay we sang a song that says, "Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty" (which comes from 2 Corinthians 3:17). I was meditating on that phrase while we sang and I felt the Lord say to me, "My Spirit brings freedom when you are feeling trapped."

Ahhh, the perspective changer... My circumstance need not change. You don't (necessarily) need to quit your job or get out of that relationship that you feel trapped in. The Spirit of the Lord can bring freedom to your heart no matter what your circumstances.

I started thinking about the various stories I've heard of girls literally trapped in human trafficking. There was one story I read about of a girl who was being abused by up to 10 men A DAY. She would write prayers and Bible verses on the wall in her room to remind herself that God is with her and gives freedom to her soul, something those men could never take away.

There is freedom for your soul in whatever circumstance you are "trapped" in. Invite Jesus to show you His presence and His perspective. He is there with you, and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty!

Thursday Thoughts

2011-10-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

Today has been one of "those" days. You know, the days you feel more like Eeyore than Tigger. The days where, as hard as you may try, you cannot get two positive thoughts formulated in your brain and thus it's probably better if you remain quiet. Yeah, one of those days.

Maybe it's the set-in rain and gray skies.

Maybe it's reading all of the articles about Steve Jobs.

Maybe it's the fact that there were 3 people killed & 7 more wounded yesterday just a few miles from our home, and the killer is still at large.

Maybe it's because potty training is not going so well.

Maybe it's because I've had to use more carpet cleaner in the last 48 hours than I think should be necessary.

Maybe it's because I attempted to buy the boys some fall clothes since they have both outgrown their entire wardrobe from last year (shocker), and I left with 2 pants and 2 shirts for both boys and a receipt that blew my mind. From Kohl's of all places! And I realize that doing laundry every 2 days all winter long is not reasonable.

Or maybe it's because I've been seeing things the past few days that remind me that Sammy and I still have a ways to go when it comes to this whole attachment thing.

I don't know. But "those" days are no fun at all.

On days like this, there are 2 things that I know to do:

Fill my mind with truth. This morning I got out some index cards and jotted down a few key Bible verses to remind myself of. I may not feel it, but I believe it, so I'm going to train my mind to think it and I will choose to respond in accordance with it.
Do the next thing. On days when even the most menial task seems insurmountable, you just have to tell yourself to do the next thing...whatever that may be. Don't get caught up in everything that needs to get done and the fact that you don't want to do any of them. Just focus on doing the next one. I love this old poem that I first came across in an Elisabeth Elliot book. The author is unknown.

From an old English parsonage down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And on through the doors the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration: “DOE THE NEXTE THYNGE.”

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
Thrust them with Jesus, doe the nexte thynge.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all results, doe the nexte thynge

Looking for Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering, be thy demeanor;
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing.
Then, as He beckons thee, doe the nexte thynge.

--Anonymous

Key Lime Pie

2011-10-05T14:22:00.000-07:00

Last night we had our 2nd Purpose Driven Life group. I love Life Groups because I get to know a whole new group of people at a deeper level. People whose names I didn't even know become friends over the course of a few months in a Life Group. It is a beautiful thing.

Last night, I made Key Lime Pie for our group. I thought I'd share the recipe as it is simple, but oh so delicious. I originally got this recipe from a family friend of mine, Suzanne.

Key Lime Pie

6 large egg YOLKS

1 cup lime juice

2 14 oz. cans non-fat condensed milk

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Pinch salt

Preheat oven to 350.

Mix ingredients. Pour into a large deep graham cracker crust. Bake 25-30 minutes.

Serve with a dollop of Cool Whip on top. Mmmmmmm!

Last week for Life Group I made Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cheesecake. This recipe is a little more involved, but it is phenomenal. This is another Suzanne recipe. Click here to view it.

Who's the Master?

2011-10-03T14:16:00.000-07:00

The other day Caedmon and I were having a conversation about Jedi Masters. (Can you pick up on any popular themes in our home?!) Our conversation took a slight turn and sounded like this:

Caedmon: "Mom, are you the master of our home?"
Me: "No. Who do you think the master of our home is?"
Caedmon: "Jesus?"
Me: "Yep. Who do you think is the leader of our home?
Caedmon: "Daddy?"
Me: "Right again!"

It is amazing what their little minds can put together and understand, even when it's never been explicitly explained to them.

I may like Lego's more than they do...

2011-09-29T14:21:00.000-07:00

Somebody please tell me that I am not the only parent who does this...

As most of you know, Caedmon recently celebrated his 5th birthday and was blessed to receive several packs of Star Wars Lego's. This is a new addition to our toy collection. I was not familiar with how precise you have to be in putting together the Lego's in order to create the desired/intended outcome. It's honestly a little too advanced for Caedmon, but nevertheless, he LOVES them and is very excited to have them.

I have spent hours (not at all an exaggeration, I'm just embarrassed to tell you how many!) putting these Star Wars Lego's together. I actually quite enjoy it. The activity is strangely relaxing and therapeutic for me. The only thing is, Caedmon quickly loses interest in watching me construct "Ewok Attack" or "Sith Nightspeeder" He'll start off by handing me pieces that I need and trying to construct things on his own. Then he'll move on to playing with a different toy right beside me. Then I'll notice that he's not even in the room with me anymore. And here am I, 30 minutes later, diligently focused on this project (and enjoying it a little too much)!

The other night I had all the Star Wars Lego's constructed and on display. I was so proud of my work that I took pictures!

The Lego creations are actually quite fragile so it's a little tricky for a 5 & 2 year old to "play" with them without destroying them. So after we were finished all playing with them together, I put them up so they couldn't be touched without adult supervision. We wouldn't want my hours of hard work going to waste, right?

The next morning I walked in the playroom where the boys had been having fun with another unnamed adult in our family only to find little pieces of Star Wars Lego's all over the floor! Really? They lasted less than 24 hours?! Caedmon said, "I'm sorry, Mom. We were just having fun!" Well, I guess that's why we have them after all. And it gives me an excuse to engage in a little "play therapy"! :-)

Please tell me that I am not the only parent out there who finds themselves lost in a toy long after their child has lost interest!

Caedmon the Creative

2011-09-28T14:59:00.000-07:00

I am of the belief that every child has the potential to be a creative genius. Their imaginations are astounding. One of the best things that you can do to nurture their creativity (and develop a valuable skill) is to teach your child to tell a story. To get started, you can tell a story back and forth. You add a line, then they add a line. You can say things like, "We need to think of a setting. Where do we want our story to take place? At the beach, in a jungle, in a hot desert?"

Then you can say, "Who are the characters in our story going to be?" Our stories tend to be full of superheros...not as much variety as one would hope for as of yet! :-)

After you have the setting and the characters, you can start to tell the story. They always turn out really funny by going back and forth. You can talk to your child about how every good story needs some kind of problem and then a solution.

This is a great game to play in the car or over dinner.

Storytelling like this prepares our kids to be great writers. When I taught kindergarten, I wanted my children to see themselves as "Writers". Many of them didn't even know their ABC's but, by-golly, they thought they were writers because they had a story to tell. Getting the words on paper is just the details. It was so important to me that they didn't get bogged down in their efforts to form letters or sound out words that they lost their story.

So how do you do that? How do you teach a child to write who can barely form letters?

You teach them to draw their story!

I got Caedmon a spiral notebook (Star Wars, of course) for his writing journal. About twice a week, we pull it out and add another story to this treasure chest. I draw a line horizontally across the middle of the page. He draws his story on top of the line and then he dictates his story to me as I write the words on the bottom half of the page.

Is he always eager to do this? No. Because it takes a lot of mental energy and focus to do it.

Are our stories always coherent? No. They are rarely linear and often make no sense at all.

Is he learning a valuable skill? Absolutely.

Here are a few examples of stories we've come up with:

By having the child dictate the story to you and then reading it back to them, you are teaching them that

letters/words have meaning,
left to right reading,
one to one correspondence in pointing to words.

As your child advances, you can have them help you think of the beginning sounds to various words, recognize sight words, and eventually sound out words by themselves (that is closer to the middle/end of kindergarten for most kids). Don't get bogged down in sounding our words and miss the story!

Logistical details:

I set my timer for 15 minutes. Caedmon has to sit at his little table and draw his story for the entire 15 minutes. Even if he's "done" early, he has to continue to add details.
Sammy and I do some type of activity together while Caedmon "writes" his story. Read, puzzles, etc.
When the timer beeps, Sammy begins an independent activity for about 15 minutes while Caedmon and I work on the words to his story. Sammy sits on a blanket with his activity in the same room where we are.
I try to do this on Monday and Wednesday mornings.
I would not attempt this particular activity with a child under the age of 4. Younger children may still like to draw a picture and have you label what they drew. But the concept of writing a story is a little advanced. I would just stick to orally creating stories until their language skills and storytelling abilities are a little more solidified.

Most importantly, keep it fun! Trying to get a story out of a child's mind and onto a piece of paper can be frustrating if you let it. Some days Caedmon needs a little more assistance and prompting. Other days he comes up with the whole thing on his own. The goal of the activity is to train your child to think like a writer and believe that they have a story to tell!

Sammy the Swimmer

2011-09-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

Evidently there is a little myth "floating" (pun intended) around out there that black people can't swim. Well, 2-year-old Sammy is on a mission to prove everyone wrong. He's swimming better than any other 2-year-olds I know!

Sammy was terrified of the water this time last year. But after watching Caedmon take swim lessons this summer and seeing how much fun the water can be, he has virtually taught himself to swim! He does not want a life jacket and does not want you to hold him. He wants to swim! It's been a lot of fun to watch.

Quiet Time- What's that?

2011-09-26T14:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was an amazing day at South Bay Church! 832 people, 87 first time guests (who turned in connection cards), 12 first time professions of faith. It was such a great day! We kicked off our 40 Days of Purpose Campaign with a new message series called, "What On Earth Am I Here For?" Over the next 40 days, we are challenging every person in our church to read Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life book and participate in a discussion group throughout the week. I know that God is going to use this season to do an incredible work in individual lives and our church as a whole.

I realize that asking people to find time to spend alone with God every single day for 40 days straight is tough. But the dividends far outweigh the sacrifice, so we just have to be creative and fight to get that time each day. Speaking of having to fight for time alone with God, I thought I'd share with you an excerpt from my journal last Tuesday. See if you can relate! :-)

I feel like I'm out of breath ever morning when I finally have a chance to sit down to read my Bible. Mornings are so busy when you have little ones. It's just now 9 AM and here's how my morning unfolded:

5:30 Alarm - snooze
5:40     Up, put on work out clothes, notice lights just turned on in the living room but Andy & I are still in the bedroom. Put Sammy back in bed.
5:50 Begin "Insanity" workout
6:10     Sammy comes out again. Put him in pack-in-play with books
6:35 Finish workout. Put away clean laundry. Make bed. Andy showers.
6:45     Shower, get ready. Andy starts breakfast with boys.
7:30 Andy starts his quiet time. I make my breakfast. Distribute vitamins. Change diaper. Clear table.
8:00     Get boys dressed. Comb hair. Brush teeth.
8:15 Play Hungry, Hungry Hippo- 4 rounds
8:25     Get Caedmon's socks on. Finish doing his hair.
8:30 Sit in dark closet with the boys, lightsabers, blankets, and Darth Vader masks
8:35     Caedmon off to preschool with Dad
8:40 Empty dishwasher. Reload with breakfast dishes. Make cup of tea.
8:55     Set Sammy up for room time. Put away puzzle he pulled out in the playroom. Shake my head at the rest of the mess. Clean up a juice spill on the carpet.
9:00     Sit down with tea & Bible trying to still my heart enough to hear from God. The timer is set, though, because Sammy's room time won't last long. So I've gotta hear from God FAST!

How's that for "Be still and know that I am God"?!?! (insert panting & gasping for breath here)

My hat is off to all the moms out there whose mornings look exactly like mine, but then would need to write "Out the door for work". It is not easy, I know!

Prioritizing that time alone with God each day is tricky, but it is what keeps us grounded amidst all the craziness and frantic pace we often live our lives. I am so excited for all of you who are taking this 40 day journey with us...it is going to change our lives!

Muffins, anyone?

2011-09-22T14:46:00.000-07:00

Big, huge, exciting things are happening at South Bay Church right now! This weekend we are launching into 40 Days of Purpose with our "What On Earth Am I Here For?" message series. The amount of preparation and hours of work that has gone into this is unbelievable. We are praying BIG prayers and expecting God to move mightily in our midst over the next 7 weeks.

This week we are starting over 50 new Life Groups- each discussing "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. We have really encouraged our Life Group leaders to invite friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors to join their groups instead of simply filling them with people who are already connected to South Bay. Our goal is that every adult who attends South Bay will get connected in a Life Group, but we don't want to stop there. We want to be salt & light in our community as well!

To bridge the gap of connecting with neighbors, Andy challenged our church (and specifically our leaders) to host a "Matthew Party". To listen to his whole sermon, click here and listen to the message from 8/21/11. But in short, a Matthew Party is just an informal and typically fun environment where followers of Christ and those who don't yet follow Christ can interact and engage in conversations.

Our friends, Dawn & Kent, had an awesome idea to host a "Mug & Muffin" party in their driveway one Saturday morning. They invited all of the families who live on their circle in their neighborhood to drop by and have coffee and a muffin together. Check out this awesome invitation that Dawn made:

They had a great time that morning building friendships with about 13 families that dropped by. What a huge win! They are living intentional lives, investing in those that God has put in their sphere of influence. Their neighbors may not be interested in spiritual things or South Bay Church or coming to a Bible study in their home. But God can use our willingness to reach out in ways that we can never predict ahead of time.

At the Mug & Muffin, Dawn & Kent had out these fliers inviting people to join them at their Life Group:

Intentional, but not "in your face". A non-threatening invitation to spend more time with fun people learning about our "purpose" in life...something that is important to everyone.

I'm sharing all this with you because I'm hoping that God will put it on some of YOUR hearts to host a similar event. Andy and I totally swiped their idea, reused their invitation (with minor adjustments), and we're hosting our own Mug & Muffin this Saturday. We spent two evenings this week walking around after dinner to invite people. We simply went door to door through our apartments, talked to people if they were home, and left it for them if they weren't. No one was unkind to us or slammed the door in our face. Quite the opposite, actually. People were so happy that someone was taking the initiative to get people together.

I don't care where you live, God is at work in people's hearts around you. When we moved to the Bay area to start a church, we were warned about all the opposition we would likely face from people here because the Bay area is so resistant to the Gospel. While there are certainly some pockets of resistance here, there are ALWAYS people in whose hearts God is at work. And we don't know who those people are. But if we will pray that God leads us to them and then create opportunities for those types of relationships to form, I believe with all my heart that God will bless it every time!

If you throw some sort of "Matthew Party" in the next couple of months, you BETTER let me know so that I can rejoice with you!

A few more birthday pics

2011-09-21T13:35:00.000-07:00

To read all about Caedmon's Star Wars birthday party, click here. These are just a few extra pictures that were too cute to leave out!

This is Caedmon after "helping" bake his cake. I don't understand why some parents think it is fun to bake with their children. I must be missing it somehow because I only see it as a necessary evil. He had fun, though!

Happy 5th Birthday, Caedmon! You are deeply loved.

Star Wars Birthday Pics

2011-09-20T15:11:00.000-07:00

Master Jedi Caedmon requested a Star Wars party for his 5th birthday, which sent me scouring the internet to come up with ideas. I'm not a big Star Wars fan, have never seen any of the movies (gasp!), and therefore had no ideas what to do. But, alas, the trusty internet came through again and provided not only a ton of ideas, but also step-by-step instructions for things like "how to draw Yoda" and "how to make a Yoda cake".

So here's how the party unfolded...

The guests were greeted by the signs on our door, covered in black plastic, which read "Welcome to the Wood Galaxy. Warning: Jedi in Training." (The Star Wars font can be downloaded off the internet for free.)

When they came inside, there was a slide show of Star Wars pictures and the theme song from Star Wars playing on our TV. We also decorated one wall in our house to have a Star Wars look.

Upon arrival, all Jedi were escorted to the DROIDFACTORY where they were to construct droids using biodegradable packing peanuts. The packing peanuts stick together if they get wet (via a wet sponge or by licking, which seemed to be the preferred method).

Once all the Jedi had arrived, they convened for their first JEDICOUNSEL. All of the children had either of gold or black fabric square to sit on to listen to instructions from Andy, who looked something like Darth Vader for most of the party.

Andy told the Jedi,

"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, the Jedi MasterCaedmon called all his friends to come help restore peace and tranquility tothe universe in honor of his 5th birthday. As the Jedi arrived, your first taskwas to construct droids at the Droid Factory.

Youare now sitting in our Jedi Counsel Chamber where we will discuss further plansto improve our Jedi skills. What is the most important weapon that a true Jedineeds? (a lightsaber) Ahh, yes, a lightsaber! One of our favorite Star Warshero has a problem. He has lost his lightsaber and he requires YOUR assistancein getting it back into his hands."

At this point all Jedi participated in a game of "Pin the lightsaber on Yoda." The lightsabers were made of green poster board with the handle colored black. I drew Yoda on bulletin board paper.

Back to the JEDICOUNSEL:

"Welldone, Jedi knights. You completed your mission of helping restore thelightsaber to Yoda. But your job is not complete! Before you may have alightsaber of your own, you must learn proper technique and form. A lightsaberrequires delicate control, not whacking each other. In order to develop yourJedi skills we will have a relay race where you must push the ancient rock with thelightsaber."

We divided thekids into 2 teams: Black/Gold according to whatever color square they weresitting on.The relay race consisted of them pushing a ball covered in aluminum foil back and forth across the living room.

Back to the JEDICOUNSEL:

"Welldone, Jedi knights. You’re skill are improving rapidly and you are almost readyfor your final test where you will be rewarded with your lightsaber. However,it is very important that you have enough energy to complete this finalexercise. Therefore, we are going to refuel our bodies with the nourishment oftrue Jedi Knights.

Today,you may choose to eat:
AnakinApples
            Ventress Veggies
            Jedi Jigglers
            Chewbacca Cheese & Crackers
            Obi Wan Orange Chicken
            Storm Trooper Tacos, and
            Pizza the Hutt

Yourparents can help you get your food, but then hurry back to our Jedi CounselChamber to eat together with your fellow Jedi Knights."

As the Jedi finished eating they were instructed to return to the Droid Factory to build more droids. They could also choose to color some Star Wars coloring pages that we printed from the internet.

Back to the JEDICOUNSEL:

"Congratulations,Jedi knights. You have made it to the final round of Jedi training. Our finalexercise will take place outside in outer space. We must be sure that you havemastered your skills in all parts of the Galaxy. As we depart to the outdoorDocking Bay, we will behave as Jedi Knights. We will walk swiftly in a straightline like soldiers. There will be no smiling, no laughing, and no goofing off!We are in Jedi training! Are you ready? (Yes, sir!) Ok, follow me."

For the final game the Jedi were on one side of the field and their lightsabers (inflatable ones from Party City) were on the opposite side. In the middle of the field stood Andy & Filipe, both wearing Darth Vader masks. The Jedi had to get from one side of the Abyss to the other, retrieve their lightsaber, and get back without being tagged by Darth Vader. If they were tagged they had to freeze until another Jedi came to unfreeze them. The game was rather chaotic and there was no real point or ending to the game, but the kids didn't care and just ran around laughing and whacking each other with their lightsabers!

To end the party, we reconvened all the Jedi to sing Happy Birthday to Master Jedi Caedmon and enjoy some cupcakes & cake. I realize that my Yoda cake looks more like an elderly monkey with large ears than Yoda, but hey, it's the best I could do. I told Caedmon before I started making it, "Caedmon, I'm not sure how this will turn out, but no matter what I want you to say, 'That's awesome, Mommy! I love it!'" And he did. Andy told me, "That is hands-down the best Yoda cake I've ever seen." I said, "Andy, that compliment means nothing to me because it is the ONLY Yoda cake you've ever seen!" At least I get an E for effort!

Those are mini-lightsabers in the cupcakes.

Notice my hand covering Sammy's mouth so that he can't blow out the candles!

There are a few more pictures that are too good to be left out, but I'll post those tomorrow. Until then, may the force be with you!

Happy Birthday, Caedmon

2011-09-15T23:40:00.000-07:00

Dear Caedmon,

All is quiet in our house after a very full and fun day of celebrating YOU. The presents have been unwrapped, the cake has been eaten, the friends have gone home. You and your brother are now sleeping peacefully in your bedroom just down the hall. Your dad passed out halfway through the movie and headed to bed. So here I sit on this couch, surrounded by Star Wars decorations, thinking of you.

I wish I had the words to describe how much joy you bring me.

I love the way you dance your goofy little dance, and the fact that you'll do it on command. Daddy made you dance for us before you could open your present this morning and we all laughed hysterically.

I love the way you laugh at yourself in instances where others would be embarrassed. That is such a wonderful quality. It sets people at ease in awkward situations. It makes people to feel close to you.

I love the way you say the funniest things without even meaning to. Today something smelled so I said, "Caedmon, do you need to poop?" And you said, "No. I just don't know why I can't stop farting. That's really weird, huh?" Where do you come up with this stuff? So funny.

I love the way you show great courage and boldness relationally. You make friends quicker than any child I've ever met. We could be at the playground for 5 minutes and you will make a new friend. The first day I picked you up from preschool this school year, you had already made a new best friend. You love people, and that makes people love you back.

I love the way you go with the flow when it comes to playing with your friends. It used to really bother me that you would imitate what other kids were doing instead of taking the lead. I thought that that meant you would be a follower and easily swayed. But now I see what an incredible gift it is. When you are with another child who has a strong opinion about what to play, you are happy to jump right in the fun with them. You are the kind of kid that everyone wants to play with because you don't always demand your way. You are a great playmate.

I love the way you are a self-declared "big kid" sometimes, but then the next moment you'll be asking me if you're still my baby. There is such tenderness in your heart. I love that you still let me hold you and we may kiss each other upwards of a hundred times a day. I told you this week that even when you are a grown man, you will still be my baby. That never changes.

I love the way your messy head looks in the morning as you bound into the living room. I told you once that your hair must have had a party while you slept. You liked that, so we say it often.

I love that you love books.
I love that you think you're "faster than anyone", but you're really not very fast.
I love that you have a great memory.
I love that you can get hit in the face with a dodgeball and laugh instead of cry.

Ahhh, Caedmon, I am so in love with you. You have captured my heart.

As I was reflecting upon the embarrassingly large amount of hours I spent preparing for this 2 hour party of yours, the thought occurred to me that I have absolutely NO idea what my parents did for me for my 5th birthday. I know they did something great because birthdays were a big deal around our house. But I have no memories of it. Not one. In fact, I probably have a grand total of about 5 memories from my whole 5th year.

The reality is, you probably won't remember this either. Today, you were on top of the world and you may remember it for a few years. But when you're 30, this will likely not be one of your top childhood memories.

As I considered that I thought to myself, "Why in the world am I doing all of this?" And the only thing I could come up with was that I just cannot get enough of your smile. I would do all kinds of crazy, ridiculous, never-do-it-for-anyone-else-in-the world things just to feel you be happy in that instant. I had such deep joy watching you today.

So maybe the party was just as much for me as it was for you. To be honest, I need moments in mothering that I remember just how great it feels to love a child all the way to the depths of my soul, and to know that that child is pretty smitten with me, too.

Caedmon Elliott Wood, this journey of getting to know you and who God is shaping you to become has been one of the most fascinating experiences of my life. In my heart I know that God has something incredible in store for you, but I have no idea what it is. With every new glimpse I catch of your personality, every new insight I have into your strengths, it is like God gives me one more piece of that puzzle to see the man you will one day be. God is going to use every single unique nuance about you to glorify Him and to change the world, if you'll let Him.

This year you'll play at a ton of playgrounds, eat more peanut butter than could possibly be healthy, and learn how to bathe yourself (responsibly). We'll play indoor dodge ball, capture evil villians, and have lightsaber wars in our living room. You will learn to read this year and the whole world will open up to you because of it. You will start kindergarten this year, and because we are still up in the air on what to do about schooling, I will keep in mind that this could possibly be my last year to have you at home all day with me. And while there have been moments that I have longed for the "freedom" that dropping my kids off at school will bring, I find myself digging in my heels as the day more quickly approaches. The thought of someone else hearing all your one liners and seeing that smile for 6 hours a day sends a ping to my heart. So on the days when I'm about ready to sell you to the highest bidder on Craig's List, I will remember that you won't stay the 5-year-old version of you very long. But I have this moment, and I will cherish it.

Happy 5th Birthday to my favorite Jedi. I love you more than words.

Birthday Overload

2011-09-13T14:05:00.000-07:00

This blog is being temporarily interrupted due to the fact that my child is having a birthday party this week which requires an enormous amount of preparation! I keep hearing my mom's voice from high school & college in my head saying, "Stacie, just take a B." (I was always the self-driven, over-achiever.) And then I hear myself answer her back with, "I don't know what that even means!" I will be back soon.

Getting It Done: A Day in the Life

2011-09-12T14:59:00.000-07:00

Today I thought I'd give you a glimpse into my strategy each day for "Getting It Done". The following is a schedule for my ideal day (Monday-Thursday). Notice that I said ideal, not typical. We are constantly needing to adjust things around and there are many days that certain things just don't get done. Also, Friday-Sunday are oddball days for me. Friday is Andy's day off and our family day. Saturday is a partial work day for Andy. Sundays are intense. Really intense.

5:30 AM- Wake up, begin workout ASAP

Andy and I most often work out together to a DVD in our living room. Believe me, it's no Richard Simmons silly aerobic workout. We've done P90X together and have just started a new program called Insanity. The name says it all. Another workout DVD that I've done that is good and not quite as intense is Slim in 6. For me, it's hard to find time to get to the gym...especially with children in tow. So by having the options to workout at home, the only barrier keeping me from working out is if I choose not to get out of bed.
I have to get my workout in early or I won't do it. I don't want to shower/get ready more than once a day so it either has to be at the beginning or end of the day. And it's best if I can do it when the kids are not awake. I have zero energy and motivation to work out once the boys go to sleep at night, so I just get up early.
The boys are not "invited" out of their room until 7 AM. If they wake up before that (Sammy almost always does), then Sammy goes in the pack-n-play with some books and Caedmon has quiet room time.

6:45 AM- Shower, Get Ready (Andy helps with the boys if they are awake.)
7:30 AM- I'm on with the kids. Breakfast. Clean up from breakfast. Get boys dressed. Etc...
After breakfast- My time alone with God / Kids' TV time

I allow my kids to watch 30 minutes-one hour of some sort of show per day. I'm strategic in my placement of it so that I can have that time to read my Bible. I go in my room, close the door, and focus. The reality is, I normally have to get up at least 2 or 3 times to break up a fight, help them if the show messes up somehow, etc. So, it's not exactly tranquil, but I cherish that time.

8:40 AM- T/TH preschool/room time

On Tuesday/Thursday, Andy takes Caedmon to school if he's in town and doesn't have a morning meeting. Sammy has 30 minutes of room time. (Mandy has an awesome post explaining the purpose of room time if you'd like to read more about it.) I put a gate on the door to remind Sammy not to come out and I will help him select a few toys to focus playing with independently. Room time is tough for Sammy. He mainly stands at the gate and calls for me. Not in a hysterical crying way, but just a "I'm not sure why I'm stuck back here" kind of way. Room time is still a new concept for him and he'll figure it out soon. I remember Caedmon doing the exact same thing when he was younger.

9:00 AM- M/W preschool at home!

I've started being a little more intentional about supplementing Caedmon's education with some at-home activities. Caedmon will be starting kindergarten next year and is only going to preschool two mornings a week. So, I'm just adding a little to what he's getting at preschool. Sammy participates as well (kinda). I'll share more about this later, but I get almost all my ideas from this website.

10:00 or 10:30 AM- Out and About

Running errands, library, playground, playdates, etc...

12:00 PM- Pick up Caedmon from preschool (T/TH), head home for lunch

1:30 PM- Sammy naps/ Caedmon room time/ I'm on the computer

Caedmon's room time is a little different than Sammy's. He no longer needs a gate to remind him to stay in his room. He doesn't need as much assistance choosing his activities (though sometimes I still help him if he seems bored). He engages more in the play and can have a more extended period of room time.
My computer time is devoted to writing a blog post, updating our finances, writing our monthly newsletter, and returning emails (which I'm horrible at). Sammy typically takes an hour- an hour and a half nap. That's a lot shorter than the 2-3 hour naps that Caedmon used to take every day. I'm learning to adjust and be very focused with the time that I get.

3:00 PM- Snack/Candy time

If Sammy took a nap and Caedmon stayed in his room, they both get to choose a piece of candy. They also normally have some milk and a snack at this point.
Then we're back at "it"...whatever "it" is for the day. Riding bikes, errands, outdoor play, etc...

5:00 PM- Dinner prep / Computer time

While I prep dinner, I let Caedmon have 30 minutes of computer time. He can play on either starfall.com, pbskids.com, or disneyjunior.com. Sammy either watches him or plays around the house by himself.

5:30 PM- ANDY'S HOME! Dinner time.

His arrival time fluctuates slightly, but he really makes an effort to get home around 5:30 everyday. When he walks through that door, it is a big moment and highlight of our day. The boys race to see who is going to get the first hug and then typically begin a wrestling match.
We normally eat dinner somewhere between 5:30-6:00.

After dinner- Family time

We try to really focus on family during this time between dinner and bedtime. Andy does an awesome job taking the lead in this. It looks different from night to night.

6:30 PM- Bath time/ Bedtime routine

I'll tell you a secret if you promise not to judge me...we normally only bathe our kids every other day. Unless they're super dirty. Saves time and energy and last time I checked there was no fungus growing on them!
Bedtime routine includes brushing teeth, reading a Bible story from The Jesus Storybook Bible, prayer, I sing at least one song, and I recently started quoting Psalm 23 to them each night. Someone told me that if you quote the same scripture to your kids every night, they will memorize it before long. Makes sense.

7:00-7:30 PM- Boys in bed

7:30-9:00 PM- Time with Andy

Some nights we work, some nights we watch a show, some nights we have a good conversation. It just depends.

9:00-9:30 PM- Get ready for bed

If I'm going to get up at 5:30 AM, I have to go to bed at 9:30 PM. That makes for a short evening for us, but it's a values call. We value working out so this is just our system for making it work.

So, that's a ideal day in my life. Not super-exciting, but it's how I fit in my Top 4.

The Priority of the Home: Part 4

2011-09-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

There is more than enough guilt in motherhood and this blog is, by no means, intended to create more. As moms, we can feel guilty about all sorts of things, big or small:

I fuss at my kids too much.
I didn't feed my kids a hot breakfast before their standardized testing.
My child is the last of his peers to be potty trained.
I didn't come up with the most creative/homemade Halloween costume.
My kids only speak one language (unless you include whining as a 2nd language).
and on, and on, and on...

We can torment ourselves by comparing ourselves to other moms who appear to "have it all together" knowing full-well that we, in fact, DO NOT have it all together. I hope that I share honestly enough on this blog that you realize that I do not have it all together and I do not even desire to portray to others that I do. (Well, I guess some days I'd like everyone to think that, but I know it's not healthy! :-) ) I hope you know that I am deep in the trenches of motherhood trying to be the absolute best mom that I can, but there are many-a-days that I feel absolutely defeated and sorry for my kids that they have me as a mom.We ALL feel that way from time to time.

With that said, it is with great sensitivity that I write this post regarding our decision for me to be a stay-at-home mom. I hope it provides some food for thought. This week I've been sharing some systems that Andy & I have put in place to help us prioritize our home, and I would be remiss if I did not share about this very crucial element.

The decision was mutual. Andy and I both wanted me to stay home to raise our children and maintain our home. When I announced to my fellow teachers that I was going to stop teaching to stay home with Caedmon, another teacher commented (not directly to me), "I wonder how her husband feels about that..." implying that I was no longer going to be "pulling my weight" financially and he must be pretty upset about that. Not so.

There are also people who think that Andy forced me to give up my career (and goals and intelligence) in order to do the "mindless work" of raising children. Equally untrue.

It's not like we arm-wrestled and someone lost. We both wanted this.

There are a two basics reasons (I realize this list is not exhaustive) that women have shared with me as to why they decide to work.

       1- We can't afford it financially for me NOT to work.
This may be true in some cases. You may be going through a season where your husband is unable to work or there are extenuating circumstances. However, in most cases where I've heard this reason, it is simply that the family does not want to decrease their standard of living. They are unwilling to move to a smaller house/apartment, drive cars that aren't quite as nice, take fewer vacations, etc... It is true that, if the wife has a high-paying job, your standard of living can increase. But it is costing you in other areas.

As a wife, it is not your God-given responsibility to provide for your family. That role has been given to your husband (Genesis 3). In Paul's instruction to Timothy regarding men he says,

"If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and expecially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 1 Timothy 5:8

Wives often feel pressure (whether from their husbands or self-imposed) to help provide for the family's financial needs. By doing that, they are taking on a burden that God did not intend for them to carry. He has equipped our husbands with the strength to carry that load.

I know of lots of wives that are creative in the ways they supplement the family income. Online businesses, part-time contract work with flexible hours, working during school hours, etc... There are ways to make it work.

But ultimately, it is not your job. Godliness with CONTENTMENT is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6). Let's affirm our husbands as wonderful providers for our families by being content with the standard of living his job allows.

Reason #2:

       2- Honestly, I feel like I might go crazy if I spent all day every day with my kids.
Wow. I have so been there. On my darkest days I have had the thought, "I just need to go find a job that will cover the cost of childcare so I don't have to be with them all day!" There is no doubt about it, being a stay-at-home mom is hard work! And it often feels like hard work that is unappreciated, unproductive, and unstimulating. At the end of the day, moms don't have a lot to "show" for our hard work and can thus be less fulfilling than accomplishing something tangible at the job.

Logically thinking, however, the person who spends the most waking hours with our child is going to have one of the greatest influences on that child. That is why those first 5 years of a child's life are so incredibly crucial. My children are learning what it means to be a "Wood" right now. No one else can teach them that. Yes, someone else could change their diapers or potty train them or teach them their letters. But I don't want ANYONE else teaching them about character and integrity. We forget that they are learning those lessons every single day, whether we are intentional about it or not.

For those women with huge career aspirations, let's say you have from age 25-65 to work in the corporate world. That is 40 years! Rest assured, you can put a parenthetical clause in your career to raise your children for ten or twenty years and you will have far more reaching results than if you solely focus on your career. We get ONE shot with raising our kids. There are no re-do's or rewinds. If we wasted today, that's too bad. We can try to do better tomorrow, but this one is gone. I realize all too clearly that Sammy and Caedmon will only be 2 and 4 years old one time.

The reality is that pursuing our own dreams and career aspirations while we have children at home can, for some women, be a selfish escape from our responsibilities. Like it or not, Scripture is clear that women are to be homeward focused. (1 Timothy 5:14, Titus 2:4) What a PRIVILEGE and HIGH-CALLING that God would entrust us with such an important task! I am not using these verses to say that the Bible teaches that it is a sin for a woman to have a job. You could definitely make the argument that a woman can be homeward focused and still have a career. I'm just saying that it's tricky...that's an awfully big load to carry.

While playing trains and building towers and cleaning sticky fingers and runny noses may not be the most mentally stimulating environment, it is growing our character. God has used motherhood more than any other role in my life to shape me into His likeness. By leaning into the trials instead of finding a way to avoid them, God reveals in me heart attitudes and sinfulness that I never knew was there...sins that I probably would never see if I was only interacting with adults throughout the day.

There are many days where I feel completely spent emotionally and the thought of getting a job sounds great. But I know in my heart that doing that would not be what is best for me (in my character development), it would not be best for my children, and it would not be best for our home.

Concluding thoughts:

Let me be clear:

Just because you have a job DOES NOT make you a horrible mother. You may be doing an absolutely fantastic job at motherhood, and I have no doubt that you are trying your very best.

AND (equally important)

Just because you are a stay-at-home mom DOES NOT make you an awesome mother. It is possible to be physically present but mentally or emotionally unengaged.

The point of this post is to encourage you to honestly access you "homeward focus". If you do have a job, why? What are the real motivations? Is it because you are discontent with a lower standard of living? Is it because the Character School of Motherhood is a course you'd like to speed past with just the Cliff Notes? Is it because having a "real job" makes you feel more significant? Is it because you've just never considered a different option?

As I go to push "Publish" and launch this post into the Cyber World, I cringe at the thought that some of you reading this may feel judged or misunderstood or guilty. PLEASE KNOW that that is not my heart. I am compelled to write this because of a young mom that my mom was talking with several years ago. My mom gently shared with her many of the ideas written in this post and that young mom wept as she saw motherhood through a new lens. She decided to quit her job in order to focus more of her time on her child. It was a gut-wrenching decision for her, but one that she has never regretted.

Maybe there is a mom out there reading this and it will set her free to make some adjustments to be more homeward focused. If so, this post if for you.

The Priority of the Home: Part 3

2011-09-08T14:31:00.000-07:00

This week at staciewood.com I've been sharing some systems that Andy and I have in place to help us prioritize our home. Today the topic is Keeping Evenings Free.

For whatever reason, a lot of people think that our evenings are probably slammed with dinner meetings and/or church functions. The truth is, they're normally not. There are weeks or seasons where we will have something on the calendar multiple nights a week, but typically we do about one evening meeting per week.

We have some standard events a few nights of each week. Thursday night is almost always spent babysitting for the Santos family. Friday night is almost always date night. And Saturday night is spent preparing for Sunday morning...we rarely go anywhere on Saturday evenings.

So that leaves Sunday-Wednesday evenings as discretionary.

It would be oh so easy for me to fill up each of those times slots with an activity. There are always people with whom I would love to have dinner or an evening cup of tea. There are always several women on my heart that I would love to disciple or encourage or just have a good conversation with. There are always at least two or three initiatives rolling around in my mind that I'd like to gather a team of people to get started.

We have to fight to protect that evening time together as a family.

The boundary that we have set for our family for this season is that I take one night each week to myself for ministry purposes. After eating dinner together as a family, Andy gets the kiddos ready for bed and I have the rest of the evening "off". I have complete freedom to fill that time with whatever my heart desires...a discipleship meeting, leading a life group, etc.

Knowing that I only have that one evening time slot available forces me to do a couple things:

I think long and hard about how to invest that time. The past 9 months I've been discipling a couple women during that time. Now, I'm about to jump back into Life Group leadership. The time limitation forces me to bypass things that could be good for what I believe God is telling me will be best.
I figure out creative ways to have more daytime meetings. Anyone who has small children could attest to the fact that it is not ideal to have little ones running around when you are trying to have a indepth, heart-to-heart discussion. However, I have chosen not to hide behind that barrier and have scheduled many a "playdates" with other women (whether or not they even have kids!). I limit this to some extent because I don't want my kids to feel neglected or pushed aside every time I take them to the playground. The conversations are frequently interrupted, but God can use even that to grow and encourage us to be an example to others of what godly parenting looks like.

This system of keeping our evenings free is tricky, and it will likely look different for us once our kids are older and we're going to their sporting events multiple nights a week. But, for this season, we keep it pretty low key to make room for family dinners, popcorn with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and games of indoor dodge ball (thank you, Andy, for that one).

It gives Andy and me space to cuddle on the couch after the kids go to sleep and watch a favorite show. It gives us space to enjoy a good book or get organized for the next day. In essence, it gives us space to let our spirits catch up with our bodies that have been going like crazy all day.

This post is intended to be DEscriptive of a boundary that the Wood family has in place, not PREscriptive for every family in the world. It's just one of our systems that helps us prioritize the home.

"The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance."

Psalm 16:6

The Priority of the Home: Part 2

2011-09-07T14:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I introduced some "systems" Andy and I have in place at the Wood household to help us make sure Family Life gets a top priority in our lives and in our hearts. Here's the benefit of systematizing it:

A system
       Saves
       You
       Stress
       Time
       Energy &
       Money

One system that we have in place is our weekly finance talk.

I am no expert on finances. But I do know that, statistically, financial problems are one of the leading causes of divorce. One of the greatest things Andy and I ever did for our marriage was to go through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace class. I am of the belief that the class should be a requirement for every couple before they get married. It's that good.

Each week (normally on Tuesdays), I "update our finances". That includes paying any bills as well as entering all of our expenditures into our budget spreadsheet. Because I try to do it on a weekly basis, it doesn't take that long. I can typically get it done during Sammy's naptime.

We don't use any fancy programs for our budget. We just have a Google Doc spreadsheet where we keep track of each of our budget categories. In the past we used Excel for this, but we like having it as a Google Doc so that we can look at it online from wherever we are. For example, if we're at the mall and Andy wants to know how much money he has in his clothing line item, I just pull up the Google Doc on my phone and can tell him the exact amount. It eliminates the need to carry cash envelopes for the various categories, which was quite cumbersome to me.

Everybody's categories look a little different, but our categories include:

Giving
Housing
Groceries
Restaurants
Household/Hygiene
Auto
Auto Insurance
Vacation
Entertainment/Recreation
Andy's clothing
Stacie's clothing
Caedmon's clothing
Sammy's clothing
Savings
College savings for kids
Medical/Dental
Gifts
Office
Miscellaneous

That's more categories than a normal budget has, but I've found it's helpful to be very specific so I can track our spending carefully.

Click here to view a generic Google Doc I made to give you an idea of what our budget looks like. (I changed all the numbers and percentages.) MTD stands for Month To Date and YTD is Year To Date. You'll notice that there is a formula entered in those cells that automatically tallies your spending in each category. Feel free to copy this and make a Google doc of your own if it would be helpful for your family.

After I have updated our spreadsheet, it's very easy for Andy to glance at it on Tuesday evening and have a good understanding of where we are financially. Our weekly financial talk is typically all of 5-10 minutes, but it keeps us on the same page. There are occasions where we'll go more indepth to do some long term planning or something, but that is not a weekly conversation.

I know budgeting can feel totally overwhelming if you're not used to doing it. OR maybe it feels like you're voluntarily locking yourself in a cage. From my perspective, however, it is totally liberating. When you have a budget and know where your money is going, it takes all of the fear and guilt out of spending. I don't ever have to feel guilty about buying that shirt or that present for a friend if I know the money is there. It also allows us to be extravagant and cheerful givers.

If you don't do any type of budget at this point, let me just encourage you to take 2-3 months to simply track your expenses. Don't worry about how much you're spending in the various categories at this point. Just enter the information in the spreadsheet. Once you get a good understanding of where your money is going, you can start to boss it around a little more. "Hey, you! You go in that category!"

So, perhaps this is not the most interesting post on this blog, but I hope it was helpful. Having a strong financial system will eliminate 95% of financial tension in your marriage. That other 5%, well...no system is perfect! :-)

Let me know if you have any questions that I might could help you with.

Getting It Done: The Priority of the Home

2011-09-06T14:26:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm sorry for not getting to my blog yesterday to continue my "Getting It Done" series. I guess I just didn't 'get it done' because we were having too much fun enjoying our Labor Day! So, here are my thoughts coming to you one day late.

Last Monday, I shared with you my "Get It Done" list. These are the top 4 things that I try to get accomplished each day. I build my day around fitting them in. I mentioned that perhaps you thought it was strange that Andy & the boys are no where to be seen on my list. Here's why: that list for me is like a task list, not a priority list. "The List" is a system I use to stay focused on some personal things that I value. It keeps me focused, motivated, and disciplined. It also helps me to gauge when my life is starting to spin out of control because I don't get around to them.

Our family life has some built-in systems, too.

Marriages and families today are not designed to go the distance. Family life carries on around us whether we are paying much attention to it or not, so it is easy to get neglected. However, if we want our homes to not only survive 50+ years but THRIVE, we have to prioritize what it is we say that we value most.

This week I'm going to share about some systems we have in place in The Wood Household that help us to "Get It Done" well on the homefront. If we had a "Get It Done" List for our family, it would look something like this:

Date Night
Family Day
Boys' Club
Weekly finance talk (I'll post on this tomorrow)
Keeping Nights Free (post on Thursday)
Decision to be a Stay-at-Home mom (post on Friday)

Date Night, Family Day, and Boys' Club are standard weekly appointments on our calendars. They are written in permanent marker and VERY few exceptions are made to cancel them. We're not crazy-legalists about it, but there would be many weeks that it would be easy to skip out on them because of busyness, traveling, etc... The system is in place to ensure that we are getting those blocks of special time together.

Sometimes I'll hear someone say, "Well, I don't get a lot of time with my kids, but the time I do get is quality time." That's bologna. Our kids don't just need quality time; they need quantity time! It takes quantity time to create quality time. You can't say, "OK, kids, we've got 20 minutes. Now let's have some quality time!"

Not every date night, family day, or boys' club is memorable. Some are highly forgettable and others we wish we could forget because they were so horrible! But because we have this SYSTEM in place, we have the opportunity every single week to create those special moments as a family.

Recently a friend was telling me that someone was giving her a hard time for having a weekly date night. They said to her, "That's a little much, don't you think?" She asked me, "Do you think I'm crazy for wanting a date every week?" I said, "No. I think they're crazy!"

It is absolute CRAZINESS not to prioritize the things we say we value. It is crazy to let temporary stress and urgent deadlines crowd out the relationships God has blessed us with. It is crazy to allow laziness and complacency to seep into our families while all the love, intimacy, and life drains right out. It is crazy to think we are the exception to the rule and our marriage/family will beat the statistics even if we don't make it a top priority.

It is more important than your job.
It is more important than your ambition.
It is more important than your hobby.
It is more important than your friends.
It is more important than your ministry.

We all believe that. The tough part is living like we believe that. You CANNOT get an 'A+' in every area of life. But this is not an area I'm willing to take a 'B' in.

What are your SYSTEMS that help you "Get It Done" well at home?

Falling for Fall

2011-09-01T10:36:00.000-07:00

I love Fall.

Not sure if it's because

the crispness in the air after the hot summer days,
all the new school supplies in Target that make me giddy,
my birthday and both of my kiddos birthdays are in the Fall, or
the fresh start of a new schedule

Whatever it is, Fall makes me feel energized and motivated and who doesn't love to feel like that?

I think I have some borderline disorder with an obsession for school supplies. I really don't need any, but I am so tempted to buy them all. I can get a buzz just by walking through a teacher supply store. When I taught kindergarten (my long, illustrious career of 2 years!) I loved setting up my classroom the week before school started. Now, when the kids arrived the following week my gleeful naivity and high expectations were met with a healthy dose of reality...reminding me that 2 years was just about the right length for my teaching career!

Caedmon started back to preschool today. He was so excited and I was too. He has the same precious teachers that he had last year and I could not be more happy with the environment he's in for those three hours on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.

We're looking forward to field trips and class parties and picnics at the park after preschool. We'll meet new friends and learn new skills. We're praying that Caedmon will grow in wisdom and stature and favor with God and men.

Not everyone in the Wood family was excited about Caedmon going back to school. Or at least not very happy that he didn't get to go, too!

Maybe next year, Sammy! This year you get some good ol' 1-on-1 time with Mommy instead.

Wood Family Visit

2011-08-31T15:31:00.000-07:00

We were so blessed to have part of Andy's family come to visit us this week! After church on Sunday, we headed up to Lake Tahoe for a couple days of beautiful landscape and memory making. Here are some of my favorite pics!

A Very Inappropriate (but funny) Post

2011-08-30T10:51:00.000-07:00

The other day while we were out and about as a family Caedmon needed to use the restroom. Because of my previously mentioned phobia of public restrooms, I always pass that buck to Andy when he's available.

When Andy and Caedmon arrived at the restroom, Caedmon announced that he needed to go poop. Andy said, "Aww, Caedmon. This bathroom is really gross. Can you hold it? How bad do you have to go?"

Caedmon thought for a moment and then replied, "Umm, I just have one piece."

Well, I've never quite thought to quantify it that way, but how else would a 4 year old know to answer that question? Ahhh, Caedmon.