Homeschooling: September Review

Hello, October! It's good to see you. October means pumpkin patches, birthday celebrations (mine & Sammy's), a getaway with Andy, and fall decor. Why do I love fall decor so much? I just can't get enough of hay bales, scarecrows, and pumpkins. Growing up in South Carolina, October also meant the State Fair, leaves changing, and a fresh crispness in the air. Now that I live in California, there's a little but not too much leaf changing and it seems that one of our hottest months of the year tends to be October. Kinda different, but hey, California makes up for it with all of the rad pumpkin patches and apple farms!

Ok, so here's a little review of what's been going on in the Wood Academy of Awesomeness during the month of September...

We covered two major units discussing the Moon and Leaves.

One thing I love about the "My Father's World" curriculum that we are using is that it teaches foundational truths for life as a follower of Jesus in ways that kids can understand. Every unit has "Words to Remember."

For the Sun unit the phrase was, "Jesus is the light of the world." We talked about how Jesus gives light to all of mankind in a similar way to how the sun gives light to the earth.

For the Moon unit the phrase was, "I am the light of the world." We discussed how the moon doesn't have any light of its own, but rather reflects the sun's light. In the same way, we can be a reflection of the light of Jesus to those around us.

We learned the phases of the moon. 

We built a spaceship and took a trip to the moon. 

We even had a supply list of what we thought we'd need on that trip.

I read "Goodnight Moon" to the boys and gave Caedmon the assignment of writing a "going-to-bed" story. This is what he came up with. (My only involvement was transcribing his words.)

I thought is was a pretty cool story. 

For the leaf unit, the Words to Remember were "I will live and grow in Jesus." We talked about the importance of staying connected to Jesus in order to be able to grow into the people He wants us to be. We pulled some leaves off of a plant and watched them wither and die over the course of the unit since they were disconnected from the source.

We did all kinds of stuff with leaves: traced them, leaf rubbings, pressed leaves, etc... Below, Caedmon and Sammy are painting the outline of the leaves.

We read the story "Leaf Man" together and then collected leaves outside to create 

our own versions of Leaf Man.

I made one, too, and had to share it because I was so impressed by my creativity. 

It's amazing how smart you can feel when you compare your level of competency 

to that of a 6 year old all day! :-)

Caedmon is doing fantastic with reading. Today we are on lesson 90 of "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons." (We started this last year.)

We are using the Math U See Primer book and it is probably too simple for Caedmon. We typically do 3 lessons a day just to get through the easy stuff. I think it will get more challenging pretty soon.

We also started learning Spanish using a Spanish DVD from Language Tree. This is brand new for the boys and pretty tough. But we're just getting our feet wet right now.

I gotta be honest, the "newness" of school kinda wore off by the end of September and I found myself with a rather uncooperative student on my hands occasionally. When that happens, it's pretty tough and discouraging. One day towards the end of our planned activities, Caedmon said "I'm not doing that," laid down on the ground and pretended to be asleep. It had been "one of those days" and I was so frustrated that I just left the boys in the playroom, went up to my room with my computer, and started Googling articles about homeschooling uncooperative kids. Thankfully, not every day is like that.

Also, occasionally I feel a bit envious of other moms whose kids are in school 6-8 hours a day. I think of the "freedom" I would have to run errands or get certain things accomplished if we had gone the public school route. But then I have to remember how much freedom homeschool actually provides. For instance, I fit our curriculum into about 2 hours a day 4 days a week. That allows us to go on awesome field trips and have family days every Friday. We've been to the Children's Discovery Museum, the playground, and this past week to an apple orchard. So cool.

Everything in life has it's perks and it's difficulties. I'm learning to fully embrace the perks without feeling guilty about it, and at the same time not to begrudge the commitment that homeschool requires. 

Them. Not You.

Here's a little tidbit of trivia about me: when I am teaching/speaking somewhere, I am a total one-track mind for about a month prior, and especially the week of. That is why I have only fit in one work out this week and my blog has been a little neglected lately. That is also why I can't think of anything else to write about today besides what I taught about yesterday.

So, here's a little excerpt from my talk. You're welcome.

If I had to boil down my "Mom Anger" to one root cause, it would have to be control. Plain and simple, my kids are either doing something I don't want them to do (whining, burping, sitting on his brother's head, taking off a mannequin's clothes, etc...) OR they're not doing something I want them to do (sleep when I tell them to sleep, eat the food I provide, pick up their toys).

As a mom, it feels like I should be able to control those behaviors. Push this button, pull this string and, Voila! A well-mannered child. We're big and they're little. We should be able to control them, right?

But we all know that that's not how it works so it can feel quite frustrating (maddening) that we can't get our kids to do what we want them to do. [Insert the Wrath-of-Mommy here.]

What I've learned is that I can't control my child's behavior, but I can train him effectively and discipline him consistently.

Training our kids includes two basic steps:
1- clear instruction on what the appropriate behavior looks like
2- consistent consequences to deter them from continuing in the negative behavior

Andy & I have found that the stronger-willed the child, the more creative the consequence must be. A consequence is totally ineffective if the child doesn't mind it. If you put your child in time-out but they sit there with a big grin on their face, time to find a new consequence.

The consequence MUST be unpleasant for them.

That eliminates the need to be angry. I don't have to stomp around and grouch about how they never put their toys away. While I put the toys in jail and my kids sit on the floor crying, I can say with empathy, "Man, that's a bummer that your toys are getting put in toy jail. I bet next time you'll remember to clean them up, huh?"

Secondly, the consequence must be unpleasant for them, NOT YOU. 

Don't take away their 30 minutes of TV time if that is your saving grace while you make dinner. Think of something else that would be equally painful for them, but not ruin your life at the same time.

And last, don't feel the pressure to come up with the consequence immediately.

The older your child gets, the more space there can be between the behavior and the consequence. Sometimes one of my kids will do something that makes me SO mad, but I have no idea what I should do in that moment. All I see is red. Probably the best thing to do in that moment is nothing. Simply say, "What just happened is not okay and you will need a consequence for that. But I'm not sure what I want that consequence to be yet. So I'm going to talk to your dad and we will decide together." Then, make sure you do follow up and administer the consequence later. Just because you've cooled off, don't think, "Oh, it wasn't that big of a deal." If it needed a consequence, you're not doing yourself OR your child any favors by not following through.

Being faithful with clear instruction and consistent consequences gives us a tangible plan to train our children. No need to angrily spin our wheels over bad behavior. Trying to control leads to anger. Effective training leads to progress. 

Mornings for Moms

Today we launched our new "Mornings for Moms" Life Group. It was awesome.

We are rotating who teaches this group, and this week it was my turn. I had the topic of, wait for it:

Mom Anger. 

How's that for diving in head first?!

This is my 3rd time teaching about Mom Anger and I fear that I am beginning to be known as "the angry mom". Oh, yeah...you need someone to teach on anger? Call Stacie. She deals with it a lot! 

Uh...not so sure that was the reputation I was going for, but hey, I'll take one for the team and be the poster-child for Mom Anger since I know it's something we all deal with. 

I gotta tell you, though, teaching on anger is even worse than praying for patience. Everyone knows that if you ever make the mistake of praying for patience, you will be bombarded with a zillion frustrating opportunities to grow your patience. Imagine what teaching on anger provides. Yup. I have been living the past two weeks in a laboratory of anger-inciting moments.

• messes made
• complaining about meals provided
• sibling conflict
• laying on the floor pretending to be asleep during homeschool
• grumpy attitudes 
• outright defiance

Typical mom-stuff. It just felt heightened the past couple weeks. 

Here's a story bound to make you laugh (or blush). Just keep in mind, it's a lot easier to laugh when it's not your kids! :-) 

Last week I took the boys to the mall to buy them some fall clothes. They're a little too old for strollers but not quite old enough to maintain the self-control to make a mall trip enjoyable. As I'm in the process of making decisions on fall wardrobes, they are taking things off hangers, trying stuff on, and then leaving a trail behind them of discarded items. 

I came around the corner at Old Navy to find that my boys had undressed a little child mannequin. I scolded them as I quickly dressed the poor, embarrassed mannequin and then returned to decision making. I looked up again to, again, find the mannequin with his pants down and Caedmon's head right next to his butt. I said (in my staccato "Mom Voice"), "Caedmon! What. Are. You. Doing?" He replied, "I'm just smelling his butt." (As if that would be okay with me!) 

Then, to top off the experience, we walked into another store where Sammy made a bee-line for a full grown male mannequin. Sammy proceeds to grab the mannequin's crotch and yell clear across the store, "Caedmon! I found his penis!" At this point I am thinking, "Where is the closest exit? Do NOT make eye contact with anyone! Whose perverted children are these?!"

So, I for one, am glad that today's talk on anger is behind me. I'm hoping that now some of these anger-inciting opportunities will subside back to the level of "normal". I think next time I'll sign up to teach about something like "creating moments of spontaneous laughter and hugging".

If you are a mom in the Bay Area, we would love for you to join us for our Mornings for Moms. Click here for more info. 

Relationship Rehab

If you are anywhere near the Bay Area this weekend, we'd like to invite you to join us this Sunday at South Bay Church as we launch a brand new series called Relationship Rehab. And if you are a regular attender at South Bay, bring someone with you! This is the easiest kind of series to bring friends, family members, and co-workers to because everyone has some relationship in their life that could use a little rehab! :-) It is going to be an awesome day and you don't want to miss it!

Check out this cool 2 minute promo video:

Relationship Rehab Series from South Bay Church on Vimeo.

It's good for the flesh.

This past weekend, our church served at Santa Clara's Art & Wine festival. This is always a special event for our church because, not only is it the largest city event that we help with, it also was our first connection point with the city.

When the Wood, Santos, and Jackson families first moved to the Bay Area in 2008, we served at the Santa Clara Art & Wine festival less than 2 weeks after we arrived (still living out of boxes). With the help of a mission team from one of our partner churches, we hosted a booth, picked up trash, and helped with set up/tear down. People thought we were some big established church but we actually didn't even have a meeting location or a launch team yet!

For the past 4 years, South Bay Church's presence at the Art & Wine Festival has gotten more and more prevalent. As the city has learned that they can trust us, they have asked us to take on more and more responsibility.

This year South Bay Church provided over 250 volunteers to serve at the event. What a statement to our city! This church is here to love and bless our city! We probably had thousands of people stop by our both and 700 of them filled out info cards. Our team is working like crazy to follow up with all 700 people before our "Big Day" this Sunday.

On Sunday afternoon, Andy, the boys, and I were on our way to the festival for our "shift". We were getting there right as the festival ended to help with the massive clean up effort. Caedmon was (dramatically) disappointed when he realized that the festival was over. I guess kettle corn and carnival rides sounded a lot better to him then picking up trash. Go figure.

Our 3 year old Sammy, who could have fun doing ANYTHING, interrupted Caedmon's melt down by saying matter-of-factly, "Caedmon, we're here to help." Yep. That pretty much sums it up.

I said to Andy, "Serving is so good for the flesh."

Walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh. Galatians 5:16-17

• My flesh would rather stay home and sit on my couch then go and serve. 
• My flesh would rather be grumpy or think about all the difficult things in my life instead of choosing joy. 
• My flesh would rather speak harshly to a disobedient child than to gently instruct and train him. 

Our flesh needs a constant reminder that we don't live for it anymore! We live for the Spirit and have crucified the flesh.

Whether we are training our kids to be selfless or training ourselves, we all need to give ourselves ample opportunities to beat down the flesh so the Spirit can rise up in us and fill us with LIFE!

• Serve someone in secret. 
• Give some money to a good cause that you would rather spend on yourself. 
• Invest time in a relationship instead of focusing solely on your 'to-do' list. 

After all, it's good for the flesh!