Friday, May 24, 2013

He gets his courage from me. Clearly.

My hands were full as I opened the door to my house and saw a SQUIRREL scamper across my kitchen floor. I closed the door and walked right back outside.

My thoughts were, "Fine, you want the house? I'm not gonna fight you for it. I'll just take my kids to playground until Andy gets, like, 5 hours!"

I called Andy, "Uh, Babe, there is a squirrel in our house."

"What? A squirrel?"

"What should I do?"

We were trying to decide between him coming home from work and me walking over to my neighbor's to ask for help when Caedmon overheard me say something about a squirrel being in our house. Before I knew what happened, Caedmon was in our house playing peek-a-boo with the squirrel.

I felt like quite the role model as I stood outside the house peering in my kitchen window at my 6 year old son who was a foot and a half away from this squirrel. We call Caedmon "the Animal Whisperer" because he has NO FEAR of any animals and likes to get as close to them as he can.

I didn't want to freak him out but inside I was screaming, "Caedmon! Get away from him! That squirrel will bite through your big toe with those rabies-riddled teeth of his! He's likely to jump on your face and wrap all four limbs around your head while he gnaws on your nose.  And then I will have to peel him off of you and 4 year old Sammy will have to call 911 to tell them that his brother has rabies and his mom has suffered a heart attack!"

I didn't say that.

Instead I opened the front door and calmly said, "Caedmon, dear, don't touch the squirrel."

When the squirrel ran back under the couch, Sammy and I quickly made our way on top of the kitchen island where we sat safely perched while "coaching" Caedmon. I may or may not have said, "Caedmon, Mommy will pay you $5 if you can get this squirrel out of the house." Not that he even needed the incentive. He was having a blast. But you tend to say desperate things when in desperate circumstances.

My 6 year old son proceeded to move all of our furniture to expose the squirrels hiding places and then chased the squirrel around while laughing gleefully.

The dumb squirrel bi-passed the wide opened front door and ran downstairs. Caedmon and I followed. Once I found a safe position standing on top of the arm of the couch, Caedmon resumed the search for the hidden squirrel. The squirrel darted right passed me (albeit, 3 feet below me) and I screamed like a little girl on the playground. This delighted Caedmon to no end. He laughed hysterically as he chased the squirrel back upstairs.

This adventure lasted about 30 minutes and, when the squirrel finally decided to rejoin his proper habitat, my habitat was quite a mess. Every couch and table had been moved, one lamp was broken, and squirrel droppings were everywhere. Evidently squirrels poop when under pressure. It's their go-to coping mechanism.

Caedmon was awarded his $5 and walked around the rest of the day like he had received a badge of honor. That's the best investment of $5 I've made in a long time!

1 comment:

Sanders said...

Bahahahahahahahaha! I felt like I was right there watching the whole thing unfold! Great story telling! Good job Caedmon!!