Trapped?

Do you ever feel trapped?

Trapped in a job? Trapped in a relationship? Trapped in a season of life?

Last Thursday I wrote about my not-so-good day. Truth be told, it was kinda a not-so-good week. Nothing particularly out of the ordinary or horrible happened, I just lost my rhythm and emotions piled up. I started feeling trapped.

Trapped by the amount of work that is required just to maintain status quo in my life (laundry, meal preparation, finances, caring for daily needs of children, etc...). Trapped by the limited amount of "alone time" I get (to get a haircut, do office work, go shopping for clothes for me, etc...). Trapped by the reality that we are working within a budget that has limits which are often tighter than desires.

It's so strange to me how some weeks I feel great about life. I feel (somewhat) organized and on top of things. I feel motivated and encouraged by the things I'm able to get accomplished. I enjoy the calling of being a stay-at-home mom and even feel a little guilty about how relaxing it is to take the boys to the pool or the playground for an afternoon while I chat with friends. The sky is blue. The flowers are in bloom. And I'm doing alright.

Then, for whatever reason, my perspective on life takes a nose dive and I loose all sense of gratitude and joy and contentment. Instead of singing and whistling throughout the day I hear myself barking at my kids. Instead of entering His courts with thanksgiving, I sulk in with gripes, complaints, and "poor-me's". And, even in the midst of it, I know my perspective is way off and I'm fairly disgusted with myself, but I just can't shake it.

Ever been there?

Yesterday at South Bay we sang a song that says, "Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty" (which comes from 2 Corinthians 3:17). I was meditating on that phrase while we sang and I felt the Lord say to me, "My Spirit brings freedom when you are feeling trapped."

Ahhh, the perspective changer... My circumstance need not change. You don't (necessarily) need to quit your job or get out of that relationship that you feel trapped in. The Spirit of the Lord can bring freedom to your heart no matter what your circumstances.

I started thinking about the various stories I've heard of girls literally trapped in human trafficking. There was one story I read about of a girl who was being abused by up to 10 men A DAY. She would write prayers and Bible verses on the wall in her room to remind herself that God is with her and gives freedom to her soul, something those men could never take away.

There is freedom for your soul in whatever circumstance you are "trapped" in. Invite Jesus to show you His presence and His perspective. He is there with you, and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty!

Thursday Thoughts

Today has been one of "those" days. You know, the days you feel more like Eeyore than Tigger. The days where, as hard as you may try, you cannot get two positive thoughts formulated in your brain and thus it's probably better if you remain quiet. Yeah, one of those days.

Maybe it's the set-in rain and gray skies.

Maybe it's reading all of the articles about Steve Jobs.

Maybe it's the fact that there were 3 people killed & 7 more wounded yesterday just a few miles from our home, and the killer is still at large.

Maybe it's because potty training is not going so well.

Maybe it's because I've had to use more carpet cleaner in the last 48 hours than I think should be necessary.

Maybe it's because I attempted to buy the boys some fall clothes since they have both outgrown their entire wardrobe from last year (shocker), and I left with 2 pants and 2 shirts for both boys and a receipt that blew my mind. From Kohl's of all places! And I realize that doing laundry every 2 days all winter long is not reasonable.

Or maybe it's because I've been seeing things the past few days that remind me that Sammy and I still have a ways to go when it comes to this whole attachment thing.

I don't know. But "those" days are no fun at all. 

On days like this, there are 2 things that I know to do:

1. Fill my mind with truth. This morning I got out some index cards and jotted down a few key Bible verses to remind myself of. I may not feel it, but I believe it, so I'm going to train my mind to think it and I will choose to respond in accordance with it.
2. Do the next thing. On days when even the most menial task seems insurmountable, you just have to tell yourself to do the next thing...whatever that may be. Don't get caught up in everything that needs to get done and the fact that you don't want to do any of them. Just focus on doing the next one. I love this old poem that I first came across in an Elisabeth Elliot book. The author is unknown.

From an old English parsonage down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And on through the doors the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration: “DOE THE NEXTE THYNGE.”

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
Thrust them with Jesus, doe the nexte thynge.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all results, doe the nexte thynge

Looking for Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering, be thy demeanor;
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing.
Then, as He beckons thee, doe the nexte thynge.

--Anonymous

Key Lime Pie

Last night we had our 2nd Purpose Driven Life group. I love Life Groups because I get to know a whole new group of people at a deeper level. People whose names I didn't even know become friends over the course of a few months in a Life Group. It is a beautiful thing.

Last night, I made Key Lime Pie for our group. I thought I'd share the recipe as it is simple, but oh so delicious. I originally got this recipe from a family friend of mine, Suzanne.

Key Lime Pie

6 large egg YOLKS

1 cup lime juice

2 14 oz. cans non-fat condensed milk

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Pinch salt

Preheat oven to 350. 

Mix ingredients. Pour into a large deep graham cracker crust. Bake 25-30 minutes.

Serve with a dollop of Cool Whip on top. Mmmmmmm!

Last week for Life Group I made Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cheesecake. This recipe is a little more involved, but it is phenomenal. This is another Suzanne recipe. Click here to view it.

Who's the Master?

The other day Caedmon and I were having a conversation about Jedi Masters. (Can you pick up on any popular themes in our home?!) Our conversation took a slight turn and sounded like this:

Caedmon: "Mom, are you the master of our home?"
Me: "No. Who do you think the master of our home is?"
Caedmon: "Jesus?"
Me: "Yep. Who do you think is the leader of our home?
Caedmon: "Daddy?"
Me: "Right again!"

It is amazing what their little minds can put together and understand, even when it's never been explicitly explained to them.

I may like Lego's more than they do...

Somebody please tell me that I am not the only parent who does this...

As most of you know, Caedmon recently celebrated his 5th birthday and was blessed to receive several packs of Star Wars Lego's. This is a new addition to our toy collection. I was not familiar with how precise you have to be in putting together the Lego's in order to create the desired/intended outcome. It's honestly a little too advanced for Caedmon, but nevertheless, he LOVES them and is very excited to have them.

I have spent hours (not at all an exaggeration, I'm just embarrassed to tell you how many!) putting these Star Wars Lego's together. I actually quite enjoy it. The activity is strangely relaxing and therapeutic for me. The only thing is, Caedmon quickly loses interest in watching me construct "Ewok Attack" or "Sith Nightspeeder" He'll start off by handing me pieces that I need and trying to construct things on his own. Then he'll move on to playing with a different toy right beside me. Then I'll notice that he's not even in the room with me anymore. And here am I, 30 minutes later, diligently focused on this project (and enjoying it a little too much)!

The other night I had all the Star Wars Lego's constructed and on display. I was so proud of my work that I took pictures!

The Lego creations are actually quite fragile so it's a little tricky for a 5 & 2 year old to "play" with them without destroying them. So after we were finished all playing with them together, I put them up so they couldn't be touched without adult supervision. We wouldn't want my hours of hard work going to waste, right?

The next morning I walked in the playroom where the boys had been having fun with another unnamed adult in our family only to find little pieces of Star Wars Lego's all over the floor! Really? They lasted less than 24 hours?! Caedmon said, "I'm sorry, Mom. We were just having fun!" Well, I guess that's why we have them after all. And it gives me an excuse to engage in a little "play therapy"! :-)

Please tell me that I am not the only parent out there who finds themselves lost in a toy long after their child has lost interest!