marriage, motherhood, and ministry

Thursday, February 16, 2012

How to Lead Your Child to Christ- Part 5

Today is the final post in my series on how to help your child begin a relationship with Jesus. Up to this point, I've shared some tips on how to:

In this post I'd like to offer a few final thoughts to consider as you prayerfully seek to help your child begin a relationship with Jesus.

I believe that it is possible for children to put their faith in Jesus and truly become a Christian at quite a young age. Both Andy & I had this experience as young children. If your child shows tenderness toward the Lord at a young age and a desire to honor Jesus with his life, encourage that and help them to cultivate that relationship. If your child does accept Jesus as their Savior at a young age, it is likely that they will have another experience (perhaps in middle school or older) when they feel they make their faith more their own. This is common because as their understanding grows, their commitment to Jesus should grow deeper as well. They will transition from piggy-backing on their parents' faith to cultivating their own independent relationship with Jesus. Andy & I both had this experience as well.

With that said, it is imperative that Christian parents don't push their children into making a decision that the child is not self-motivated to make. Making a premature decision can be very confusing for the child spiritually as they grow up AND it can create a false sense of "I'm okay with God" or "My kid's okay with God" when really that is not true at all. Due to the naiveté in children and the trust they have in their parents, most parents could convince their children to make a decision to followJesus or say that they want to be a Christian. What 6 year old, upon learning the reality of hell vs. heaven, wouldn't jump at the opportunity to be sure he/she was going to heaven?

It's really a delicate balance...

Failing to capitalize on a child's spiritual tenderness at a young age is a HUGE mistake because if they don't learn to respond to the promptings of God on their hearts when they are young, their hearts tend to grow harder as they get older. So parents should pray fervently and work diligently toward the goal of having their children enter a relationship with Jesus. But, they have to keep checking themselves to make sure they are not pushing their child beyond what he/she is ready for.

Also, we have to remember that our kids are learning what it means to be a Christian by watching us live our so-called "Christian" lives. They learn how to pray and how often to pray. They learn about repentance and forgiveness. They learn how important Scripture is to every day life. They learn how to calculate God into decisions. They learn about compassion, kindness, gentleness, patience, joy, and peace from watching our every move and every interaction with them. If we are following Jesus with all of our hearts, they will have a much better understanding of true discipleship then if we serve them some form of luke-warm Christianity.

Finally, we have to remember that, ultimately, the decision is a personal decision between the child and Jesus. We cannot make the decision for them, nor can we take responsibility for the decision they make. There are so many parents who try to create the very best environment for their child and do all the right things to help their child grow spiritually, but the child doesn't respond. If that is where you are today, please know that Jesus has heard every prayer you have prayed on that child's behalf and not one of those prayers (or tears) have fallen to the ground. He has caught them all and they are precious to Him. And let me encourage you to continue in those fervent prayers because as long as there is prayer, there is hope! Trust in the God who loves your child so much more than you do!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

How to Lead Your Child to Christ- Part 4

I've been writing a series of posts to give Christian parents some tools to know how to help their children begin a relationship with Jesus. I gotta be honest, I feel like I might be boring ya because I haven't gotten much feedback about these posts and I know it's not quite as exciting as pictures of me doing toe-touches. But I also know, for any Christian parent, there is nothing that we long for more than for our kids to experience the hope, peace, and joy we have found in our relationship with God. So I pray these posts are helpful and that you feel more equipped as a parent to be the leader spiritually.

Here's what we've discussed so far:
Step 1: Establish a good understanding of the character of God.
Step 2: Help your child understand their need for a Savior.
Step 3: Teach your child what it means for him to make Jesus "the Lord of his life."

Once you feel like your child is ready to make the commitment to follow Jesus, what do you do? What does the "deal-closing" conversation look like?

First let me emphasize that there is no magic formula. The Bible doesn't have a certain prayer that we must pray in order to become a Christian. There are no magical words that we say, so take a deep breath and don't get freaked out that you're going to royally mess this conversation up! The goal is to get your child to authentically express their heart and their desire to follow Jesus.

Through a series of open-ended questions (not yes/no questions but rather ones where your child has to formulate an answer without your prompting), get your child to explain to you these things:

Why they feel the need to ask Jesus into their hearts (sinners, need forgiveness, Jesus is the only way to have a restored relationship with God)

What Jesus did for them (lived a perfect life, died as a perfect sacrifice for our sin, rose from the dead to conquer sin and death so that we can live with Him in heaven one day)

What it means to follow Jesus (letting Him make the decisions for our lives, He's in charge, He helps us to know what to do through the Bible and we do our best to obey Him out of our love for Him)

Here's a easy way to remember it.

A- Admit they are sinners in need of a Savior
B- Believe in their hearts that Jesus died for their sins so they could be forgiven and have a relationship with Him.
C- Commit to follow Him and obey Him all the days of their lives.

After you've had a good conversation with your child and you both feel he/she is ready to take this incredible step, help your child pray to ask Jesus into his/her heart. It is absolutely okay to have the child repeat a prayer line by line after you. Or if the child is willing/feels comfortable, have them pray on their own. Again, there are no magic words or formulas here. Just cover the basics that you talked through in your conversation...I'm a sinner, I need Jesus, I believe in what Jesus did on my behalf, I commit my life to follow Him. No matter what words come out, Jesus hears the heart!

I have a few concluding thoughts that I will share in one final post tomorrow.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Love Day!

Today completes the 14 Day Love Challenge and if you hung with me, you have invested a ton of time, energy, and thought into your marriage over the last two weeks. One day, as I was preparing our candlelight picnic, I thought to myself, "This is a lot of fun, but it's also a lot of work." I felt like God spoke to me in that moment to say, "How could your marriage NOT thrive when you are investing this much into it?"

Most of us would quickly affirm that our marriage and family are the top priorities in our lives. But often, those are the things we are the least intentional about. We may think strategically, set goals, and be quite disciplined in other pursuits in life. But we tend to float through family life without much thought.

God showed me through this 14 Day Love Challenge that we need to REVERSE that mindset. When I set mini-goals for myself in regards to my family (like candlelight picnics and love notes and lunch dates), I am motivated to stay focused on those. It takes some redistribution of my time, but it is worth the effort and the pay-out is amazing!

Here's a glimpse at our Valentine's celebration...

The night before our Valentine's breakfast, I realized that I didn't get any decorations or special things for the table. Hmm... time to get creative. So I pulled out some good ol' contraction paper and dangled paper hearts from the ceiling, found some red napkins left over from my friend's shower, and used Swedish fish to make a red heart on each plate. The kids loved it! When Sammy walked out the next morning he said, "Oooo, look it! Decorations! I like it!"

Last night after dinner, Sammy started jumping off the couch. Instead of stopping him, I decided to take pictures of him. Which turned into all of us jumping off the couch and taking pictures of each other. We had never done this before but it was A LOT of fun and I would highly recommend for you and your family to give it a shot!

A Storm Trooper joined our party. I love Andy's face in the pic below! :-)

I think I must have started having flashbacks from my middle school cheerleading days! Ha.

I hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day with those in your life who you love so much. But regardless of what your love life is like right now, there is a God in heaven who is ENTHRALLED with you and loves you to pieces! And we can all celebrate that!

Monday, February 13, 2012

How to Lead Your Child to Christ- Part 3

In the first two parts of this series, I shared some ideas for

To get your child to say "I want to be a Christian" or to repeat some prayer after you without having this as a foundation can lead to a false sense of security for both you and your child. It is crucial that each child, to the extent that they are cognitively capable, fully understand the decision they are making. In addition to Step 1 & 2, there is (at least) one more element that is necessary for your child to understand what it means to be a Christian.

Step 3: Teach your child what it means for him to make Jesus "the Lord of his life."

That phrase, "the Lord of your life," is a little church-y, as in you hear it all the time in the Church but if your were to say it to a random stranger they would likely need interpretation.

Jesus is often referred to as "Lord" in the Bible. He is even called Lord of lords. Really, all it boils down to is that He is the leader. He's the One with the authority to make the decisions.

Driving in the car recently, Andy asked Caedmon, "What does it mean when someone is the master?"

I'm sure Caedmon's mind immediately went to Jedi Masters so he began explaining that being a master meant that you are the best at what you do and you're in charge and tell everyone else what their missions are supposed to be.

Then Andy asked, "What does it mean to be the leader?"

After Caedmon gave his explanation, Andy asked, "And what does it mean to be a king?"

Caedmon did an impressive job of answering the questions, and then we started discussing how that is what Jesus is for our lives. Jesus is our Master, our Leader, and our King. When we decide to follow Jesus, we give over the leadership and decision making to Him. We no longer decide for ourselves what we want to do. We listen to Him tell us what He wants us to do.

This concept is hard for a child to fully grasp, but I do not believe a child is ready to receive Jesus as their Savior until they have some level of understanding of this crucial element.

How do you make it practical?

Talk through your decision making process with your kids at age-appropriate levels.

For example, our family is in the process of moving as our lease is up in March. We have talked with the boys about our decision making process and prayed with them that God would lead us to the place that He wants us to live.

As you read the Bible & devotional books together, talk about how your kids can apply what they are learning to their everyday lives.

There are so many Bible stories/verses that highlight generosity, kindness, self-control, courage, etc... Character qualities that are God's will for all of our lives.

Share with your child (obviously, in an age-appropriate way) areas of sin that you have struggled with and how you have decided to stop doing things your way and start following the way Jesus has prescribed.

In my opinion, there needs to be a time when your child recognizes that what he wants to do (i.e. punch his brother in the nose) is not what Jesus wants him to do. And in that moment he has to make a decision whether or not he will allow Jesus to be his Master or will he put himself back on the throne of his life. This is the point at which a child can grasp the concept of surrendering his rights and his life to the Lordship of Jesus.

I will post Part 4 on Wednesday.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Happiness is...

This week at South Bay, we are kicking off a brand new series called, "Happiness Is..." In a country where the 'pursuit of happiness' is one of our highest values, it is amazing how illusive happiness can feel. Just beyond our reach.

One time a doctor told me that he prescribes more anti-depressants than any other form of medicine. I've never met someone who wanted to be sad or depressed, but I've met a ton of people who are. I have been there as well, trying to find my way out of the seemingly never ending tunnel of depression.

When all of our pursuits for happiness leave us empty-handed, or at best with a few good memories, we are left feeling like there has to be more to life and happiness than this.

That is what we're going to be talking about in the coming weeks at South Bay Church, and you don't want to miss it. And I know all of us know of a few people in our lives that would benefit from being there as well. So you get there, and bring 'em with you!