And then we ate ice cream for dinner...

Most nights I like to "re-set" the house before I go to bed. Toys stored away, dishes washed, couch pillows back in place. It seems silly, at times, to do this because I know that first thing tomorrow morning, I will stepping over toys, have a sink overflowing with dishes, and won't be able to find the missing couch pillows. But, I like order. And a nightly reset gives me the illusion (mirage?) that I still have a bit of it left in my life. 

Order is nice. Routines are helpful. As a rule, that is my preferred modus operandi. 

But every one like me needs a friend like her.

The text comes to me, "Hola Amiga! You want to go to the beach on Wednesday?" 

Why, yes, I think I do. 

My other friend, Dawn, (who, like me, is also a scheduler/planner/orderly type) decides to throw caution to the wind and join us.

No naptimes for the Littles. No laundry or cleaning or meals getting made that day. No Daddy's to help us carry our gear or supervise our seven children. But no worries. We've got this. (We wore our capes under our clothes.)

It took us 2 hours (instead of the predicted 45 minutes) to get from my house to sitting on a blanket by the beach. But we would not be swayed by the traffic jam or deterred by the long trek to the bathroom. Dawn & I both just brushed off our tattered mom-pride as we picked up our strollers that we accidentally flipped (with babies inside) because we loaded them with too much stuff. We would have our beach day no matter what. 

The hike from the sidewalk through the sand to the ocean was a long one. I dragged my big ol' BOB stroller loaded with a baby and all the fixin's. A beach umbrella. A portable exersaucer. Blankets, towels, sand toys, diapers... 

And then there was Dawn. As I trudged through the sand I kept looking back at my friend who had 22 month old Tyson to encourage along. She was so weighted down by their bags that she couldn't carry him. By the time they made it, she said, "I feel like we just spent 40 years wandering through the wilderness."

But somehow, the stress seems minimized when you're with friends. 

And in between yelling for the big boys not to go out too far and nursing Karis and comforting Dawn's Littles who were not huge fans of the beach, we talked. And laughed. And did life together. Because it's better that way.

After our shoulders had been kissed by the sun and all the children had as much sand on the inside of their swimsuits as the outside, we decided to go get a treat. A special treat at a special place I knew about. So we begin the long journey of rinsing sand toys, shaking out blankets, collapsing umbrellas and exersaucers, and hiking across the sand. Back through the wilderness.

On the other side of wilderness were showers. Cold showers. And I'm not quite sure what all the onlookers thought as I held my son under the water while he laughed and screamed and tried hard to run away. 

Once everyone was pottyed and dry clothed, we loaded our gear back into the car, buckling 7 kids into carseats. We drove to our long awaited treat spot, unloaded 7 kids, and walked up to the door to find it closed. They closed at 6:00. My phone said 6:01. 

Dawn's kids were too tired and young to be obsessed with the treat, but there was no way Lina and I were getting off the hook that easy. Thank goodness, Lina knew of another great ice cream shop.

So then we ate ice cream for dinner...

Eat up kids. This is dinner.

There were no high chairs at this joint so I held Karis in my lap while feeding her with one hand and eating an ice cream cone with the other. The thought ran through my mind, "Sometimes I impress myself." But then I had a flashback of the flipped stroller with Karis laying helplessly on her back. Ok, ok, not too impressed.

Lina said, "I'm glad we did this."

Me, "Yeah, it was such a fun day."

Lina laughed and said, "It's funny how so many things can go wrong and we still think it was such a great day."

Yep, and (cue Jack Johnson song), it's always better when we're together.

Laundry and dishes and couch pillows can wait for tomorrow. Some days you just gotta get to the beach.

IT'S A...

Last night was one of the happiest nights of my life. 

A few weeks ago my friend, Mandy, said she'd like to do some type of gender reveal celebration for us.    Boy, did she ever pull off something great!

Mandy is my "we're in this together" friend. She and her husband, Filipe, were the first to join us in taking ownership of the vision of South Bay. They sold virtually everything they owned, moved across the country with us, and have labored side-by-side with us as South Bay turned from a vision to a reality.We raise our children together, vacation together, and share life's ups and downs with each other. She has walked this whole journey with me emotionally...from the years of infertility, the excitement of pregnancy, the devastation of losing the baby, the timidity of beginning another pregnancy, and now this... 

Last night before the reveal she said (without crying, amazingly!), "I have prayed for this baby for the last 5 years." What a gift. What a friend. 

As I looked around at the friends who were gathered, I knew each of them knew our story. Each of them had prayed prayers on behalf of our situation. They grieved with us in our pain and were pulling for us every step of the way. The joy of last night was magnified because of the back drop of pain it was cast against. 

Mandy called in the A-Team of party planning and they pulled off such a special, beautiful, and fun party. (She promised me they would keep it simple. I told her I think she must have a different definition of the word "simple"!) It was a night full of laughter, excitement, hugs, and tears of joy. 

 Yummy desserts with an adorable banner

Everyone had to vote whether they thought the baby would be a 

"Bow" or "Bowtie". This group was betting on a girl! 

Here are the bowties. 

It was really late on the East Coast, but my sister & mom insisted that they wanted to stay 

awake and be apart. I Skyped my mom and Facetimed in my sister. Love technology!

No one at the party knew the gender. Even my friend who brought the balloons had 

someone else prepare the balloons for her. There was SO MUCH anticipation and 

excitement in the air! That moment was more wonderful than anything I had hoped for. 

It's a GIRL!!!!!!!

Here are all the girls celebrating another addition to our tribe! Don't let the silly faces 

fool you...at least half of these ladies were in tears moments earlier. What a joy to 

have friends who love you so deeply!

 Here's a 45 second clip of the reveal! I've watched it at least a dozen or two times!

The Body

This morning I was reading in 1 Corinthians where Paul compares the Church [aka the Body of Christ] to the human body. Chapter 12 verse 26 says:

If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it. 

I get that. I understand how stubbing your toe can make your whole body reel with pain, and I know how it feels to hurt with those around us who are hurting.

On Saturday, I had the privilege to spend a few hours at the hospital with my friend, Jenn. I was honestly surprised to see how sick she was. I had seen her earlier in the week and she was walking around and wearing make up. Besides the limping, you would never have known anything was wrong. But then she started chemo.

She laid quietly in her bed with her eyes closed most of the time I was there. The expression on her face every time she readjusted let me know just how uncomfortable she felt. And the nausea...

Jenn had thrown up probably three times in the two hours that I had been there. I felt so helpless looking on, wanting to somehow ease her pain but knowing there wasn't a whole lot I could do. Cold rag? Ice chips? Massage?

But the moment that made me fight the tears from my eyes was when, for the fourth time, she started throwing up and just couldn't stop. It wouldn't pass. She started to cry. I started to cry. But then I thought, No! That's not what she needs from me right now. She needs me to be her strength. So I swallowed the lump in my throat and whispered softly, "You can do this. You are going to get through this."

Back to my Bible reading this morning...

Earlier in chapter 12, Paul writes, "Our bodies have many parts and God has put each part just where he wants it."

There are so many people doing so many different things to serve the Garcia family right now. Bringing meals, childcare, setting up a website for donations, visiting with Jenn, heartfelt cards, financial contributions, coordinating all the moving parts, etc.

A part of our body is suffering and it is our honor to get to lighten their load any way that we can.

No matter where you are reading this right now, whether you are connected to the Garcia family or not, you are connected to someone. There are people around you who need someone who genuinely loves them, who cares about what is going on in their lives, who is willing to slow down, and even be inconvenienced, in order to be a friend.

We each have a role to play. We've been divinely designed for a purpose and, regardless of it's visibility, it is significant. We are a Body, and every part matters.

Who can you go out of your way to show love to this week?

Rays of Kindness

The following is part of a series of posts that will take you on a (very personal) journey with me through the story of our family. If you are just now tuning in, take a minute to start back at the beginning and catch up: 

Post 1: A Journey

Post 2: Love Awakened

Post 3: Hope Deferred 

Post 4: Worth the Wait

Post 5: A Longing Fulfilled

Post 6: Faith Tested

Post 7: Choosing to Trust

In the weeks leading up to our vacation to San Diego, God started providing for it in crazy ways. Like, really bizarre ways. It was the kind of thing that, at first, we were excited to share with others how God was providing for us, but then it got to the point that it was a little embarrassing just how much we were being blessed. Someone at South Bay gave us an anonymous envelope with a bunch of money in it. Another family heard we were going to San Diego and bought tickets for our whole family to go to the zoo, SeaWorld, AND a safari adventure. Altogether, there were over 10 different gifts that we received leading up to this vacation. 

It was baffling to me. I couldn't figure out why God was blessing us so much, but was thrilled to be on the receiving end of it! Then the events of our miscarriage began to unfold and it seemed that our whole vacation may unravel. We weren't even sure if we should still go to San Diego.  

As my heart and body ached while driving down to Southern Cal, the same question kept running through my mind over and over again, "How is this kind? You say that You are kind. How is this kind?" 

When we got to our hotel, they gave us a free upgrade to a suite overlooking the ocean. Ok, that was a little weird. But, thank you. 

And slowly it began sinking in...God saw this heartache coming down the pike for us and He wanted to do something to remind us that, right here in the midst of it, He is still kind and benevolent toward us. He's not cruel or mean-spirited. He didn't ruin our long-awaited vacation. He's been planning ahead this whole time to provide space for us to be together as a family, away from everything else, to grieve and heal. He provided for our every need while we were there. 

It was by-far the most luxurious family vacation we've every experienced and we only ended up paying about $100 out of pocket for it. We stayed at a beautiful resort overlooking the ocean, went to a different theme park every day we were there, and Andy & I both got a massage. When we were walking up to LegoLand (the only park we did not have pre-purchased tickets for) someone walked over and gave us a buy one/get one free coupon. As he walked away, Andy and I kinda laughed and said, "This is unbelievable." Two minutes later another person walked over and gave us one free admission ticket. Hello!

The other way God provided for us during this time was through a close community of friends and family. Andy and I were completely overwhelmed by the love and support that was immediately poured out on us. We had only told a handful of people, mainly South Bay staff, that we were pregnant. But this small group of friends banded together and ministered to us in ways they may never fully understand. 

I received daily texts from friends and family checking in on me, encouraging me, and sharing Scripture with me. Every text ended with the assurance of, "I'm praying for you," and I knew it was true. They were holding up our arms when we ran out of strength. 

When we got home from our vacation we were shocked to find our refrigerator already stocked with food. The really eerie part was that it was pretty much exactly what I would have bought if I had been to the grocery store that day. Yes, I have a few friends that know me so well they can even buy my groceries for me. They put together a meal train, set up childcare to provide windows of alone time for me (which is how I've been able to write all these blogs), sent flowers and chocolate covered strawberries and gift cards. 

I know that their hearts hurt with mine, and somehow that brought so much comfort. They've been eager for every update, have listened to me share my heart when I wanted to, and just let me be "normal" when I didn't want to think about it anymore. 

I've been reminded through all of this that life is better together. God designed us to live in the context of community. When life gets busy and my task list seems out of control, may I never let "pursuing meaningful relationships"be the ball that I drop. There are a lot of other things that can be put on hold or said "no" to altogether. But, relationships are the richness of life.

Those dear friends and family members were the tangible arms of Jesus that held me tight and reminded me of His love. And sometimes we all need Jesus with skin on.

One last post coming tomorrow...

Blessings

I had such a wonderful day yesterday thanks to some amazing friends. 

My friends, Debbie & Mike, wanted to do something to bless me and help me while Andy is out of town. So they dubbed yesterday "Stacie Day" and spoiled me rotten! When I arrived at their home yesterday morning, Mike was just getting home from Starbucks with a Grande Chai Latte for me! Then he took the boys to the playground for an hour and a half (I'm telling you, he's borderline a saint) while Debbie took me to get a pedicure. What in the world could be better than sipping your favorite drink while talking to one of your favorite people all the while getting a foot massage?!?!?

After our pedicures, we went back to their house to grill out. And, I tell you what, I put down some food! I ate a burger with gorgonzola cheese mixed into the patty (yum!), a hot dog, watermelon, corn of the cob, and a root beer float popsicle. Talk about an All-American meal to celebrate Memorial Day! While Caedmon soaked his feet in the pool and Sammy chowed down on his lunch, we lounged in their beautiful backyard which is bursting with flowers and plants of every variety.

We had planned on going swimming after lunch, but Caedmon bust his forehead open on Saturday and had to get 2 stitches so swimming was out. Plan B. Debbie got silly string and water balloons and we had an all out war in their front yard. The boys were in heaven!

My heart was so full when we left their home yesterday afternoon. Thank you, Mike & Debbie!

THEN, we headed straight over to Mandy & Filipe's house where we partied with some more friends.

This is Ella, Kendall & David's daughter. I tell everyone that she is my niece and 

grab her out of their arms every time I see her. Such a precious girl! 

 Oh, I wish you could have seen this scene! Juliane brought a bubble machine and some children's music and the kids went crazy! They were having SO MUCH fun chasing the bubbles and dancing and laughing their little heads off. I marked that down in my heart as a sight I never want to forget. 

What a day! My cup runneth over...

When Andy & I followed God's call to start a church in California, the most difficult part for me (by far!) was moving so far away from all of our family. The thought of holidays and special occasions without them felt like an empty void in my heart. I deeply desired the closeness and support of having family near. 

I'll be honest, sometimes my heart still aches that they're not here or we're not there, but God has blessed us beyond what we could have imagined with the community we have here. He said, "Stacie, I've got you covered. I will meet your every need...even down to having people dote on your children and plan fun things for them like silly string wars and water balloon fights and backyard dance parties with a bubble machine."

Standing over the kitchen sink this morning I found myself singing, "All I hath needed, Thy hand hath provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me." 

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

My college roommate (and one of my best friends in the whole world), Kendall, is expecting her first baby! To celebrate, some of the South Bay staff girls threw Kendall a shower this past weekend. Sanli, who is not officially on staff but might as well be, opened her home for the party. I gotta be honest, throwing parties like this typically isn't my cup of tea. But I had a great time helping with this one as it was, to me, an expression of my love & excitement for Kendall.

Get ready for picture overload because you know I have to show off all of our hard work!

The fabric for the tablecloth is the fabric Kendall chose for her nursery. 

That's where we got the theme for this shower. 

We had lots of hostesses that each contributed something special!

Kendall's mom SURPRISED her by flying in from Alabama for the shower.

Oh, how I love a good surprise!!!

So full of joy!

A special prayer of blessing for a special new mom!

Friends

We really enjoyed getting to spend time with some dear friends this past month. One of my roommates from college, Kendall, and her husband, David, came out for a long weekend. Because our staff team all originally met during college, our whole staff knew Kendall. Below is a picture of us all crammed in The Counter, the best burger restaurant in the Silicon Valley.

Another super fun visit was with Kim, one of my best friends from our time in Texas. We had a really busy weekend when she was here because we had 40 people in town from a mission team to help with an event at which South Bay was serving. Typical for Kim's character, she just jumped right in and served wherever she was needed.

Kim is my "fun-friend" and I always laugh a ton when I'm with her. Here we are tearing up a huge bowl of pho with some Thai iced-tea. Mmmmm... She also took me shopping and helped me take the plunge into the world of skinny jeans.

Together

Today Caedmon and I went to the pool for the first time this year. In a word...phenomenal. I would like that to be how I spend every morning for the rest of the spring/summer! (Not going to happen, but we can wish!) Caedmon was so entertained just playing with a few toys on the steps and occasionally "swimming" around the pool with me. The pool at our apartments is heated so the water is perfectly comfortable and there is not a cloud in our bright blue sky today. Couldn't have asked for a better morning!

One thing that added to the enjoyment was having my friend, Amanda, and her two kiddos there. I have found that motherhood can be so isolating. It is easy to get into my own routines with my own family and never interact with others except for the rushed conversations at church on Sundays. So recently I have made it a point to invite others to go with me where ever I'm going. I try to limit my "errand-running" to one or two mornings a week so that Caedmon and I can do something fun together on the other days. So whether we are going to the playground, the museum, the library, or the pool, I try to invite a friend. Today, I actually invited 6 friends and only one was able to make it, so you gotta be persistent. If it ends up being just me and Caedmon, we still have a great time doing something fun. But if we get to enjoy the company of friends, then Caedmon gets to have some playmates and I get to have an adult conversation (albeit punctuated by frequent interruptions).

Sometimes I would honestly rather just be by myself. Like this morning, I got some bad news and I would have been content moping around alone. But being with Amanda and playing with all of our kids lifted my spirits. Often when we find ourselves wanting to isolate, that is the time we are most in need of reaching out! So treat yourself to something fun...and invite someone to enjoy it with you!