Suck it up, Princess

I thought about starting this post by saying that I've been going through a tough time lately…there are some personal challenges in my life that are really weighing me down. But then I thought, I'm pretty sure anyone at anytime in their life could make a statement like that.

The challenges change during different seasons of life.

• In college, I jammed my schedule SO full with classes, work, practicum, and ministry responsibilities that I could barely find time to eat or sleep.
• When first married, my whole life got turned upside down with a new husband, new home, new city, and new job. I suffered through an undiagnosed depression for over a year. 
• When we had our first child…
• When we started South Bay Church...
• When we adopted...

Some difficulties undoubtedly outweigh others. And, intermingled with the pain, every season has it's share of joys.

It's the dance of beauty and heartache. The place where laughter and tears merge. When fist-pumping victory in one area is tainted with failure in another. That moment when a breathtaking sunset is interrupted by a swarm of gnats.

We don't get to separate the two. They are always there…together.

And it is up to me to see the artistry in it all. To choose gratitude over pity. To cling to faith over despair. To believe truth instead of lies.

What I say to myself and about my situation can drastically affect, not only the outcome, but also how I walk through it. I have to surgically remove the lies I'm believing and replace them with what I know to be true.

• I am blessed. (Ephesians 1:3)
• God has given me everything I need for life and godliness. (2 Peter 1:3)
• His grace is more than enough. (James 4:6)
• If I ask, He will give me wisdom. (James 1:5)
• He has a plan and somehow this will work out for my good and His glory is I will stay the course. (Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:28)

And then, some of the most inspirational words I'm saying to myself right now are: "Suck it up, Princess." 

I don't have time to wallow around in hopelessness. I've got three kids who are counting on me. I'm the only Mommy they get so I better put my hand to the plow and try my best. I've got laundry to do, meals to prepare, bills to pay, and scraped knees to bandage. I have work to do and I am stronger than I think I am. So I will brush the tears off my face (or sometimes just let them flow) and I will keep moving. I will suck it up and believe that when I do what only I can do, God will step in and do what only He can do.

Self-reflection has it's place...But you might as well be sorting the laundry while you at it.

So today, identify the lies that you are believing about yourself or your circumstance and then replace them with truth. You gotta suck it up, Princess. The world is counting on you to show up. To bring your best. Keep fighting through the gnats to dance in the sunset. I'll meet you there.

Home Improvement

Andy and I are not home-project kind of people. I think this can be boiled down to 3 main reasons.

1. Neither of us have the skill set needed for even minor repairs. We can’t fix a leaky faucet and we will stare at a hole in our wall until we pay someone else to come patch it. We’re doing good just to change a lightbulb around here, People. Andy tells me, “I am not your Handy-Man. I am your Andy-Man.” Noted.
2. Home improvements require money. When we moved into our house a year and a half ago, there were several things that we needed to spend money on to make it more homey. But we ran out of cash before we ran out of projects. So several things that have needed attention for some time have been left undone as we’ve saved up some more cash.
3. Neither Andy nor I enjoy shopping. We avoid retail stores like the plague and would much rather spend an evening cuddled on the couch watching a TV show than surfing the Internet for rugs. Plus, the “visual design” component of my brain never developed, which makes picking out curtains and hanging pictures a rather daunting task.

But, alas, the time had come to give a little attention to the homefront and I must say that I am right proud of ourselves! We have gotten more accomplished around our home in the last six weeks than (probably) the last 10 years of marriage!

I felt particularly motivated because of some significant deadlines: 

• Homeschool starts August 19
• Andy’s brother is moving in with us for the Fall on September 4
• Baby is due on November 9

I’m pretty sure that I won’t be super productive once homeschool starts back up and ESPECIALLY once our Little One arrives. So we had a small window between family vacation and school starting to get it done!

Here’s a list of some of things we’ve gotten accomplished around these parts the past 6 weeks:

• transformed my school room / office into a bedroom for Andy’s brother
• painted nursery
• bunked boys beds and transformed half of their bedroom into our school room
• painted outdoor patio and bought some patio furniture
• single-handedly put together 10 (TEN!) pieces of furniture!
• purchased a vehicle
• lots of cleaning, organizing, odds & ends type projects

We are in desperate need of a garage sale as our garage is becoming scarier and scarier to go into...like a black hole of STUFF.  But we’ve made a ton of progress and we are closing in on the finish line. Whew! 

And it’s a good thing, because school starts on Monday!

I just can't get it all done...

Does anyone else out there live by a To-Do list?

My college roommate, Kendall, used to laugh at me & my To-Do list, saying things like I probably wouldn't even brush my teeth without having it on my To-Do list. (That may or may not have been an exaggeration. Ahem...) Kendall, never being one who liked to be put in a box or tied to some external structure, was not a To-Do list kind of girl. When I suggested that she start a To-Do list of her own, she laughed and said, "I could write one, but I probably wouldn't do a thing on it. I'd just run all over myself!"

Well, whatever end of that spectrum you fall on, the reality is we all have to get stuff done. And the more responsibilities you have, the trickier it is to fit it all in.

Ever since I became a mom, I have had an exceedingly difficult time getting anything crossed off my list. Gone are the days of crossing off ten items per day...unless, of course, I started putting on my list things like "wipe Sammy's nose 12 times" or "reassemble Caedmon's StarWars legos 4 times". I could definitely feel successful if that was what composed my list.

Seriously though, it seems like I add 3 things to my list for every one I cross off. Even if you're not too good at math, it's easy to see that that is a losing equation.

Last night I was getting a little stressed about my ever-growing list of To-Do's, which might I add has some fairly important stuff on there like TAXES and getting Sammy's Social Security number worked out. So, what did I do? I emailed it to Andy, of course!

You see, my husband has this profound ability to take something complex and make it simple. He sat down with me and in five minutes had organized my list into an A list, B list, and C list according to priority AND he even took a few items off my list and put them on his own! Well that was the most effective 5 minutes of my day!

So, if you are drowning today amidst an ever growing To-Do list, let me encourage you to divide your list into groups according to priority. Try to keep the A list to only 5 items (definitely no more than 10). Everything else has to take a back seat until you get to those most important things.

Also, put a date by certain projects that you don't have time to do right now but you could schedule time for in two weeks from now. Once it has a date on the calendar, it doesn't have to hang over your head with the pressure of "I can never get around to that!"

Ok, I've spent enough time writing about my To-Do list...it's time I go accomplish something on it while Sammy's still napping!

Getting It Done: A Day in the Life

Today I thought I'd give you a glimpse into my strategy each day for "Getting It Done". The following is a schedule for my ideal day (Monday-Thursday). Notice that I said ideal, not typical. We are constantly needing to adjust things around and there are many days that certain things just don't get done. Also, Friday-Sunday are oddball days for me. Friday is Andy's day off and our family day. Saturday is a partial work day for Andy. Sundays are intense. Really intense.

5:30 AM- Wake up, begin workout ASAP

• Andy and I most often work out together to a DVD in our living room. Believe me, it's no Richard Simmons silly aerobic workout. We've done P90X together and have just started a new program called Insanity. The name says it all. Another workout DVD that I've done that is good and not quite as intense is Slim in 6. For me, it's hard to find time to get to the gym...especially with children in tow. So by having the options to workout at home, the only barrier keeping me from working out is if I choose not to get out of bed.
• I have to get my workout in early or I won't do it. I don't want to shower/get ready more than once a day so it either has to be at the beginning or end of the day. And it's best if I can do it when the kids are not awake. I have zero energy and motivation to work out once the boys go to sleep at night, so I just get up early.
• The boys are not "invited" out of their room until 7 AM. If they wake up before that (Sammy almost always does), then Sammy goes in the pack-n-play with some books and Caedmon has quiet room time.

6:45 AM- Shower, Get Ready (Andy helps with the boys if they are awake.)
7:30 AM- I'm on with the kids. Breakfast. Clean up from breakfast. Get boys dressed. Etc...
After breakfast- My time alone with God / Kids' TV time

• I allow my kids to watch 30 minutes-one hour of some sort of show per day. I'm strategic in my placement of it so that I can have that time to read my Bible. I go in my room, close the door, and focus. The reality is, I normally have to get up at least 2 or 3 times to break up a fight, help them if the show messes up somehow, etc. So, it's not exactly tranquil, but I cherish that time.

8:40 AM- T/TH preschool/room time

• On Tuesday/Thursday, Andy takes Caedmon to school if he's in town and doesn't have a morning meeting. Sammy has 30 minutes of room time. (Mandy has an awesome post explaining the purpose of room time if you'd like to read more about it.) I put a gate on the door to remind Sammy not to come out and I will help him select a few toys to focus playing with independently. Room time is tough for Sammy. He mainly stands at the gate and calls for me. Not in a hysterical crying way, but just a "I'm not sure why I'm stuck back here" kind of way. Room time is still a new concept for him and he'll figure it out soon. I remember Caedmon doing the exact same thing when he was younger.

9:00 AM- M/W preschool at home!

• I've started being a little more intentional about supplementing Caedmon's education with some at-home activities. Caedmon will be starting kindergarten next year and is only going to preschool two mornings a week. So, I'm just adding a little to what he's getting at preschool. Sammy participates as well (kinda). I'll share more about this later, but I get almost all my ideas from this website.

10:00 or 10:30 AM- Out and About

• Running errands, library, playground, playdates, etc...

12:00 PM- Pick up Caedmon from preschool (T/TH), head home for lunch

1:30 PM- Sammy naps/ Caedmon room time/ I'm on the computer

• Caedmon's room time is a little different than Sammy's. He no longer needs a gate to remind him to stay in his room. He doesn't need as much assistance choosing his activities (though sometimes I still help him if he seems bored). He engages more in the play and can have a more extended period of room time.
• My computer time is devoted to writing a blog post, updating our finances, writing our monthly newsletter, and returning emails (which I'm horrible at). Sammy typically takes an hour- an hour and a half nap. That's a lot shorter than the 2-3 hour naps that Caedmon used to take every day. I'm learning to adjust and be very focused with the time that I get.

3:00 PM-  Snack/Candy time

• If Sammy took a nap and Caedmon stayed in his room, they both get to choose a piece of candy. They also normally have some milk and a snack at this point.
• Then we're back at "it"...whatever "it" is for the day. Riding bikes, errands, outdoor play, etc...

5:00 PM- Dinner prep / Computer time

• While I prep dinner, I let Caedmon have 30 minutes of computer time. He can play on either starfall.com, pbskids.com, or disneyjunior.com. Sammy either watches him or plays around the house by himself.

5:30 PM- ANDY'S HOME! Dinner time.

• His arrival time fluctuates slightly, but he really makes an effort to get home around 5:30 everyday. When he walks through that door, it is a big moment and highlight of our day. The boys race to see who is going to get the first hug and then typically begin a wrestling match.
• We normally eat dinner somewhere between 5:30-6:00.

After dinner- Family time

• We try to really focus on family during this time between dinner and bedtime. Andy does an awesome job taking the lead in this. It looks different from night to night.

6:30 PM- Bath time/ Bedtime routine

• I'll tell you a secret if you promise not to judge me...we normally only bathe our kids every other day. Unless they're super dirty. Saves time and energy and last time I checked there was no fungus growing on them!
• Bedtime routine includes brushing teeth, reading a Bible story from The Jesus Storybook Bible, prayer, I sing at least one song, and I recently started quoting Psalm 23 to them each night. Someone told me that if you quote the same scripture to your kids every night, they will memorize it before long. Makes sense.

7:00-7:30 PM- Boys in bed

7:30-9:00 PM- Time with Andy

• Some nights we work, some nights we watch a show, some nights we have a good conversation. It just depends.

9:00-9:30 PM- Get ready for bed

• If I'm going to get up at 5:30 AM, I have to go to bed at 9:30 PM. That makes for a short evening for us, but it's a values call. We value working out so this is just our system for making it work.

So, that's a ideal day in my life. Not super-exciting, but it's how I fit in my Top 4.

Getting It Done: The Priority of the Home

Well, I'm sorry for not getting to my blog yesterday to continue my "Getting It Done" series. I guess I just didn't 'get it done' because we were having too much fun enjoying our Labor Day! So, here are my thoughts coming to you one day late.

Last Monday, I shared with you my "Get It Done" list. These are the top 4 things that I try to get accomplished each day. I build my day around fitting them in. I mentioned that perhaps you thought it was strange that Andy & the boys are no where to be seen on my list. Here's why: that list for me is like a task list, not a priority list. "The List" is a system I use to stay focused on some personal things that I value. It keeps me focused, motivated, and disciplined. It also helps me to gauge when my life is starting to spin out of control because I don't get around to them.

Our family life has some built-in systems, too.

Marriages and families today are not designed to go the distance. Family life carries on around us whether we are paying much attention to it or not, so it is easy to get neglected. However, if we want our homes to not only survive 50+ years but THRIVE, we have to prioritize what it is we say that we value most.

This week I'm going to share about some systems we have in place in The Wood Household that help us to "Get It Done" well on the homefront. If we had a "Get It Done" List for our family, it would look something like this:

1. Date Night
2. Family Day
3. Boys' Club
4. Weekly finance talk (I'll post on this tomorrow)
5. Keeping Nights Free (post on Thursday)
6. Decision to be a Stay-at-Home mom (post on Friday)

Date Night, Family Day, and Boys' Club are standard weekly appointments on our calendars. They are written in permanent marker and VERY few exceptions are made to cancel them. We're not crazy-legalists about it, but there would be many weeks that it would be easy to skip out on them because of busyness, traveling, etc... The system is in place to ensure that we are getting those blocks of special time together.

Sometimes I'll hear someone say, "Well, I don't get a lot of time with my kids, but the time I do get is quality time." That's bologna. Our kids don't just need quality time; they need quantity time! It takes quantity time to create quality time. You can't say, "OK, kids, we've got 20 minutes. Now let's have some quality time!"

Not every date night, family day, or boys' club is memorable. Some are highly forgettable and others we wish we could forget because they were so horrible! But because we have this SYSTEM in place, we have the opportunity every single week to create those special moments as a family.

Recently a friend was telling me that someone was giving her a hard time for having a weekly date night. They said to her, "That's a little much, don't you think?" She asked me, "Do you think I'm crazy for wanting a date every week?" I said, "No. I think they're crazy!"

It is absolute CRAZINESS not to prioritize the things we say we value. It is crazy to let temporary stress and urgent deadlines crowd out the relationships God has blessed us with. It is crazy to allow laziness and complacency to seep into our families while all the love, intimacy, and life drains right out. It is crazy to think we are the exception to the rule and our marriage/family will beat the statistics even if we don't make it a top priority.

It is more important than your job.
It is more important than your ambition.
It is more important than your hobby.
It is more important than your friends.
It is more important than your ministry.


We all believe that. The tough part is living like we believe that. You CANNOT get an 'A+' in every area of life. But this is not an area I'm willing to take a 'B' in.

What are your SYSTEMS that help you "Get It Done" well at home?

Getting It Done: My List

A couple weeks ago I shared with you (part of) my "I JUST DON'T DO THAT" list. It's actually quite long, but I thought 10 was a good even number to share. I could have also included things like "I don't clean my car" and "I don't serve creative lunches to my children" but, I mean, really? Who needs to know that?

Today I thought I'd share with you the things that make it to the top of my priority list on a day-to-day basis. My list is very small, fluctuating between 1-4 items. The crazier my season of life, the fewer things get to be on my GET IT DONE list. For example, when we brought Sammy home from Ethiopia my list had about 1 or 2 things on it.

So,without further adieu, here is my list in the order that they normally get accomplished:

1. Work out
2. Shower
3. Time Alone with God
4. Write a blog post

It's pretty noble, huh? Nothing like setting high expectations for yourself! If I get all 4 of those things done in a single day, I feel HUGELY successful. (You'd be amazed by how few days that actually happens.)

Next Monday I'll write a post explaining why those 4 things are important to me and what my system is for getting them done. Overall, the reason I prioritize those things is because they are areas of my life that I value but are, unfortunately, the easiest to get neglected. Life will happen, filling up every second of your day. And if you don't intentionally prioritize the things in your life that you value the most, they will likely get overlooked.

There are seasons when the list has to shrink...having a baby, starting a new job, moving, etc... Any major life transition requires adjusting to a new normal. Those are the seasons that we have to give ourselves lots of grace. I didn't work out for FOUR MONTHS when we brought Sammy home. I wasn't sure that I'd ever get it back together and I felt pretty rotten about myself. But after the storm settled, I found my rhythm again.

When my list has to shrink, the first things to go are working out and/or blogging. I really try to prioritize my time with God even in the midst of craziness because I know that's what keeps me grounded and gives me proper perspective on life. There was more than one day when we first brought Sammy home that I didn't get a shower, but by-golly I was going to read my Bible! (Please don't take that statement to mean that I never miss a quiet time. I absolutely do, but I never drop it for a full season.)

You may think it's strange that Andy and the boys didn't make my priority list. I'll explain that next Monday!

What makes it on your GET IT DONE list?

Getting It Done: Myth #2

Last Monday I said that when it comes to Getting It Done, Myth #1 is that it is possible to get it all done. It's not. Embrace it. I hope you made your "I JUST DON'T DO THAT" list this week.

Myth #2 about Getting It Done:

Everyone else's life is much more exciting 

and 'together' than mine.

Isn't it so easy to look at other people at church on Sunday, read someone else's blog, or people watch in restaurants and imagine that their lives certainly looks more together than your's feels. I've actually stopped reading certain blogs because they always left me feeling horrible about myself. I'd see all these amazing things that someone else was doing with their kids or with their personal lives and feel like a total failure. 

Twitter can be the same way. We always put our best foot forward in social media. We work out, we have great time alone with God, our kids are adorable, our church is doing something truly significant, yadda, yadda, yadda. Our lives seem so important and glamorous. There have been moments that I've been tempted to tweet, "Overslept. No workout. Ate 6 donuts for breakfast. Yelled at my kids and got in a fight with my husband. Don't feel like reading my Bible. All before 8 AM." I wonder what kind of response that would get. :-) Not that that has EVER been true of me. I mean, maybe some of you people have experienced that, but of course I never have. My life is much more together and exciting and important than that! Ahem...

I recently heard Pastor Steven Furtick say, 

"We compare everyone else's highlight reel to our behind the scenes." 

Most of the time we don't know the pain, trials, sacrifices, and back-breaking work that has gone into such a moment of triumph for that person. We just compare their success to our day-to-day, and are left feeling like they must be some type of "super-human".

The reality is everyone has "junk" in their life. We all live out the mundane moments most of the time. Some days get punctuated with an exclamation mark, but for the most part it's: empty the dishwasher, buy toilet paper, wash the never ending mound of laundry, prepare 21 meals this week, etc... It's life. 

To some, that may sound so depressing. But for me it was an absolutely liberating realization. I find such joy in knowing that mundane does not equal insignificant!

Remind yourself everyday of the bigger picture, the mile-high view, of your life. You're not just changing diapers; you're shaping a warrior. You're not just preparing a meal; you're creating an opportunity for community and engagement to happen around your kitchen table. You can worship the Lord no matter what task is at hand if you have the attitude that no matter what you do, you will do it as unto the Lord. (Colossians 3:17)

One closing thought...I once heard a godly woman challenge another group of women by saying, "If the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, it's time to water your own grass!" So my challenge for you today is to create marvelous moments amidst the mundane.

Getting It Done: Myth #1

Do you ever feel like you just can't get it all done? If so, you are in good company (with pretty much every single person on the rest of the planet!). I believe this feeling is magnified in moms with young kids. Moms wear a thousand different hats throughout the course of a day and often feel like we can never excel or do a good job at any one thing. Something is always neglected. We are always behind somewhere.

So, I have decided to write a series of blogs (check back each Monday) entitled "Getting it Done". Why? Because I've pretty much figured it out and I tend to get everything done. (Insert ridiculous laughter here.) No, no, no, no, no. These posts will likely offer no new information, but will hopefully be a good reminder to all of us, including me!

Myth #1 about Getting It Done: 

It is possible to get it all done.

I love to think of myself as some sort of super-hero, with extraordinary strength, stamina, and fluidity with multitasking. I love to trick myself into believing that it really is possible to get through my entire "to-do list" in one day. And maybe I could before having the Littles, but priorities have changed and often the "to-do list" takes a back seat to playdough.

To remind myself of this I had to get really clear about the things that are most important for me to get done. I also have to be very clear about the things that I JUST DON'T DO. That second list is probably even more important than the former. 

Here are a few things that I would love to do, but I've had to let go of:

1. I don't scrapbook. I absolutely love to look at other people's scrapbooks and wish that I had those for our family. But it's just one of those things I had to let go of. I try to get all my photos for the year in a very simple digital scrapbook...but I'm over a year behind even with that!
2. I don't bake or cook extravagant meals. I cook at home for our family most nights, but it's fairly simple. Baking only happens for guests or special occasions.
3. I don't clean my house every week. It is a rare occasion that we go to bed without the house being completely straightened, but you could write your name in the dust on our entertainment center. I'll post more on this later.
4. I'm not committed to returning emails in a timely manner. This is annoying to so many people, I know. But I get very limited amounts of computer time a day and, honestly, I'd rather write a blog than return email. 
5. I don't sew or do anything crafty. Nothing. At all. 
6. I don't coupon. I feel quite guilty about this at times and have attempted it on a few occasions, but I just do not have it in me. At least not right now. I just buy the store name brand and tell myself that that's my way of saving money.
7. I don't iron. I only iron once a week on Saturday nights the clothes that Andy & I will wear to church the next day. I consider it part of my volunteer role for South Bay Church: iron pastor's clothes. Other than that, you're on your own!
8. I don't garden. There's not even a living plant in my house.
9. I don't do thrift stores, garage sales, or farmer's markets. Great bargains, I know. But it's a time thing for me.
10. I don't go camping. Maybe this will change one day, but it's going to take some convincing. A hotel with a bed, clean bathroom, and a pool sounds much better to me.

 A "Stop-Doing List" can be so much more helpful than a "To-Do List". Let the fantasy go that you can do it all and decide the things that you are willing to put aside, at least for this season. And throw the guilt out with it.

I would love to hear some things that YOU JUST DON'T DO. Leave a comment to let me know!