Moving Madness

Dear Blog-World,

I may be MIA this week due to the fact that we are moving this weekend, my husband will be out of town two days this week, and I have two small children. Our apartment looks like we are auditioning for the next season of Hoarders as we are up to our neck in cardboard boxes.

I'm not sure what it is about moving, but it is making me want to purge EVERYTHING! I am throwing away all kinds of "treasures" my kids have accumulated over time...treasures like kazoos, and yo-yos, and poker chips, and little spinny tops. And in the unlikely event that it occurs to them one day that they haven't seen that paper airplane in a long time, I fully intend to "blame it on the move". I'll say things like, "Hmmm, I haven't seen that since we moved. What do you think could have happened to it?"

So, please don't be annoyed with me for taking a break from the blog. Just PRAY FOR ME instead! And I hope to see you back next week...IF we get our internet and power transferred correctly to our new place!

Glow Sticks

Last night, Caedmon provided a family fun night via his $1.00 purchase from Target earlier in the day. After dinner and PJs and the brushing of teeth, we turned off all the lights and busted out some glow sticks.

Below is a pic of Andy with a tail...

Andy's tail in the dark...

Of course, then Caedmon needed a tail...

Caedmon's tail in the dark...

Sammy had a different idea of what to do with his glow sticks.

This is the boys waving "Good-night". We let them take a few glow sticks to bed with them which they were very excited about. But neither of them actually wanted to keep them after about 10 minutes. Glad I didn't make a big fuss about it before making them go to bed without them!

This is what I found waiting for me when I came to bed last night.

And that's about all you need to know about our night last night! :-)

Experiencing Today

Today was an UNBELIEVABLY beautiful day in the Silicon Valley...the kind of day that I'm pretty sure it's borderline a sin to stay inside. The kind of day that makes me sing out loud even when others can hear me and skip instead of walk to my destination.

The Littles and I packed a lunch and rode our bikes to the playground. Well, actually, I packed the lunch and chased them (in my jeans and converse wearing a backpack) as they rode their bikes to the playground. But it was fun. And it was all the more fun because Mandy and her 3 Littles met us there! I think people think Mandy and I hang out all the time, but the truth is our lives tend to run on parallel tracks like toddlers who parallel play. We always know the other is there and most of our activities are similar, but it is a rare delight and special treat when we actually enjoy quality time together.

Mandy & I were talking by the swings while she pushed Efraim, when all of a sudden I noticed Caedmon in the bushes pulling his pants down! He was mid-squat when I yelled (in my 'Mom voice') "CAEDMON ELLIOTT!!" He jerked those pants up and stood there frozen like a deer in headlights.

When I got over to him I said, "What in the world were you doing?!?"

Caedmon replied, "I was trying to hurt myself."

???

He pointed to the bush with its prickly branches and I realized that he was not actually planning on dropping a load right there beside the sandbox, but rather wanted to see what it would feel like to sit his sweet lil' soft tushy on those sticks.

Mandy said, "Talk about needing to experience the world first hand!"

Maybe he's a tactile learner. I don't know, but it sure gave us a good laugh. I wish I had a picture of Caedmon's face when he got busted mid-squat. It was a combination of sneaky, embarrassed, and curious all wrapped up in a sheepish grin.

Ahhh....every family should have a Caedmon!

Comfort

The highlight of my day every Tuesday & Thursday comes from 12:00-12:10. It's those first few minutes when I pick Caedmon up from school. I'm not exactly sure what it is...I was only away from him for 3 hours, but I am always so excited to see him.

And, I might be fooling myself, but I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual.

All the kiddos are supposed to stay in their seats until their parents have signed them out each day (just to eliminate chaos). But most days, Caedmon, who has never been known for his exceptional ability to follow rules, pops out of his seat and runs to me as soon as I walk in the door. Like some magnetic force that draws us together.

Last Thursday I bounced in Caedmon's classroom with a huge grin on my face quickly scanning the room to find Caedmon. He sees me and jumps right up and runs to me, but this time with tears in his eyes. I squatted down and he buried his head in my chest and mumbles, "Today was sharing day."

My heart broke to see his heart so broken. I didn't realize that it was sharing day and therefore Caedmon didn't take anything with him to share. It was the first time that had ever happened.

I said, "Oh, Caedmon. I am so sorry! Did you feel left out?"

Sniff, sniff, "Yeah."

His precious teacher who was watching the soap opera unfold rushed to the scene and reassured him, "Caedmon, you can bring something to share on Tuesday."

Sniff, sniff, "Okay."

That helped calm him down, but he was still sad. Not mad-sad or disappointed-sad. Just genuinely sad. And it made my heart hurt and wished that I had super powers to turn back time 3.5 hours so that we could prepare something really awesome for him to share with his friends.

Later that day the thought occurred to me there will be many more occasions in Caedmon's life when his heart is dashed against the rocks. And there won't always be a simple solution like there was this time. There will be moments when his heart aches so deeply that he's embarrassed to try to express it. He will walk through pain and trials and receive wounds that leave nasty scars. And as his mom, my heart will ache with him and wish with everything in me that I could take that pain upon myself.

When my brother was in high school, he lost one of his very best friends in a car accident. My mom happened to be out of town at the time. She hadn't heard the news yet when we went to greet her at the airport. We all tried to pretend like everything was okay and said "Welcome Home!" and gave hugs and kisses. But she took one look at my brother's eyes and knew something was terribly wrong. When my dad told her what happened she wrapped her arms around my brother and they both sobbed in that airport. 


She didn't have to squat down to get to eye level with that big teenage boy and he was far too big for her to hold, but I know she wanted to. Because that what mom's do. We pick up our kids when they hurt and we squeeze them so tight and whisper things in their ears that somehow quiet their hearts.  

And we hurt with them.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Psalm 34:18 which says:

God is near to the brokenhearted. 

He's like a parent who picks us up and squeezes us close, letting us feel the rhythm of His heart. In those moments, His throne becomes a rocking chair and the praise of heaven becomes a lullaby. 

When I walk through unbearable pain, like a deep depression I suffered through for a couple of years or our struggle with infertility, I don't turn away and shake my fist at God. Why would I run from my Source of comfort? It makes me so sad when I see people turn from God when they face a crisis. We were NEVER promised the crisis wouldn't come. But we were promised the COMFORT and NEARNESS of God in the crisis. 

When you face pain in your life so intense and raging that it takes your breath away, allow yourself to feel the nearness of God. He is there with you. He is squeezing you tight and whispering His truth in your ear.  Truth that says He can turn your mourning into dancing, and your weeping and despair into praise. Trust your Father enough to believe what He says even when you can feel nothing but pain. 

Blessed are those who mourn,

for they will be comforted.

Matthew 5:4

Getting Out The Door...

Every parent knows that getting out the door with children in tow is a work of art. The process begins in my mind the night before...planning out what time we need to arrive somewhere and then backing up the time for each step in the process. Additional time must be added for the loading and unloading of carseats and if there are any children who have a thing for examining bugs along the way. Planning includes, but is not limited to:

• what everyone will wear (and do we need to take a change of clothes just in case?)
• ensuring tummies are full
• checking one last time that bladders are empty
• brushing teeth
• combing hair
• packing snacks/drinks for everyone
• socks & shoes on (bonus if they're on the right feet)
• & finally, do I have what I need? wallet, sunglasses, phone, keys

Wait a minute, where are my keys?

That's where my system stalled out this morning. I had a doctor's appointment this morning at 10:30 and the Littles were going to accompany me. I had an iPad, an iPhone, and two sets of headphones carefully stowed in my purse. I left myself more than enough time so that we would not be rushed. We even had time to straighten the house before walking out the door. But the crisis struck the moment I couldn't find my keys.

My first thought (after looking on all counter tops and checking jacket pockets) was "I must have left them in the fitness room when I worked out this morning." So with both Littles in tow, we ran (not walked) to the fitness room to find my keys. One problem. You have to have keys to get in the fitness room! Fortunately someone was in there running on the treadmill and I'm sure they were just delighted to see me banging on the door and thus forcing them to interrupt their workout to let the crazy woman and two children in the fitness room. Much to my dismay, my keys were NOT in the fitness room.

Hmmm...perhaps someone turned them in to the Leasing Office.

Crazy woman, Little #1, and Little #2 run to the Leasing Office.

There was a sign on the door that says they are closed for President's Day. But the door was cracked, so I let myself in. The alarm was going off already, so I figured I'd at least check out the front desk on the slim chance that someone had left my keys there. Rounding the corner, much to my surprise I came face-to-face with Ms. Deloris. 

Ms. Deloris is an elderly lady that lives in the Northeast most of the year, but stays with her daughter here in California each winter. We've gotten to know Ms. Deloris a little over the last 4 winters. She likes to shuffle down to the Starbucks here at our apartment complex each day to enjoy drinking complimentary water and smoking cigarettes provided by passer-byers. She is a sweet & friendly lady and my two boys make her smile. When I saw her this morning she was helping herself to the complimentary coffee provided by the Leasing Office. We exchanged pleasantries, both acting like it was quite normal that we should be in a dark Leasing Office with an alarm going off. 

Alas, my keys were not in the Leasing Office, so we all made our exit before any authorities came by to check out the reason behind the alarm.

As the boys and I trudged back to our apartment I said, "Well, I guess we're not going to the doctor afterall, kiddos. Mommy can't find my keys!" I fumbled around in my purse one last time and, what do ya know? My keys had been in there the whole time! (Unless, of course, Ms. Deloris had somehow attained them and then covertly dropped them in my purse when I was unaware. Just kidding.)

This brought Caedmon great delight and he went ON and ON about what a silly mommy I am as we sprinted to our van. I was tempted to put Sammy under my arm like a running back carrying a football, but I refrained and we still made it on time. I'm pretty sure, however, that I lost brain cells through the experience.