IT'S A...

Last night was one of the happiest nights of my life. 

A few weeks ago my friend, Mandy, said she'd like to do some type of gender reveal celebration for us.    Boy, did she ever pull off something great!

Mandy is my "we're in this together" friend. She and her husband, Filipe, were the first to join us in taking ownership of the vision of South Bay. They sold virtually everything they owned, moved across the country with us, and have labored side-by-side with us as South Bay turned from a vision to a reality.We raise our children together, vacation together, and share life's ups and downs with each other. She has walked this whole journey with me emotionally...from the years of infertility, the excitement of pregnancy, the devastation of losing the baby, the timidity of beginning another pregnancy, and now this... 

Last night before the reveal she said (without crying, amazingly!), "I have prayed for this baby for the last 5 years." What a gift. What a friend. 

As I looked around at the friends who were gathered, I knew each of them knew our story. Each of them had prayed prayers on behalf of our situation. They grieved with us in our pain and were pulling for us every step of the way. The joy of last night was magnified because of the back drop of pain it was cast against. 

Mandy called in the A-Team of party planning and they pulled off such a special, beautiful, and fun party. (She promised me they would keep it simple. I told her I think she must have a different definition of the word "simple"!) It was a night full of laughter, excitement, hugs, and tears of joy. 

 Yummy desserts with an adorable banner

Everyone had to vote whether they thought the baby would be a 

"Bow" or "Bowtie". This group was betting on a girl! 

Here are the bowties. 

It was really late on the East Coast, but my sister & mom insisted that they wanted to stay 

awake and be apart. I Skyped my mom and Facetimed in my sister. Love technology!

No one at the party knew the gender. Even my friend who brought the balloons had 

someone else prepare the balloons for her. There was SO MUCH anticipation and 

excitement in the air! That moment was more wonderful than anything I had hoped for. 

It's a GIRL!!!!!!!

Here are all the girls celebrating another addition to our tribe! Don't let the silly faces 

fool you...at least half of these ladies were in tears moments earlier. What a joy to 

have friends who love you so deeply!

 Here's a 45 second clip of the reveal! I've watched it at least a dozen or two times!

Doing Life Together

Occasionally someone at South Bay that I may or may not know will tell me that they have been reading my blog. I always love it when people tell me they're out there because it inspires me to keep writing and it gives me a better idea of who I'm writing to.

Recently one sweet gal came up to me and began telling me how much she had been enjoying reading my blog. Then she said a phrase that made me laugh out loud and meant the world to me at the same time. She said, "I feel better about my life when I read about yours."

I loved that. I read (or avoid reading) plenty of blogs that make me feel worse about myself...I don't do enough crafts with my kids. My home looks like a single guy decorated it. My days are spent cleaning up messes and folding clothes while she's out writing books and changing the world. And on, and on, and on.

While it is not my goal to air all of my dirty laundry in cyber-space, it is a huge value of mine to be authentic. In my opinion, the last thing this world needs is one more person pretending like they've got it all together. We benefit a lot more from people who are willing to share their struggles, trials, and failures. It's the stuff life is made of, and the way we respond to those difficult moments will shape our lives.

We are ALL works in progress. We ALL have days that leave us cringing in frustration over things we wish were different. And, if we are willing to let the guard down and be authentic, we can ALL experience the grace of God that is ours for the journey.

So, let someone in today. Not in a TMI-weird-major-over-sharer kind of way. But in a let's-do-life-together kind of way. I'll splash some grace on you while you splash some grace on me. I'll follow your lead on paths you've walked before, and I'll invite to join me in the journey God has me on.

Instead of desperately focusing on our own image control, let's be willing to allow others to feel better about their lives when they look at ours. The road's a lot more beautiful when we do this journey together. 

All About Andy Day!

I’m not sure anything gives me more joy than planning and pulling off something really special for someone that I love. 

I realized a few weeks ago that our family would be traveling on Andy’s birthday AND Father’s Day this year. Poor guy. That’s not a very fun way to spend your special day. So I started racking my brain for ideas of what I could do to make those events meaningful celebrations. 

After pursuing half a dozen options, I finally landed on “All About Andy Day”. On Thursday morning I gave Andy the following paper to let him know that the next day would be his special day!

Thursday afternoon I picked up Andy’s dream car (a Jeep Wrangler) from a friend of ours. They were so gracious to allow us to use the car all weekend. It made the whole experience feel like a rugged adventure. So fun!

After the boys went to sleep on Thursday night, I prepped all of our food for the picnic the next day. Andy prefers healthy food, so In-N-Out was not an option on a day especially crafted for him. Made egg salad, assembled fruit kabobs, sliced fresh veggies, and whipped up some homemade hummus. 

I told Andy, "I think I must express love through thoughtfully prepared food!"

Friday turned out about as perfect as a day could be. One minor glitch in the plans was that Andy didn't really get to "wake up slowly and snuggle with his boys" due to the fact that his boys thought it would be great fun to bust out of their room at 6:40 and begin opening and slamming all the upstairs doors. Oh well. Not all variables can be controlled. :-/

A yummy breakfast

Andy went for a long walk while I made these beauties.

We hit the road a little after 10 and took the scenic route to Santa Cruz.

We stopped at a playground to play and enjoy our picnic.

Who do you think had the most fun at the playground? Watch this 6 second video to find out!

After the playground, Andy introduced the rest of us to frozen Acai. Ahhh! Where have you been all my life?! If you haven't had it, evidently it's a type of fruit that is popular in Brazil. There's a place in Santa Cruz that mixes the frozen Acai with your choice of toppings, such as granola, bananas, etc... So good!

Then, of course, we had to head over to the beach for a bit...

After the beach, we drove home to take showers and get ready for Date Night!! We dropped our boys off at the Santos house and headed over to Maggiano's for a delicious, romantic dinner. What a perfect way to end a wonderful day!

The day took a bit of planning and prep, but not a whole lot of extra money. Investing in the people we love is so worth the effort and it's mutually beneficial! I got to enjoy all the fun, too. Plus, a husband who feels loved and blessed delights in loving and blessing his wife! It's a good cycle to be on!

Happy Birthday & Father's Day, Andy! My admiration and respect for you is constantly growing. You are an amazing man and I'm SO THANKFUL to get to call you mine!

He gets his courage from me. Clearly.

My hands were full as I opened the door to my house and saw a SQUIRREL scamper across my kitchen floor. I closed the door and walked right back outside.

My thoughts were, "Fine, you want the house? I'm not gonna fight you for it. I'll just take my kids to playground until Andy gets home...in, like, 5 hours!"

I called Andy, "Uh, Babe, there is a squirrel in our house."

"What? A squirrel?"

"What should I do?"

We were trying to decide between him coming home from work and me walking over to my neighbor's to ask for help when Caedmon overheard me say something about a squirrel being in our house. Before I knew what happened, Caedmon was in our house playing peek-a-boo with the squirrel.

I felt like quite the role model as I stood outside the house peering in my kitchen window at my 6 year old son who was a foot and a half away from this squirrel. We call Caedmon "the Animal Whisperer" because he has NO FEAR of any animals and likes to get as close to them as he can.

I didn't want to freak him out but inside I was screaming, "Caedmon! Get away from him! That squirrel will bite through your big toe with those rabies-riddled teeth of his! He's likely to jump on your face and wrap all four limbs around your head while he gnaws on your nose.  And then I will have to peel him off of you and 4 year old Sammy will have to call 911 to tell them that his brother has rabies and his mom has suffered a heart attack!"

I didn't say that.

Instead I opened the front door and calmly said, "Caedmon, dear, don't touch the squirrel."

When the squirrel ran back under the couch, Sammy and I quickly made our way on top of the kitchen island where we sat safely perched while "coaching" Caedmon. I may or may not have said, "Caedmon, Mommy will pay you $5 if you can get this squirrel out of the house." Not that he even needed the incentive. He was having a blast. But you tend to say desperate things when in desperate circumstances.

My 6 year old son proceeded to move all of our furniture to expose the squirrels hiding places and then chased the squirrel around while laughing gleefully.

The dumb squirrel bi-passed the wide opened front door and ran downstairs. Caedmon and I followed. Once I found a safe position standing on top of the arm of the couch, Caedmon resumed the search for the hidden squirrel. The squirrel darted right passed me (albeit, 3 feet below me) and I screamed like a little girl on the playground. This delighted Caedmon to no end. He laughed hysterically as he chased the squirrel back upstairs.

This adventure lasted about 30 minutes and, when the squirrel finally decided to rejoin his proper habitat, my habitat was quite a mess. Every couch and table had been moved, one lamp was broken, and squirrel droppings were everywhere. Evidently squirrels poop when under pressure. It's their go-to coping mechanism.

Caedmon was awarded his $5 and walked around the rest of the day like he had received a badge of honor. That's the best investment of $5 I've made in a long time!

Big Announcement

My friend wrote me an email the other day saying, "I miss you. I thought maybe I accidentally got unsubscribed from your blog, but then I went to your blog and saw that you haven't been writing..."

I thought to myself, "I miss me, too."

It's hard to know where to pick back up and begin writing again. So much has happened in my heart and life since my legs were taken out from under me last November. It has been quite a journey, and one that I couldn't find the words to express along the way. I felt like it needed to be a season of reflection, healing, and personal growth for me.

I've felt like Mary in Luke 2 where it says that she "kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often." That's what I've been doing. Taking all these "things" that have become my story and pondering them over and over again.

If you don't attend South Bay or follow me on Twitter, you may not have heard that Andy & I are expecting again! We are, obviously, thrilled and cannot wait to meet our Miracle later this year. I am 15 weeks along and (FINALLY) allowing myself to feel excited and expectant as we move out of the "danger-zone". After 6 years of hoping and praying and longing, this is really happening and it brings tears to eyes just to type that.

When we found out that I was pregnant again, it was a strange mixture of emotions for me. As much as I wanted to be head-over-heels excited, I felt very guarded and even a strange sense of grief. I tried explaining it to a friend by saying, "If a parent who had multiple children lost a child, that parent would absolutely be thankful beyond words for the surviving children. But the grief would still run deep for the child that was lost." I wanted to feel nothing but happiness and relief when this pregnancy became a reality; but for me, the grief lingered on a bit.

The following is an excerpt from an email I wrote to my family when I told them I am pregnant:

I can see pieces of the bigger story coming together, brushstrokes from the Almighty. It's just taking my heart time to catch up... to receive it all with joy. I have more peace. I'm just awaiting the joy.

The day our family drove home from that vacation in San Diego last November was a cloudy day. It drizzled on and off throughout the drive. I felt the grayness was quite appropriate. But the sun kept fighting its way through the clouds- visible rays of sunlight shooting down through a hole in the heavens. There was a rainbow that followed us almost the whole way home. It just kept showing back up on the horizon. 

I knew it was God's way of speaking to me but I couldn't receive it. I wanted to, but my heart was so raw. "Stacie, my promises are still true. I'm still the same faithful God. I will never leave you." All day long it would speak to me, remind me, taunt me. At one point there were two rainbows side by side, as if He took out a megaphone to try to get through to me. "I'm not done with you yet. This is not the end of your story. I'm still painting. Beauty is coming. Trust me. Believe me."

So, so much pain. I still don't understand how the pain makes the story more beautiful. I still don't see why it had to be written this way. But one thing is finally coming into focus that had been blurry for too long: I can see that God has been with me every step. 

This baby that I now carry is due the exact week that I miscarried in November. One year later to the date. My due date is November 9. The miscarriage began November 7 and the heartbeat was gone on November 12. It's a strange redemption. A painful, tearful redemption. But a redemption, no less. 

He's got me in His hand. And He's got you, too.  Wherever you are in the story, you can trust the Author to work it all together for your good and His glory.