An Advent Resource: finding meaning amidst the chaos

I had an unwanted moment of self-revelation recently… I have begun to dread Christmas.

Really? Ugh! I hate that.

Christmas was always one of my favorite and most meaningful holidays. I have a thousand wonderful Christmas memories from childhood. Candlelight services on Christmas eve. Giddy anticipation. Stockings first, yummy brunch, then presents. Christmas music in the background and the smell of cinnamon rolls lingering in the air.

But, now, things are different. Well, they're actually quite similar; it's just my role has changed. Now, I'm the one buying and wrapping all the presents. I'm the one setting out all the decorations. I'm hosting parties and making the cinnamon rolls and trying to plan fun Christmas activities for our kids.

And somewhere in the midst of making it magical for everyone else, I've lost the wonder of it all for myself.

The dominate emotion I feel is no longer anticipation of Christmas, but relief when Christmas is over. And that's sad to me.

I want to anticipate His coming. I want to remember what a desperate and hopeless predicament mankind was stuck in until that silent night when Hope was born. I want to feel my own desperate need for this baby who split time and swept away darkness and made a way for redemption.

My life is in all kinds of need for Him right now. Some times we feel that more than others, and I'll just be honest, I feel it deeply. I need Him to surprise me with His presence the way He surprised the shepherds. I need to ponder Him in my heart the way Mary did. I need to go to ridiculous lengths to find Him the way the Wisemen did. I don't want to miss Jesus this Christmas.

This is the season of Advent. Anticipating something great. The arrival of something so important and significant that it changes everything. Yes, I think that's exactly what I need right now.

Last year we started a new tradition that I loved but think we will continue to tweak. We did a "Jesse Tree" last year and told a different Bible story each night that led up to the coming of Jesus. I liked the concept a lot, but the thing I want to tweak are the selected stories and how they are told. My goal is to tell Bible stories that all link directly to our need for a coming Savior.

Andy found this Advent resource and so I think we'll start here…with God's perfect creation, how we messed it up, and how He paved a way back.

I'd love to hear ideas from your family: How do you keep things simple enough to enjoy Christmas and meaningful enough that you don't miss Jesus?

Suck it up, Princess

I thought about starting this post by saying that I've been going through a tough time lately…there are some personal challenges in my life that are really weighing me down. But then I thought, I'm pretty sure anyone at anytime in their life could make a statement like that.

The challenges change during different seasons of life.

• In college, I jammed my schedule SO full with classes, work, practicum, and ministry responsibilities that I could barely find time to eat or sleep.
• When first married, my whole life got turned upside down with a new husband, new home, new city, and new job. I suffered through an undiagnosed depression for over a year. 
• When we had our first child…
• When we started South Bay Church...
• When we adopted...

Some difficulties undoubtedly outweigh others. And, intermingled with the pain, every season has it's share of joys.

It's the dance of beauty and heartache. The place where laughter and tears merge. When fist-pumping victory in one area is tainted with failure in another. That moment when a breathtaking sunset is interrupted by a swarm of gnats.

We don't get to separate the two. They are always there…together.

And it is up to me to see the artistry in it all. To choose gratitude over pity. To cling to faith over despair. To believe truth instead of lies.

What I say to myself and about my situation can drastically affect, not only the outcome, but also how I walk through it. I have to surgically remove the lies I'm believing and replace them with what I know to be true.

• I am blessed. (Ephesians 1:3)
• God has given me everything I need for life and godliness. (2 Peter 1:3)
• His grace is more than enough. (James 4:6)
• If I ask, He will give me wisdom. (James 1:5)
• He has a plan and somehow this will work out for my good and His glory is I will stay the course. (Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:28)

And then, some of the most inspirational words I'm saying to myself right now are: "Suck it up, Princess." 

I don't have time to wallow around in hopelessness. I've got three kids who are counting on me. I'm the only Mommy they get so I better put my hand to the plow and try my best. I've got laundry to do, meals to prepare, bills to pay, and scraped knees to bandage. I have work to do and I am stronger than I think I am. So I will brush the tears off my face (or sometimes just let them flow) and I will keep moving. I will suck it up and believe that when I do what only I can do, God will step in and do what only He can do.

Self-reflection has it's place...But you might as well be sorting the laundry while you at it.

So today, identify the lies that you are believing about yourself or your circumstance and then replace them with truth. You gotta suck it up, Princess. The world is counting on you to show up. To bring your best. Keep fighting through the gnats to dance in the sunset. I'll meet you there.

Sunshine

Wish that I… 

...had a box that could keep every time, 

a remote to rewind back to every sweet moment we've shared,

 because time will fade memories.

 Oh you shimmer, you glimmer, you shine. 

Every breath that you take matches mine.

 When you smile all the world come to life

and, my Love, i would give you mine.

Click here to watch a 3 1/2 minute video that I will forever cherish.

(Photos by my talented friend, Nikki. Check her out here.)

A letter to my long lost friend!

Dear Blog of mine,

I've missed you. I think about you often and have so much to tell you. I wish we had the chance to catch up more often. It seems that the busier I am, the less busy you are. Funny how that works.

I've been wanting to tell you about how much I delight in that precious baby girl who is sleeping upstairs right now. There are so many pictures I want to show you. So many expressions and milestones and firsts. She is the light in my eyes, and holding her has carried me through some rocky patches this year. It seems that at least once a day, I am overwhelmed again by a wave of gratitude for this most precious gift. I haven't intended to keep her from you!

I've also read some books that I wanted to tell you about. Learned some life lessons. Made some memories with my boys. All of these are things that I've wanted to share with you, my long-lost Blog. But alas, I have been so busy living my life that I have not found the time to write about it!

I really want to do better. You are so dear to me. I find in you moments of reflection and quietness of soul that has been hard to come by these days. Let me assure you, there have been no large quantities of quietness around the Wood household these days.

So, my sweet friend who is always eager to hear about all of my antics, I will try to be more loyal. I am working to arrange my life to grab a cup of tea and sit down with you more often. You have been dearly missed and not at all forgotten.

Sincerely,
Stacie 

Minivan VS. SUV

We are a Swagger-Wagon family. Although I’ve always felt like you voluntarily forfeit all rights to coolness as soon as you transition to the world of minivans, we took the plunge several years ago. I’ve been known to look with a tinge of jealousy on large families who drive SUVs. All the necessary space in such a cooler package.  

Well, now I’ve seen how the other side lives.

A few weeks ago, our van was tail-ended and it is still in the shop getting repaired. In the meantime, the insurance company provided us with a Chevy Tahoe to drive. Alright, now! Whose got their swag back?

So I’m here today to offer a little compare and analysis. I’ve now seen the grass on both sides of the fence and I’ll tell you (from my opinion) which one is greener.

My favorite thing about the Tahoe is taking it on dates with Andy. It makes me feel all fancy and hot. It does not give off the same feeling of “Mom-and-Dad-are-going-out-for-dinner” that a minivan leaves you with. The seats are big and spacious. And you feel like you would probably “win” in any run-in with another vehicle. Plus, I’m fairly certain that people are intimidated of us...like perhaps we’re drug dealers or gang members. And, you know, sometimes a little respect ain’t all that bad.

However, the negatives abound. 

• It is a beast to park, especially in the Bay Area where they try to promote clean air vehicles by making all parking spaces the size of a SMART car. 
• The doors open wide...very wide, as opposed to sliding like a minivan. Not only is this problematic with our postage stamp size parking spaces, but little boys don’t really care if your Mercedes is parked next to us. They will mindlessly bang any car door in their way, thus the reason I have the child-lock on their door so they can only exit upon assistance. 
• There is no storage space. Groceries, hello? If I am in need of this many seats in a vehicle, that means I also have that many mouths to feed. Strollers? Beach toys? Luggage? “Here kids, hold this on your lap for me.” (An XL edition would be imperative were we ever to buy one of these things.)
• It takes two strong arms to close the trunk. I cannot be multi-tasking or holding anything else in my hands when I close the trunk. No, this activity requires full engagement. And I  have to pull down on that thing as zealously as those people spin the wheel on “The Price Is Right”. 
• The third row does not exude kid-friendly accessibility. The seat on the middle row must laboriously be pulled forward each time we get in and out of the car. As a mom trying to quickly squeeze in an errand or two between naptimes, those are precious minutes lost. Our kids have resorted to climbing over the middle seat instead. 

It has been fun driving around my Monster Truck for the past couple weeks. I believe I may have achieved a level of coolness that I've yet to experience in my adult life. My neighbors probably think I keep parking it in my driveway just to brag, but the reality is it won’t fit in our garage. It’s just that big. 

So, I must say, I’m kinda looking forward to getting my minivan back with it’s sliding doors and trunk that can open and close with a simple push of a button. I realize that my lameness will automatically increase as soon as we make the trade, but for me, convenience outranks coolness in this stage of life.