R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

This week I've been doing a 4-part series on my top lessons learned/themes from 2010. On Monday, I shared about how God continues to miraculously provide for our family financially. Yesterday, the topic was Despicable Me. Today, I'd like to share another theme woven throughout my year...a growing respect for my husband.

I wish everyone had the privilege of knowing Andy the way I do. Well, maybe I don't really wish that, but you know what I mean. I just wish that people on the outside could see the amazing man he really is behind the scenes. Lots of people get to watch him preach his heart out each Sunday and listen to messages that motivate them to seek God more. But I think that if our church could see how Andy lives his life, interacts with us as his family, and pursues God, they would be even more motivated to grow.

I'll just give 5 quick examples of qualities that make me respect Andy so much...

1. His consistent pursuit of God. There is rarely a morning that you won't find Andy up before the rest of the family either reading his Bible or on his knees in prayer. He sets the pace for our home spiritually. There is also rarely a night when Andy doesn't pray over me before we go to sleep. He inspires me to love Jesus more.
2. His discipline with working out and eating right. Andy has always struggled to maintain a healthy weight. Many of you have heard his stories from middle school when the kids would bang on the lunch table and chant "Chunky, chunky!" :-( Ever since I've known him, he's worked out pretty consistently, but this year he took his health to a whole new level. He has diligently exercised and watched what he ate all year and has lost almost 20 pounds. Andy is typically either losing weight or gaining weight, but this year he has learned how to maintain his weight and is doing an awesome job! I'm so proud of him!
3. His growth as a leader. Andy is an avid, maybe even rabid, learner! Last year he read over 30 books on various topics such as leadership, spiritual growth, marriage, parenting, etc... He intentionally seeks out other leaders who are a step or two ahead of him to learn from them. He asks great questions (and he's full of them!). He is always looking for growth opportunities such as coaching networks to be apart of. Andy is humble enough to want to learn from anyone. When he meets with another leader, he asks one question after another instead of filling up the whole conversation with his own thoughts. The Bible teaches that God gives grace to the humble, and I believe God continues to provide learning opportunities for Andy because he humbly makes the most of every opportunity given.
4. His pursuit of me. Andy adamantly protects our date night each week so that we consistently get some one-on-one time. It's hard for parents of small children to find time for meaningful conversation, so we prioritize that night. I love that date night is seriously his favorite night of the week. I know that I am a refuge for Andy and that means the world to me.
5. His growth as a dad. When Caedmon was born, Andy was finishing his masters degree and pastoring a church full time. He had virtually no free time and, thus, I did most of the caretaking for Caedmon when he was a baby. However, he has been so involved with Sammy's transition home. He rocks him in the middle of the night, helps with bath time routine and putting him to sleep, wrestles with him and plays with him after work...Sammy actually seems to prefer Andy much of the time! "Boy's club" is a standing appointment for him on Saturday mornings. I fear I am quickly being "out-awesomed" by their dad!!

Ephesians 5:33 teaches that we as wives MUST respect our husbands. It's a choice we must make regardless of how "respectable" they may or may not seem. I'm so thankful to have a husband who makes my job easy!!!

Despicable Me

Yesterday I began a 4-part series of blogs sharing my top lessons learned/themes of 2010. I gotta warn ya...yesterday's post on God's Provision for our family was much more encouraging then this one will be... We could sum it up as God is good, and I'm pretty rotten.

I have a tendency of thinking of myself as way more noble than I actually am. I can think of a million hypothetical "trials" that I may encounter in my life and how I would hypothetically respond to them. For some reason (probably because my heart is full of pride) I always imagine myself walking through that trial just as Jesus would-- humbly, gracefully, joyfully, and with self-control.

Well, in 2010 God saw fit to rock my boat a little and let me catch a peek through the window of my own soul...Not nearly as pretty, neat, and tidy as I imagined in my hypothetical world.

I have shared some on this blog about how difficult the first 3 months home with Sammy were. Sleepless nights, inconsolable screaming fits, his refusal of affection yet need of being held. We had gone through training, read books, and talked with other adoptive families. We knew in our minds that it might be tough, and we also knew that the transition period would not last forever. What I was not prepared for was my own emotional response to this trial.

I have been astonished, dumbfounded, and repulsed by some of my responses during this difficult transition period with Sammy. This is a child who I love deeply, have prayed for earnestly, and for whom I would gladly lay down my own life. How in the world could I (someone who's been seeking to be more like Jesus for over 20 years now) get so angry, impatient, and frustrated by him (a child made in the image of God who has been through tremendous loss and exceedingly difficult circumstances in his short 2 years)?

Have you ever had one of those, "Where did that come from?!" moments when you say, think, or do something so terrible and out-of-character that you think demons must have momentarily taken over your body? Well, unfortunately, I've had more moments like that than I'd like to admit. And the truth is, it wasn't the devil who made me do it. It came from within. From deep down in my heart. 

Proverbs 4:23 says "Above all else, guard your heart for it is the well spring of life" and Matthew 12:34 says, "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." The fault lies not with Sammy or adoption or trials in general. The fault lies in the sin found in my own heart.

By God's grace, I believe we've made it through the most difficult part of this transition process. I cannot even begin to describe how much richer our family is because Sammy is here. He brings joy and laughter to the mundane and we see a real tenderness in his heart. But one of the most wonderful (yet painful) gifts Sammy has given to me is a mirror to see my own heart and need for the mercy of God.

2010 has been a reminder to me that I have not arrived. My character is still under constructions. And my heart is in constant need of cleansing through the blood of Christ.

God's Provision

Over the next 4 days I'm going to share my top 4 lessons learned/themes from 2010. The first theme has been God's miraculous provision for our family...

This first time I personally experienced God's financial provision in my life was in college when I signed up to go on a mission trip that cost $5,000. I had no idea where that money would come from, but I felt led by God that I should go on the trip and He took care of the rest.

Then there was that time soon after we got married when we realized we were not going to have enough money to pay our bills. We were both attending seminary, both working part time, and just were not making enough money. We had a small amount of savings that we watched go down, down, down all semester until our savings and our checking accounts were completely depleted. We had a bill to be paid for about $150 and we simply did not have the money...Until I checked our mail one day and there sat a check for $150. God came through.

A couple years later I was pregnant with Caedmon and we were in desperate need of God's provision again. We felt led that I should quit my job as a teacher in order to stay home with Caedmon. Over the course of three months, Andy & I had to find renters for the house we owned, find a place for ourselves to live, and raise additional financial support for our church so Andy could take a raise. I remember being so stressed but constantly reminding myself that God was faithful. I knew He would come through somehow, but it was foggy to me. However, at the end of that 3 month period, the haze had cleared and we were left staring at God's provision.

When we were preparing to move to California to start South Bay Church, we had some pretty daunting financial circumstances in front of us. Andy had about $20K in student loans from college that were coming out of differment since he finished grad school. We had to sell our home in Texas in a housing market where houses weren't selling. And we felt led to move to one of the most expensive cities in America to start a church. I cannot even tell you the countless miracles we saw from January 08 to February 09 when South Bay had it's Grand Opening. Our house sold, we were debt free, and 279 people showed up for the Grand Opening of South Bay Church. Unbelievable.

2010 has been one example of God's provision after another. There were three main leaps of faith financially which God led us to take this year. The first was our adoption of Sammy, which ended up costing about $34K. That number is astounding to even write, but God provided for every. single. dime.

South Bay's giving challenge in February was the second time God really stretched our faith. Andy did a series on financial freedom and challenged our church to begin trusting God with their finances instead of clinging to what the world values. He challenged our church to begin tithing over the next 6 weeks and see how God provides for them. I felt like we should take the challenge with the church and contribute and additional 10% of our income on top of what we were already giving during that 6 week time span. It was a stretch for us, but God was faithful.

Then, over the summer we realized that at our current rate of growth we were going to outgrow our facility within a year. Thus, Andy led our church through a capital campaign last fall to try to get into a more permanent facility. Again, Andy and I felt prompted by God to trust Him with HIS resources that He's given us.

You'd think with all these examples of God's miraculous provision in our lives, these opportunities for faith would be easy for us. Second nature, even. Our go-to response. But one thing I've learned about God is that He will keep taking us to new levels of generosity and faith. He never wants us to get too comfortable where we are when there is SO MUCH MORE of Him to be experienced.

From a $5,000 mission trip in college to a $35,000 adoption ten years later, God is faithful. Always has been. Always will be. So, let's put our faith in Him this year!!!

Awakening

This Sunday, South Bay Church joined with churches all over the world in a new series called, "Awakening". We are focusing the next 21 days on prayer, fasting, and personal devotion.

Andy preached an awesome sermon today about the story of Zacchaeus and his decision to say "Yes" to Christ. He challenged our church to make that our decision this year...before we're faced with the question, before the opportunity to deviate arises, before the invitation exists...whatever God asks of us, may our answer be "YES!"

Andy concluded his sermon with a story about Mother Teresa and her wholehearted devotion to Christ. He read several of her prayers/declarations that I wanted to share with you. May these prayers be echoed in our own hearts this year:

• Lord, I yield myself fully to You.
• I embrace Your calling on my life.
• I will do Your bidding without delay.
• I will refuse You nothing.
• I will endure all hardships for Your sake.
• When I don't feel Your presence, I will still be faithful.
• I will seek to love You as You have never been loved before.
• Here am I. Send me.

 I am so excited about our fast that starts tomorrow. Andy & I have opted to do a Daniel Fast and also to not watch TV/movies throughout the week (with the exception of date night). I realize that fasting is not on the Top 10 list of what most Americans enjoy doing, but I feel such a need to cleanse my body physically after the holidays and to refocus my heart spiritually as we launch into this new year. I believe God has great things in store for us this year and I want to be ready for them!

If you'd like some ideas for the Daniel Fast, click on the "Daniel Fast" label on my right side bar. I also plan on posting a couple new recipes as well.

Stay tuned to my blog this week as I'm going to be sharing my Top 4 lessons learned/themes of 2010. The titles will be:

1. God's Provision
2. Despicable Me
3. R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
4. Embrace this season, but don't hide behind it

Back to Life. Back to Reality.

The holidays are over and blogging is back in session. It's funny to me that I can be so giddy and excited about the holidays coming...putting out decorations, eating all the yummy food, spending time with family and friends...and then be every bit as excited and giddy that they are over...getting my house clean/uncluttered, eating healthy, and getting back into a sustainable routine.

We had a great holiday season and were able to see almost all of our family...

My parents & my brother were all able to visit us for an early Christmas in California.

After Christmas, we trekked up to Michigan to spend some time with Andy's family. This is the first time we've had the whole side of the family together since Meaghan and George's wedding almost 6 years ago. And at that point my sister-in-law, Jamie, and the 3 kiddos were not yet apart of the picture. It was so good to all be together.

We also got to spend time with Andy's mom, brothers, and "Nanny" while in Michigan. It was fun watching everyone meet Sammy for the first time. Our two boys left Michigan with no lack of love (or presents)!

Now it's back to grocery runs, washing clothes, updating finances, and picking up the same toy 12 times a day. But, somehow, that sounds oh so wonderful to me right now. Embracing the mundane.