Once upon a personality...

Kids have such unique and distinct personalities. We all do, I guess, but it's more surprising to me in kids because it makes me realize that their personalities have so little to do with the shaping influences of their lives. Their character develops as a result of their shaping influences, but their personalities are gifts from God.

Take my two kiddos for example...

Caedmon's motto:

Life is one big competition.

Sammy's motto:

Life is one big party.

Caedmon can make a competition out of ANYTHING...who got to the door the fastest, who buckled their seatbelt the fastest, who got the most Cheerios & raisins at snack time, whose artwork is more beautiful, and (my personal favorite which he just came up with on Friday) who has the most poop.

Sammy couldn't care less about winning the race and the only thing he's concerned about when it comes to food is if there's more where that came from! That child laughs, spins, and jumps his way through life.

My role as their mom is to celebrate their unique personalities and draw out the strengths I see in them.

Caedmon is full of courage, determination, and opinions. His memory is astounding and he is able to communicate with amazing precision exactly what he wants to say.

One thing I love about Sammy is that he can't stay angry long. It only takes a little tickle or a flip upside down to get him laughing again. He brings joy to everyone who sees him...even total strangers are mesmerized by his long eyelashes, contagious grin, and friendly waves. 

I will be the first to admit that I am quick to lose sight of these wonderful virtues that my children possess. But each morning and evening as I pray for them, my Father reminds me of how much HE loves them and that they are two of His most precious gifts to me.

Today, let's all commit to remind our children of the things about them that make us marvel.

Monday Matrimony

My dad celebrated a birthday yesterday, so this edition of Monday Matrimony is in honor of him! My dad officiated my wedding, which was so special. One of the things he said directly to me during his charge to us as a couple has stayed with me these past 8 years of marriage. That's what I want to share with you today.

So without further adieu, here's your weekly bit of [unsolicited] advice...

Tip of the Week: Bring out the lion in him. 

In our wedding ceremony, my dad shared a brief sketch of the story line from the movie The Lion King, specifically the part about Simba throwing off his responsibilities as king and just having a "Hakuna Matata" mentality. It wasn't until Nala found him and spoke truth into his life that Simba began to reengage with all that he was supposed to be.

Although I can't remember the exact words my dad used, in essence he said, "Stacie, there will be times when Andy will feel discouraged or overwhelmed or even useless and defeated. God has given you the role as his wife to speak courage into him. Bring out the lion in Andy."

I love the picture those words paint in my mind. We put courage in our husbands as we EN-COURAGE them.

Be his biggest cheerleader. Tell him all the wonderful things you see in him. Celebrate his ideas, dreams, and visions. Believe in him more than anyone else, even more than he believes in himself sometimes. There should never be any other person (especially any other woman) who believes in and encourages your husband more than you do!

Bring out the lion in your man!

Not sure if you realized this...

...but Spiderman really loves computer games!

You Gotta Fight Back!

Last Thursday, Andy hosted a "Church Planter Think Tank", which was in essence a one day conference to share some of his lessons learned/best practices with other church planters and leaders. When he first came up with this idea, he set a goal of having 50 people attend. I thought it was a rather ambitious goal, not because I didn't think the content would be golden, I just didn't know where the people would come from. As the day approached, more and more people kept registering and we ended up with over 120 church leaders! It was an amazing day and the content was so rich and helpful.

Leading up to this day, I feel like our family was under some spiritual attack. It didn't surprise me because it seems like every time there is a "Big Day", Satan likes to go to work on our family or our staff's families. Why would he just passively sit by as we seek to train and equip 120 leaders committed to advancing the Kingdom?

So, last week we got to enjoy not one, but two trips to Urgent Care. In my four and a half years of parenting, I have never had to make a trip to Urgent Care or the ER. On Tuesday, Caedmon busted his forehead on the handle bars of a scooter. Wednesday, we made another trip because Caedmon busted his chin on the bathroom counter. The forehead did not require stitches. The chin did. Same doctor both visits.

Caedmon also had a round of diarrhea, a slight fever, and the initial stages of a cold which sent his asthma back into motion. So it was back on Albuterol and steroids of him. (Not the Barry Bonds kind!)

Then, on Thursday morning as I was trying to get everyone out the door for the Think Tank, Sammy busted his lip while pushing around a little dump truck in our house. I heard screaming and saw blood and my first thought was, "Seriously? I cannot go back to Urgent Care for the third day in a row! DSS will meet me there!" But, alas, it was just a small cut. Whew!

I checked the mirror one last time before heading out for the Think Tank and said, "What is that on my neck?" Oh, it's my child's blood. Nice.

I grabbed my tea in my travel mug and got the kiddos strapped in their carseats. As we were pulling out of the garage I heard a loud thud and realized that I had left my tea on top of the van. Mug shattered.

I totally understand if you think all those things happen to be coincidences. I realize that all moms go through that from time to time. But, if you are a pastor's wife, I know you are nodding your head in agreement that it was part of a spiritual attack. The precise timing of it was too impeccable.

Andy told me when I got home from Urgent Care on Wednesday night with Caedmon that he had just spent 45 minutes on his face praying. He wanted Satan to know that if he was going to throw sucker punches at our family, we were going to fight back!

South Bay Church continues to have record breaking attendance. Last Sunday we had 628 people with four people indicating a first time commitment to follow Christ. Our church has baptized 16 people in the past few weeks. God is moving in the Bay Area and Satan does not like it.

I tell you all of this because Easter is coming up. We can expect there to be some spiritual attacks over the next few weeks. Sicknesses. Accidents. Conflicts. They can come in any form. But if you are living your life on mission for the King, and especially if you are in leadership in the church, then you need to get your dukes up! Get ready for the fight and be prepared to fight back.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against 

the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this 

dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly 

realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God.

Ephesians 6:12-13

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On 

the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 

2 Corinthians 10:4

Monday Matrimony

Wow. I feel like I have been through a whirlwind the past 7 days. Maybe tomorrow I'll give you a glimpse at my week, but for today it's your weekly bit of [unsolicited] advice...

Tip of the week: Attack the problem, not the person.

Isn't it so easy to get sucked in to hurt feelings, emotional comments, and personal digs when in a conflict with your spouse? Everything that drives us crazy about our "Beloved" suddenly comes to the forefront of our minds and this seems like the perfect moment to share it with them.

Well, before we board that train (which is headed toward disaster) let's consider another option.

Whenever you notice frustration building in your heart over an issue, big or small, take note of it. Use a little self-control to stop and think it over before just verbally throwing up on your spouse. Try to identify exactly what the source of your frustration is, and isolate that one problem.

Then, get it on the table. Imagine yourself sitting on one side of your kitchen table and your spouse at the other. Set the problem right in the center of the table so that you can both look at it from all angles. When you put the problem in the center of the table, the issue is suddenly not your fault or your spouses fault. The focus of the conversation is not casting the blame. The focus becomes attacking the problem (and finding a workable solution).

Let me share an personal example where I totally blew it...

Last fall I really wanted to get some professional pictures taken of the boys but we didn't have money budgeted to do that. When I told Andy I was planning on getting some pictures made he asked which line item in our budget we were going to take the money from. I said, "I don't know." And he said, "Well then I don't think we should get professional pictures taken."

That's the point in the conversation where I should have thought, "How can we fix this problem in a way that we could both accomplish our goal?"

Instead, I got totally emotional and started saying that clearly Andy doesn't value capturing our boys' childhood the way that I do and virtually inferred that he doesn't love and value our family! Wow. Ridiculous. But that's how you get in a fight.

If I had had enough self-control to analyze the problem instead of attacking Andy, we would have found our solution a lot faster and saved a lot of hurt feelings in the process.

So, get your problem to the center of the table and attack the problem, not the person!