Lead with what ya got

It's been a battlefield, this mind of mine, and war has been raging the last couple months. I know I'm in an intense season whenever I find that I'm carrying full-on conversations with myself (only sometimes out loud!). Do you ever do that? Find yourself deep in thought, mid-way through a conversation and then think, "Who in the world am I talking to?!"

Yesterday I was having one of these conversations that was half-praying and half just talking to myself. The dialogue was regarding my frustration about my lack of leadership at South Bay right now. I feel like I am tapped out and don't have a lot to offer. And, possibly for the first time in my life, I feel like maybe I'll never-ever-for-as-long-as-I-live want or be ready to lead again. I know in my mind that's a lie. But I'm just being honest, right?

Then God interrupted my flow-of-consciousness by depositing this nugget of truth into my heart.

"Lead with what I've given you." 

Right now I've been given a wheelbarrow full of sorrow and loss, and I push it around with me where ever I go. On Sundays I make sure to dress it up a little so it's not quite as conspicuous, but if you look closely under the table where I stand at the Guest Center you might catch a glimpse of where I tried to hide it. It's not pretty and it smells kinda bad, so people tend to avoid it. But the reality is, there are a lot of people at South Bay who are pushing around their own wheelbarrows full of grief. And somehow, I know in my heart, that it is an encouragement to them to see someone else who is trying to praise God with one hand while using the other to keep this unstable wheelbarrow from tipping. 

Sometimes we get to lead from our strengths, blessed with wisdom or success from the hand of God.

Sometimes we get to lead from our mistakes, humbly recognizing our need for 2nd chances.

And sometimes we get to lead from our pain. 

People need to see all three. We don't need leaders who have it all figured out and their lives never get rocked. We need leaders who are authentic, humble, and willing to share lessons learned whether in the valleys or mountaintops of life. 

So, no matter what season of life you may be in today, I pray that you will receive God's challenge to lead with what you've been given.