Tuesday, February 9, 2010
It's Just Money
I've thought about that phrase a lot because it's so counter intuitive from the way we think. Our whole lives seem to revolve around food. Planning what we'll eat, buying groceries, preparing meals, choosing restaurants. We have countless options and yet we seem to stick with what we are most comfortable with. If we are 30 minutes delayed on a meal, we complain that we're "starving". To us, it doesn't seem like "just food." But the truth is, that's all it is. It's just a tool to keep our bodies nourished and have energy.
Different subject, same principle:
Right now I am up to my neck in adoption grants, trying to find some money to help out with all these adoption expenses. I stayed up past midnight last night trying to finish up four grants. This has been the first week since we've started this journey that I felt a little overwhelmed by the cost of it all. I think in my mind I had prepared to pay for about half of the expenses, but then assumed that we would get the rest of the funding from outside sources. We are just now starting the fund-raising process (you have to be completed with your homestudy before you can start). In my heart I am 100% confident that God will provide for us. But in my mind I realize that we are out on a limb and if He doesn't come through we'll be in a tough situation.
Honestly, though, I kinda like being out on a limb. (Maybe that's why Andy and I seem to find ourselves in these type situations a lot!) It's not comfortable. You can't fit a Lazy Boy and a plasma TV out there. But I like it because of what it does for my relationship with God. Let me be clear, Andy and I are not trying to be unwise or put God to the test to see if He'll bail us out again this time. We're just trying to follow His leading without fear of the unknown limiting our willingness to take risks. It doesn't take a lot of faith to live life in comfortable circumstances. But that's not the type of faith that I want. I want to actively BELIEVE GOD for the miracles that He desires to unleash on my life!
We've already spent over $13K and still have somewhere between $10K-$15K to go. I have watched our Emergency Fund (for all you Dave Ramsey fans out there) shrink to half of what it was before we started this process. That's kinda a hard pill to swallow.
But then it dawned on me: IT'S JUST MONEY!!! It's not my security. It's not intended for me to hoard. It is a tool. And I'm willing to put it to work however I feel like God wants me to. I know that God has led us to adopt and He can supply all of our needs. He "owns the cattle on a thousand hills." He is not wringing His hands or looking for a bailout. He is God, and I for one trust Him.