Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Getting It Done: The Priority of the Home

Well, I'm sorry for not getting to my blog yesterday to continue my "Getting It Done" series. I guess I just didn't 'get it done' because we were having too much fun enjoying our Labor Day! So, here are my thoughts coming to you one day late.

Last Monday, I shared with you my "Get It Done" list. These are the top 4 things that I try to get accomplished each day. I build my day around fitting them in. I mentioned that perhaps you thought it was strange that Andy & the boys are no where to be seen on my list. Here's why: that list for me is like a task list, not a priority list. "The List" is a system I use to stay focused on some personal things that I value. It keeps me focused, motivated, and disciplined. It also helps me to gauge when my life is starting to spin out of control because I don't get around to them.

Our family life has some built-in systems, too.

Marriages and families today are not designed to go the distance. Family life carries on around us whether we are paying much attention to it or not, so it is easy to get neglected. However, if we want our homes to not only survive 50+ years but THRIVE, we have to prioritize what it is we say that we value most.

This week I'm going to share about some systems we have in place in The Wood Household that help us to "Get It Done" well on the homefront. If we had a "Get It Done" List for our family, it would look something like this:

  1. Date Night
  2. Family Day
  3. Boys' Club
  4. Weekly finance talk (I'll post on this tomorrow)
  5. Keeping Nights Free (post on Thursday)
  6. Decision to be a Stay-at-Home mom (post on Friday)
Date Night, Family Day, and Boys' Club are standard weekly appointments on our calendars. They are written in permanent marker and VERY few exceptions are made to cancel them. We're not crazy-legalists about it, but there would be many weeks that it would be easy to skip out on them because of busyness, traveling, etc... The system is in place to ensure that we are getting those blocks of special time together.

Sometimes I'll hear someone say, "Well, I don't get a lot of time with my kids, but the time I do get is quality time." That's bologna. Our kids don't just need quality time; they need quantity time! It takes quantity time to create quality time. You can't say, "OK, kids, we've got 20 minutes. Now let's have some quality time!"

Not every date night, family day, or boys' club is memorable. Some are highly forgettable and others we wish we could forget because they were so horrible! But because we have this SYSTEM in place, we have the opportunity every single week to create those special moments as a family.

Recently a friend was telling me that someone was giving her a hard time for having a weekly date night. They said to her, "That's a little much, don't you think?" She asked me, "Do you think I'm crazy for wanting a date every week?" I said, "No. I think they're crazy!"

It is absolute CRAZINESS not to prioritize the things we say we value. It is crazy to let temporary stress and urgent deadlines crowd out the relationships God has blessed us with. It is crazy to allow laziness and complacency to seep into our families while all the love, intimacy, and life drains right out. It is crazy to think we are the exception to the rule and our marriage/family will beat the statistics even if we don't make it a top priority.

It is more important than your job.
It is more important than your ambition.
It is more important than your hobby.
It is more important than your friends.
It is more important than your ministry.

We all believe that. The tough part is living like we believe that. You CANNOT get an 'A+' in every area of life. But this is not an area I'm willing to take a 'B' in.

What are your SYSTEMS that help you "Get It Done" well at home?

1 comment:

Mary Lu said...

Monthly date nights, the first Friday of the month. We also swap with another couple to keep it free.Would love the increase the it to weekly some day :)

Boys club, 2nd Saturday of the month. Have to be age 3 to join and not taking an am nap. Sorry Silas...

Wednesdays we have our finance meeting.

"first come first serve" motto for our family calendar. We share a gmail planner. Each one supports the others plans. Example: If i put coffee with Stacie Starbucks at 7pm, no questions asked he takes care of the boys. Very functional!