Dear Trader Joe's,
I feel like our relationship got off to a bad start. I mean, let's be honest, it was not love at first sight. Everyone talked about you like you are so wonderful, but the first time I met you I was not too impressed. (I'm sorry to be harsh. Honesty is the foundation of every relationship.) I came to you with some very specific needs to be met, and you were unable to meet them. I left our first meeting disappointed and frustrated by your inadequacies.
However, in light of our more recent encounters, I just wanted to tell you that my opinion of you has changed. I've learned that I can't come to you with a list of needs, but rather to seek an experience of being delightfully surprised by all of the unique qualities and attributes that other grocery stores simply can't offer. Who else welcomes me with music that makes me want to dance, cashiers who actually are dancing, and opportunities to win a $25 gift card simply for sporting my own bag? Talk about a friend with benefits! I think this relationship is really beneficial for my son as well. He loves how you give him a dozen stickers every time we visit. (You really know how to win a woman's heart.)
So, after much consideration, I have joined the ranks of those who think you are wonderful. I promise to always to embrace you for who you are instead of trying to fit you into some mold that I want you to be. I hope that are relationship continues to grow and blossom!