Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Whose Job Is It Anyway?

Do you ever find yourself getting overwhelmed as you try to fix someone else's problems? I have experienced this a lot in my own life, especially in regards to my husband.

You see, I love to know all about what he's doing at work... challenges he's facing, decisions he's making, projects he's working on. It makes me feel apart, like we're a team working toward the same cause. I'm 100% bought in to the vision of South Bay Church and I am one HUGE Andy Wood fan. So I love to listen and provide feedback and support where I can.

But every once in a while I notice myself getting stressed over what he's stressed about. I start trying to think of ways that I can be the solution to one of his problems. My shoulders get knotted up and my mind is always racing. My heart's motivation is to help and to support, but what's really happened is we've just added one more stressed out person to the equation. It's not helpful to anyone.

That's when I have to remember that God has called Andy to be the point leader of South Bay Church. Not me. I lead with him in many ways. But Andy is the man of God who has been called, anointed, and equipped for that position. God has given Andy the strength, wisdom, and grace he needs to lead well, to make hard decisions, and to navigate tricky waters. God has made Andy's shoulders broad enough and strong enough to carry the load that's been given to him. My shoulders, on the other hand, are not equipped for the same load.

When I start trying to shoulder the responsibilities that God has place on someone else, the load feels awkward and burdensome and unbearable. It's not my job. I'm taking on something that God didn't give me the grace to do.

God has equipped my shoulders for a different job and life works much better (for everyone!) when I focus on carrying the load He's given to me.

At the end of my life, I will not be held accountable for how well I did Andy's job. God gave Andy a load and He gave me one too. Part of that job for me includes loving, supporting and encouraging my husband. So I need to listen, care deeply, provide thoughtful feedback, and trust. I will be held accountable for how I cheered him on, provided a "safe place" for him, and told him how much I believed in him. My shoulders were equipped to carry that kind of load.

I can't take on his responsibilities; but I can do mine well. And me doing my job well helps him do his job well.

Has your well meaning empathy for someone else's situation turned into you shouldering a load you were never intended to shoulder? Remember, God has given them the grace and strength they need to carry the load He's given to them. He has not given that same grace and strength to you. So love them well, but don't try to meet needs for them that only Jesus can meet. 

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